How To Make The Bond Of Marriage Stronger: Building A Strong Marriage Foundation

How To Make The Bond Of Marriage Stronger: Building A Strong Marriage Foundation

Nobody marries to have a miserable time, we are all looking for our, and they lived happily ever after. I think that it doesn't matter how long you have been married, there is always something that you can do to make yourself a better husband or wife. Our life experiences keep changing us, we mature and our understanding of life grows, and as our understanding grows, then we are more able to understand what we can do to make the bond of marriage stronger.

A great to make you bond of marriage stronger is to create a shared vision of the future. Both of you need to have similar ideas as to how the marriage should progress, and what you are looking to achieve. To give it that feeling of continuity and permanence come up with some joint goals that you can work towards. There are basic goals such as where to live and when to start a family, you can easily come up with some that are based on your own circumstances. Every time you achieve a goal set a new one, that way you are always looking and working to the future, and it leaves you with the sense that you will always be together.

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Both of you have your own wants and needs, and it is up to your spouse to help fulfill them for you. Problems occur when one or both of you become overly reliant on just your spouse to fulfil all you needs. One person cannot do everything for you. Before you married you had your own lives, friends and interests, it made you who you are. Just because you get married, it doesn't mean that you have to cut your old life of completely, if anything, it is important to maintain it, because it made you the unique individual that your spouse fell in love with. Whilst you are a couple it is important to maintain your individuality, it makes you more interesting, it helps you to develop as person, it also gives you plenty to talk about.

When you settle into marriage you will become used to each other, the newness and excitement can fade, you can settle into safe but dull routines, and you start taking each other for granted. If you start taking each other for granted then resentment can build, which if not dealt with could destroy your marriage. So be happy that you have each other, give each other the respect that you deserve, and be considerate about them.

You make your bond of marriage stronger when you spend quality time together, doing things that you both enjoy, searching out new experiences together, learning to enjoy being in each others company. Now I don't have to tell you that finding the time to be together can be difficult, especially when you have kids. If you synchronize your schedules you can find time, if you have kids I'm certain that you have some relatives who would love to see them. Spending time together is not just something that it's nice to do, it's a non-negotiable necessity for building a healthy marriage. Even if you just go for a cup of coffee, you need time to be a husband and wife.

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You will always be your parents children. When you have children of you own you will always be Mom and Dad. You will have friends that you are a friend to. And then there are the two of you, you are the marriage, without you it doesn't exist. You are a new family unit and as such your spouse has priority over your parents and your kids. You could be together for decades, people will enter and leave your life, and at the end of it all there will just be the two of you. If you want to make the bond of marriage stronger, then you have to put each other first.

You have to work at connecting both emotionally and physically. On the emotional level you need to find out what makes your spouse tick, what makes them happy and appreciated. You need to be able to understand their feelings and offer them the help and support that they need. You have to be able to open yourself up to your partner to the point that you could become vulnerable. Being this open allows you to build a high level of trust in your spouse and lets you build a very close relationship. The physical side of connecting is just as import as communication and emotions, it is the power of touch that can made a good marriage into something special. You need to work at creating a high level of intimacy, this is not just about sex, it is about holding your spouses hand, hugging them and kissing them, let them know that you love and care for them. Once the kids come along it can be hard to find intimate moments, but I'm sure that you'll try.

Do what you can to make your partner happy. It doesn't have to be an extravagant gesture, helping a spouse with their chores, or leaving a card that says how much you love and care for them can mean so. A gesture that comes from the heart is always worth much more than something that was bought.

And finally comes communication without which none of the above can happen. With communication you talk, you listen, and you learn how to read your spouses body language. Without communication your marriage would not just be unbelievably boring, it would be non-existent. Communication is what binds you together and if you are serious about strengthening your bond then you need to work at your communication skills. Talking lets you into each others lives and enables you to share the good times and the bad. Communication lets you come together when times are bad and can help you to stand up to the very worst that life can throw at you, and still keep you standing strong together. Marriages start struggling once the communication goes, so keep talking.

How to make the bond of marriage stronger? That's easy, you just both need to commit to creating the best possible marriage that you can.

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If you're trying to figure out how to save a marriage, it could be that you've got some built up resentment that is proving hard to get rid of. This happens in marriage quite a bit since living with someone for years and years can be tough. But wouldn't you rather get rid of all that resentment and be happy in your marriage again?

How to Save a Marriage By Letting Go of Resentment Toward Your Spouse...

One of the problems with a marriage is that we're in a "in it together" sort of situation. This means that all the circumstances of our lives are played out by joint choices and circumstances. So a lot of resentment comes out of the fact one spouse's life (or both) hasn't played out the way they wanted it to, and therefore the other spouse is blamed for that. Is that fair to the other spouse?

Well obviously not, but it's also hard not to blame someone else when you've usually compromised on choices. One way or the other something isn't going to work out for one person right?

But the fact is that if we want to get rid of this resentment and learn how to save a marriage then we've got to realize that most of the things that are going wrong in our lives and marriage are just as much our fault as it is your spouse. For instance my wife and I live in a town closer to her parents than my parents house. Therefore her parents get to see the kids much more often than mine just out of convenience. Doesn't seem fair either right?

However, if I dig a little deeper then I could have certainly fought a little harder to move closer to my parents. In actuality it was the fact that my job at the time was closer to where we live now, so that was a huge part of the decision as well. Not to mention that very often the kids see her parents more because I enjoy going out and have no problem sending the kids there for babysitters when it suits me. So I'm just as guilty as she is when you look at it that way aren't I?

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Of course I am. Now I realize that this is a minor example but it's sometimes the minor things that make a huge difference, and when let top simmer can end up being pretty intense. Other things are bigger problems. Maybe one spouse decided to give up working or give up some close friends of the opposite sex in order to make the marriage a happier and less volatile place. Again fair? Should one spouse have to give up a career or friends?

Well no, you shouldn't have to, but if that's what you agreed upon and that's how it's been, then you really can't justify blaming anyone but yourself for it down the road. You ultimately are still responsible for the choices that you make, or let be made for you. If it's a big deal then you should simply fight harder on a compromise for it...because if not then you've given up that aspect of it didn't you?

You did for what at one time was a bigger cause, or a more important cause, so now resenting anyone for that decision is simply hindsight and no one is to blame but you for allowing that decision to be made for you. But it's sometimes hard to look at this way right?

Well don't forget that there are no hard and steady rules for marriage really. Things can be re-negotiated, things can change in order to roll with new circumstances and that's often how to save a marriage very quickly...by renewing and reassessing circumstances and agreements.

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Do you know anyone who has gotten a divorce? Perhaps your parents or in-laws or sibling has had the unfortunate experience of divorcing. As a child of divorced parents I can tell you that it takes a big toll on the family. My mother passed away at the tender age of 33 partly I say do to the stress in her life after the divorce. I'm not saying your life will take such an unfortunate turn but are you looking out for signs that your marriage is in trouble?

Ok, there are some folks who clearly see signs of trouble in their marriage but they choose to ignore them. For example, if a couple hasn't been intimate once in the bedroom over the last year then more than likely, unless there is a medical issue, there is a problem in the marriage.

Another problem that couples overlook at times is an inappropriate relationship with members of the opposite sex. A spouse saying "We are just friends" is an excuse for "I want to be intimate with my friend of the opposite sex". If that's not the case then your friendship and feelings should be more important than a friendship your spouse has with anyone else.

Now there are some less than obvious signs your marriage is in trouble that you need to be mindful of.

7 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble

1. You find it more and more difficult to forgive your spouse. What happens in many marriages is that past offenses are never truly forgiven and what you end up with is bitterness and resentment. The problems of today get lumped in with unresolved past problems and you end up carrying anger and negative thoughts and feelings toward your spouse.

2. You decide to stop sharing your thoughts, feelings and dreams with your spouse because you feel that's it's a waste of your time.

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3. You find yourself being very critical of your spouse and have no problem letting him or her and everyone else know about his flaws and mistakes.

4. You find reasons and excuses to not spend time with your spouse. Anything and everything takes a priority over spending time with the love of your life.

5. You are coping with your spouse and the marriage troubles by over extending yourself in areas such as work, church and leisure activities to bring peace and happiness to your life.

6. You take no interest any longer in encouraging your spouse. In fact, you find yourself at times making sarcastic or hurtful comments, and rather enjoy it.

7. You tune out your spouse when he or she tries to talk about your marriage problems.

You might be dealing with some of the problems above or you might have some different ones you are experiencing. Regardless of the problems you are facing in your marriage, they can be overcome. I hope you believe this.

Paying attention to the signs of life is what helps most of us avoid problems and pitfalls. Signs are needed to help steer us in the right direction and in marriage can help couples honor their vows of loving in sickness and in health until death do they part.

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Can separation help your marriage? If you're asking this question, either your spouse suggested it to you; or you thought about it because your marriage isn't going very well and you want to fix things. Regardless of what the situation is, here is the answer.

In short, the answer to "can separation help your marriage" is Yes. It can help your marriage - in fact, I personally know many couples for which the trial separation was the first step towards reconciliation and a happy marriage. However, for it to "work", you must first understand what makes it "work" so you can better utilize it.

The number one problem with all marriages is that couples don't appreciate each other any more. Being around someone all the time can really cause you to stop appreciating them - this is true for both husbands and wives. It has two very negative effects:

1. When you stop appreciating someone, you don't want them as much

2. When you realize your partner stopped appreciating you, the marriage makes you feel "worthless", and you don't want it to continue

Those are the most common real reasons of divorce. So, here is how a trial separation can help things.

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For both you and your spouse, a trial separation will be a true wake-up call - it will be a simulation of how life will be without the other. It will instantly have a very powerful effect of making both sides realize how much they meant for each other - they just weren't aware of this before.

So, can separation help your marriage? Yes. However, in some cases, if you do the wrong things it might end up hurting the marriage. For example, during the separation if you feel like "your spouse has forgotten you" and panic and call them, it will effectively negate the effect of the separation on your spouse.

The point is that they should miss you, and they should appreciate you. If you call them and show your "weak" side, you are only supporting the continued existence of the problem of "being taken for granted"; which is exactly what you are fighting against when you want a separation to help your marriage.

Bottom line is, a separation can be a blessing for many marriages. If you think things are going bad, and especially if you think you are being taken for granted, it can be the solution for your marriage.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.