How to solve a loveless marriage

Is it feasible to “bring back to life” a dead end marriage? If you're in what can sometimes feel like an empty loveless marriage, you may very well find yourself asking this question, time and time again.

Sometimes, there is only one person in the relationship asking this question, and the other person doesn’t have any idea that something is not right, or they just want to put an end to the relationship as soon as possible. If you have concerns about how your marriage is going and feel that some work needs to be done to bring it back to life again, then here are a some basic tips you can use to try and “jump start” it back into existence, once again.

The first step is to do your best to take out all your emotions and take a step back from it and be as objective as possible. This is not an easy task, but you should aim to do the best you can.

Writing things down on paper will help you separate the facts from your emotions. If you can, work out when and where things started to fall apart, and what could have been done to handle those situations better. If you and your partner have already parted, then you need to do your best to minimize contact with them as much as possible until you have a better grasp of the situation.

It is important that you try and bear in mind that being objective is not laying blame or pointing an accusative fingers at your partner, this exercise is about trying to get a handle on what needs to be done next to save your marriage.

The whole purpose of doing an assessment is to locate the real reasons for problems in your marriage, not the symptoms, i.e. if one has been cheated that is not the problem, but rather the accumulative results of some other underlying situation that finally lead to cheating.

After the "assessment phase" is completed you now arrive at the "action phase".
The action phase is by far the most difficult stage because you now have to approach your partner about the things that you've been analysing. This is not easy so get ready for some opposition; you will need to be strong. Of course you should always be prepared to listen to any thing your partner has to say, but you need to ensure your side is clearly heard. Also being stubborn, dogmatic or inflexible has no part in trying to solve a relationship problem so be prepared to change your mind about certain things that your spouse may bring up.

The common denominator for any successful relationship is communication, without it you are both “sunk” so being prepared to compromise is vital. However, if your relationship has descended to the point that you are constantly never seeing eye-to-eye over every little thing, and neither side is able to make suitable compromises, then the question of "staying together" may not be a wise and sensible option. But if you efforts have shown some progress and there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel then follow it, and make things it workout.