by Michelle Collier | on February 5, 2013

How in the world did I get to the point that I stopped believing in myself? Did it begin when I hit a brick wall on my job? I remember spending the last day on my job sitting at the welfare office crying because the welfare worker told me I made $200 over the maximum income amount to qualify for Foodstamps.

I remember crying to my supervisor because I was too messed up to get back to work that day. I remember feeling so overwhelmed because I came face to face that I was not able to literally put food on the table for my daughter.

I remember spending the majority of my check to pay my rent, driving over 100 miles per day to get back and forth to work, spending all I had on gas, and not having enough money left over to give anything to my children. After working so many years in the administrative field, I had hit an earning level plateau. There was no way I was going to be able to keep up with the average standard of living while watching my earnings potential steadily dwindle.
I Stopped Believing

Did I stop believing when I moved back home with my godmother and tried to go back to school to discover I was not cut out to be a nurse? Did I stop believing when she kicked us out because she was so overwhelmed with life herself?

Maybe I stopped believing a year or so later, after sending my daughter away, sleeping in my car and shelters and finally trying to take my own life. Yes, it had to be the moment I felt all alone in the world, homeless and penniless. That was the moment when I determined life was no longer worth living.

For years, in the midst of all my turmoil, I tried to keep believing. I believed…things would get better. I believed…in God’s mercy and grace. I believed…in miracles. But as the years wore on and on, my belief began to dwindle.

I Believed I was a Failure

At that point, something subtle began to happen. I didn’t stop believing but I began forming new beliefs. I began to believe…I can’t make it. I began to believe…nothing works out for me no matter how hard I try. I began to believe…I am disabled and I need to accept that I will never achieve much out of my life. I believed…it was okay to stop trying to achieve anything.

So I became aimless, without direction and without hope. My life became meaningless and to me worthless. My only ambition was to stay alive until my daughter graduated high school and do my best to keep a roof over her head.

As I drifted in this empty space something profound happened to me. I don’t know if it was my own silent prayers, some subconscious inner yearning or divine appointment but I read an email from Natalie Gouche, Social Media Mogul, someone I had been following online and admired very much. In that email, she explained how I could supplement my income by blogging.

I did not have the $25 to start blogging but I determined within myself as soon as I did, I would get started. Did I have a glimmer of hope? Not really, because I still did not believe. For me, I was just fishing, not even wishing. I had forgotten how to wish and I had forgotten how to dream.

Listening to the Calls

Once I joined Natalie and scraped up $25 bucks, I was amazed at all the training I received. I immediately began to immerse myself in the training. Little did I know, right there, I was developing a new skill…FOCUS. The training was really good and it actually helped me accomplish in one month with my blog, what I had been trying to accomplish for years. In a couple days I had a blog with banner advertisements, a mailing list, and had begun my first video marketing campaign.

I also began listening to the conference calls. Listening to the calls was a game changer for me. It was during those conference calls that my mind began to shift and I began to identify what had happened to me. How my beliefs had changed and how I stopped believing in myself. In order for me to get out of the rut I was in, I was going to have to believe my way out. I was going to have to have the faith that I could do things differently, with more focus and direction.

Listening to the calls, was like being in the ring with my trainer in my corner, telling me to get back up and come back swinging. Get back in the fight and punch the lights out of struggle, punch the lights out of defeat, punch the lights out of every obstacle that wanted to stand between me and my dream!

Video Marketing

What really helped me to believe in myself again was making my first YouTube video. I have always suffered from anxiety and making my first video was extremely hard, but I knew I was not doing it alone. I knew there were thousands of other team members with me going through the exact same thing and they were doing it. I watched their videos, some of them good, some not so good, but I knew I had to throw my hat in the ring. I knew I had to face my fears if I ever expected to move forward with my life. Little did I know that making that decision would turn my entire life around!

It was not long before I took off and I was shooting 3-4 videos per day. My confidence went up with each video as I replayed them over and over again, seeing how much I had developed. I received a tremendous amount of support from team-members, Facebook friends, and YouTube subscribers. My videos were actually helping people overcome their own fears and inspiring them to push beyond their own unbelief.

Through their love and support, my new found ability to focus, and reaffirming a new belief in myself and my abilities, for the first time I began to intelligently believe in me!

Believe in You

Please listen to me for a minute. For those of us who got lost in life, who lost our sense of purpose, and ultimate lost our hope, this message is for you. Our whole lives we were told to believe in everything outside of ourselves. Things that we were powerless to control. The only thing that we can control in life is ourselves, so why not believe in that?

Believing in yourself is not a dirty word. I remember my dad told me before he died, you have to stop giving God credit for everything in your life, you have accomplished certain things and you have to give some credit to yourself. I thought being lowly and not taking credit was the humble response but I finally had to understand that I was unable to love my neighbor, because I didn’t love myself. I was unable to help my neighbor because I couldn’t help myself. The one obstacle that stood between me and loving anyone was my own belief.

If you want to get out of the rut that you are in, there is only one thing that you have to do, believe in you! God loves you no matter what, even if you do not believe in yourself. You have been giving everything that you need to succeed in life, but you have to believe in you!

Don’t believe that this thing is going to work. Don’t believe that some miracle is going to happen and everything is going to work out. But rather, believe that you are a miracle. That you are special and add value to the world. Believe that you have been given a gift to share and to not share your gift would be cheating the world and the powerful force that created you to be present on this earth and help raise it a higher appreciation of itself!

I believe again and it has been such a powerful transformation. My life makes sense again. I have come to know my purpose and it is simple. Love myself, believe in myself, and share my gift with the world. My gift is to show you how to believe in you again!

Author's Bio: 

Michelle Collier is a Professional Blogger and Motivational Speaker with the Empower Network, a Self Development Training Program and Viral Blogging System. To Learn More about Miss Collier and the Empower Network, Visit her blog at: