How To Keep My Husband And I From Drifting Apart In Our Marriage: How To Check Back Into Your Marriage

How To Keep My Husband And I From Drifting Apart In Our Marriage: How To Check Back Into Your Marriage

I wonder how many wives struggle each day with the thought "how do I keep my husband and I from drifting apart in our marriage?" It's a very important question to be answered and can make all the difference between growing old together or drifting apart and ending your marriage down the road when you realize you have very little in common anymore.

Signs That Indicate You Might Be "Drifting Apart" From Your Husband

• You don't care about improving your marriage as much as you used to.

• It doesn't bother you when your husband finds ways to keep himself occupied without involving you.
• Taking a vacation without your husband is more enjoyable than taking one with him.
• You are always in a better mood when your husband is not around.
• There is hardly any fun or enjoyable time together.
• The numbers of times you are intimate keep drifting farther and farther apart.
• You don't feel like you would be devastated if your marriage ended.

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Now, as you know, all marriages have periods of drifting apart and periods of closeness. One of the keys to keep you and your husband from drifting too far apart is making sure you don't lose sight of what it takes to keep your relationship going strong.

The problem I find with a lot of couples is that after the first few years when the thrill and excitement of love is dwindling down, they start to invest time and energy in work and family. This allows the couples to ignore the drifting apart issue in their marriage because they are sacrificing their relationship for the good of the family. Unfortunately, the habit of not spending much time improving the marriage results in drifting apart.

How To Keep From Drifting Apart In Your Marriage

• Make improving your marriage a daily item on your to-do list.
• Don't continue actions or activities that feed the drifting apart in your marriage.
• Get a sense of urgency about your marriage and let your husband feel it as well.
• Fall in-love with your husband all over again and make him fall head over heals for you again.
• Find a hobby or leisure activity that you both enjoy doing and schedule to do it on a regular basis. If you have to do something you hate doing, just do it, if it will help keep you from drifting apart.
• Make a plan to succeed and not drift apart without doing anything to save your marriage.

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I never thought that I would perceive myself as a stupid husband simply because I was having a troubled marriage that needed fixing - but I did.

But really, I was rightfully called an idiot because of the way I allowed my marriage to slide out of control.

I admit that I have made many mistakes in my marriage.

The Mistakes I Made to Create a Troubled Marriage...

At first, these mistakes were all petty and trivial. The mistakes I made were indeed those mistakes that you really wouldn't label as a big deal. Thinking that I was not really committing major sins against my wife, I kept on repeating the same mistakes. That was when my wife decided that I was becoming worse. Then came the time when she started hating me for what I had become.

I know now that I was a pretty bad example of a spouse. I had hurt and neglected my wife's feelings and these were only some of the mistakes that I was making in my marriage.

But still, even with these realizations, I found it hard to stop the cycle and to be a good husband to her. It reached a point when my wife almost decided to leave me. She says that she could not take it anymore, and that she wanted a divorce. I was appalled.

On the other hand, I think that what she did was also a good thing because that had also been my wake-up call. I knew then that I had to change myself and fix a troubled marriage, or else I would really lose my wife.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

It was not easy for me to accept my mistakes, but it was a great first step to changing me from the person that I had become to a husband that can really be called a partner.

The first thing I did was to accept the fact that I had to turn my life around in order to convince my wife that I was really a changed man and not the stupid husband that I had been acting like.

I did this by looking into the situation and trying to seek out help from other people. I was well aware that many other couples were having marriage trouble and that there were some specialists who had expertise on these matters.

I was trying my best to find someone who could help me out in my troubled marriage; someone who could help me win back the lost love and affection that my wife used to have for me. Luckily, I was able to find some books and online materials, which led me to a change of heart and a renewed sense of what I really wanted: I wanted a happy and fruitful relationship with my wife again.

Upon the discovery that I could get help if I looked for it, and that I could make things work to my advantage, I decided to change ME. I changed my mindset and I learned to veer away from the things that made my wife turn away from me in the first place. This wasn't all that easy at first, in fact it was a pretty difficult thing for me...and both of us really.

But I finally got the hang of it. On her part, my wife decided to give me another chance when she realized that I was serious about making amends. She also stared to look at things that she could change to fix a troubled marriage that we had created.

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Nobody when they get married expects there to be any problems, but the happen all the same. It is so easy to take your marriage for granted and slip into some twilight zone of an existence, problems slip in and are ignored up until the point that they break your relationship. Or maybe you have reached the state where both of you know that there is a problem but you are waiting for your partner to make the first move, at the same time, your partner is waiting for you to make the first move, and all the time the atmosphere is getting frostier and frostier. Would you say that this could be a good time to fix your marriage?

O.K, so you have made a mistake, are partly responsible for something, have said something hurtful in the heat of the moment or can see a problem looming. Why wait for your partner to make the first move, as soon as you see something wrong then get in there and sort it. Where necessary apologize, take responsibility for your personal actions. Sorry is such a powerful word, but if you have said it once too often then you are going to have to back up your words with actions and restore your partners faith in you. You are one equal half of your relationship, you have to take responsibility for keeping it on track, strong and happy.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

At some point you will have to deal with problems, and like it or not there will be problems. You may be a married couple but you are still two distinct individuals, each with your own needs and emotions and at some point what each of you wants will conflict with what the other wants. Whatever you do, do not have a screaming match or play the blame game, that is a pointless exercise, it gets you nowhere and is likely to make the situation worse. Sit down like two adults and discuss your problems calmly and rationally. Do not try to cover everything at once, take one problem at a time and find a solution that is best for both of you. You are no longer out to do what is best for I, you need to do what is best for US.

The one thing that can really de-rail your marriage is when you stop communicating with other. When you first started out together you talked then, shared what was happening in your lives, your hopes, your dreams? Just because your are married does not mean that you have to stop all that, if anything it is vital that you still keep talking. If you want to fix your marriage you need to recapture that buzz that you had when first dating. When you talk and share what is happening in each others lives it brings you closer and strengthens your relationship. Sharing your thoughts and emotions will help your partner to understand you far better. Be open, honest and respectful, if you have something to say then say it, do not drop some vague hint that might not even be noticed and then sulk about being ignored. When you are communicating it is far easier to notice potential problems which can be dealt with far easier than if you leave them to ferment.

In order to fix your marriage and keep your relationship alive you have to spend quality time, together. If you have kids then get Grandparents or Aunts & Uncles to look after them, ideally once a week. You need it just to be the two of you and only about the two of you. Do not forget, you will hopefully be with each other for decades so does it not make sense to reinforce your bond and enjoy each other company? Go on dates, romantic vacations, a walk in the park or just curl up in front of the T.V together. Find interests that you can share, do new things together. I guess that I should say that this advice does come with a warning, if you do everything that I have said, you just might find that you start enjoying life together.

It does not take much to create a happy and fulfilling relationship, the trick is to do it every day for the rest of your lives. Good luck to you both and I hope that everything works out well for you.

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Your husband says he is not in love anymore. It broke your heart and your spirit when you heard him say it. You don't know how it happened or what the future holds for you now. All you do know is that the one man you truly adore in the world doesn't love you the way he used to. Your initial thought may be that the only thing left to do is file for divorce. Before you take that drastic step, stop and consider whether it may be worthwhile to work on the relationship. Even though he's said now that he doesn't care for you the way he once did, it doesn't mean that you can't rekindle those feelings. You can and you may be surprised to learn that you can actually create a new love with him that is stronger than either of you ever imagined was possible.

If your husband says he is not in love anymore consider the fact that he could be speaking to you from a place of boredom and uncertainty. What happens in many marriages is the couple begins to drift apart emotionally and physically because they have so many outside things to tend to. Those things generally include work, the children and even tending to things around the house. Eventually the couple feels so disconnected that one or both of them think they've fallen out of love. That may not be the case at all.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Talk to your husband openly about what he feels. If he tells you that he really does feel that he's come to a place where he's not close to you anymore, explain that you want to give the marriage one more try. Be honest and genuine when you do this but try your best to remain calm. You don't want him to have to deal with an overly emotional wife who is on the cusp of begging him to stay with her. Present yourself as a calm woman who is in control of her emotions and he'll respect you for it.

You need to start showing your husband just how much you value and love him. Think back to when you two first got married and how you treated him like the treasure he was. Do that again now. Make time to spend with him and ensure that you tell him each day why you love him so much. He may seem cold and distant at first, but it will impact him in time and he'll start to open back up.

The thing that men crave from their wives is validation as men. He wants to know that you think he is the most amazing man you've ever met. Tell him that and stop nagging him if that's become par for the course in your relationship. If he feels better about himself when he's around you, he'll feel instantly closer to you.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.