Most of the days when we feel lost and have this gorgeous sensation of being a complete failure, we search desperately on google for things to help us know what to do. We look for something that at least will make us feel more comfortable and positive for the future. What we look for is what to do so as to thrive and help ourselves feel better. But what would happen if we at least realize and face the things that we do and ruin our lives?
It’s not about always doing our best. This may be frustrating for some people (I have heard it somewhere, I don’t know what frustration is). It may be to always just avoid some certain things that will make us feel uncomfortable in the future, or even worse, that will make us feel the bitter feeling of regret.
I made a short list of things that are all tested and failed. It took me 8 years to test them (without knowing) and 4 minutes to write them down. They never work. They will only work for losing your time which never comes back. 100% warranty, no money back. Too much effort to gain your pride again. And maintain it.
Underestimate your time. Don’t care about the quality of the people you hang out with. There is one and only truth. Your tribe can kill you and build you. Besides my personal experience ( I have always had the best quality of friends, with one exception of an affair that brought me down and killed me), I have another story that adds value on this. About a year ago, I watched one of my favorite golden buzzers in America has got Talent. Take the time to watch this. Landau Murphy is a legend that had no idea of his talent. Why? Because no one had ever told him! Because he used to hang out with losers that wanted to stay the same. And misery loves company. Misery hates being alone. Don’t accept people as they are. Take notice of what they do in their free time, how they spend their hours of the day and the way they talk to you. If it’s not pure gold, go. Take your kids in your pocket, now or tomorrow or 5 years later, but leave. I know it’s difficult, but if one can do it, everyone can.
Force things to stay the same. Stability is comfortable, and everyone loves it. But stability is a human-made illusion that brings sadness if cannot be obtained. The days when I was afraid of my change, I wrote an article so as to comfort and encourage myself. Take the time to have a look, it is not my personal opinion. It is based on Stephen Hawking’s book “A Brief History of Time”. The article is a combination of this book about the universe, mixed with philosophy. Trying to keep things or people the same, is an illusion and only grief can be born this way. Embrace your change and the change of others. Learn to say goodbye to your previous self and the people this character loved.
Don’t find time for books. I am 32 now. I have been reading for 2 years. As a kid, I loved reading. I used to read about 2 books a month if I can remember correctly. But then the school failed me. I was in my last 2 years of school when I got depressed by the pressure, I was negative to anything that had to do with reading. All I wanted was cry and sleep. I entered a type of university (in my country there are kinds of sub-universities), where I studied, but I faced reading as a duty. I never wanted to do this in my free time.
Then, because of long-lasting depression (my 20’s were magnificent now I am thinking about it), I was lost. One book came into my hands. Because of my long-lasting depression, my brain was a mess. I couldn't focus on my page, my memory was a disaster. I committed to myself to read 2 pages per day. I made this my routine. 2 pages of a book every day. Then I realized that my memory got better, I started recovering. I managed to add more pages and my memory in everyday life got better too!
I understood that my brain is a muscle that can be worked out through reading. I have gained knowledge and a way to feel proud of myself for never quitting and never stop learning. It is psychotherapy. Trust me, friend, read every day and take notes of what you learn. Make the library your temple and turn your home into your temple afterward.
4. Praise yourself for dealing with the negativity of others. Don’t do this for too long. What you deserve is finding your tribe and feel home. What you deserve is having a deep conversation with people that do not need further explanations and misunderstanding never falls on the table. Sometimes we feel unique because others do not understand us. No. We feel unique because we are unique. This is nature. Feeling lonely because no one speaks our language is not nature, whatever culture or religion or family says. Praise yourself for positive feelings and feel proud only for escaping and surviving. Not for being superior to an emotionless ego. (All ways of the destruction of life have been tested and approved by the writer, no games here.)
5. Overthink next steps. Hello hello, the queen is speaking. This was not life, this was a freaking roller coaster. I used to overthink my next steps so much, adding all my fears and terrifying myself of all the negative possibilities that I ended up getting my degree at the age of 32! I have ruined my everyday feelings and finally my whole decade because of thinking too much of the long term dreams. My dreams used to freak me out! Failure after failure, I understood that I was completely wrong with this attitude.
Now I am thinking only of my very next step, I am mastering my day. Only my day. I am completely terrified of writing a book. I never think of the day that it will be published, I just write one page per day. Everyday. I always feel anxiety when my home gets a mess and I am always tired about it. I never think about cleaning the whole house. I only write down that today I want to make one room. The more I get frustrated the more I postpone it and then the mess of my house gets into my soul and then I will not want to get out of my bed for days.
I realized that small steps that are done every day bring gets me more easily to my goal, I just try to master my humble day. And feel proud of it.
You can make your own list, and everyone’s list is completely different from the other’s. Or maybe the same, I don’t know. What I know for sure is that people do not hear any piece of advice, people need to make their own mistakes to learn. If I could say anything to someone though, I would say: “Whatever we do, let’s fail fast and move on”.

Author's Bio: 

My name is Efi and I want to be part of the global change. However, we need to be healthy and happy so as to make a global change with a positive impact on the future. I write about life and philosophy. The best part of writing comes in giving a spark of life to my readers with the help of cosmology science. I literally love it.

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