A first date is an important step in the process of interacting romantically with another person. And good conversation is the fundamental ingredient to a good date.

You may have been led to believe that the key to dating success is to look good or be famous or have lots of money. It is true that these factors do play a role, but it is a minute one in comparison with the role of good conversation skills.

As a coach, I often help people to improve the way they make conversation, and come across as confident, authentic and charismatic. In my experience, improving your conversation skills will boost your dating life more than any other single factor.

A crucial conversational point is the first date. Weather you’re a man or a woman, if you can make good first date conversation, you’ll find it a lot easier to impress and have persons of the opposite sex chasing after you.

There are many ideas you can apply to make good first date conversation, but only a small number of them will help you notably. I am going to share two such ideas with you.

Focus On Getting To Know Each Other

I think many individuals make a huge mistake on a first date, by obsessively focusing on finding ways to impress the other person. They’ll watch and try to adjust their every gesture and every word, in order to astonish their date.

Unfortunately, this method typically backfires, because it gets them in their head and ends up making them nervous. The other person becomes aware of this and she or he will not be impressed. When a person is overanalyzing their conduct during a date, it makes the date feel really awkward.

Then another segment of people make the opposite mistake of acting like they’re harshly evaluating the other person during the date. They come off like a teacher trying to grade a student, and so the other person starts feeling the way a student might feel: nervous.

My advice is to take the pressure off both you and your date. Don’t make your encounter about either one of you impressing the other person. Instead, make the date about getting to know each other.

Ask the other person questions and be curios, without bombarding them with questions. Talk about yourself as well and self-disclose. Make the date a mater of discovering if you have a natural compatibility with the other person or not. Either way is fine.

Keep It Light and Fun

Although a first date is an opportunity for two individuals to get to know each other, you generally don’t want to become very intrusive. Talk about light topics and ease into the conversation.

I think it’s usually a good idea to start the conversation on topics such as traveling, hobbies, favorite music, books etc. Don’t go digging into the fears or drama the other person may have had in their life.

See the first date as an initial step in a longer journey. There is no need to rush into it. If this first date goes well, you can go into deeper topics of conversation on a second date. For now, keep it light and enjoy yourself.

At the end of the day, being open, self-amusing and not too intrusive is one of the best ways to connect with the other person during a date, and make the best out of your interaction.

Author's Bio: 

Eduard Ezeanu helps people achieve social success. If this article was helpful, also find out how to start a conversation and learn how to make small talk from two first-class articles on his social skills coaching blog.