How to Have Good Manners

It is the manners which separate the man from the animals. In fact the word ‘manner’ is derived from ‘man’. That means it is a basic trait of the man. A person without manners can hardly deserve to be called a human being. No one likes the company of such a person, and gradually he is isolated and becomes aloof in the society.

Manners are not what you say or do under the arc light. It is the reflection of the behaviour with others. Good manners are the backbone of the society. They are essential for social life and individual peace and comfort. To behave, speak and act politely and in right manner constitute good manners. John Vance Cheney once remarked, “the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears”.

Sympathy, love and kindness towards the fellow beings are important prerequisites for everyone. It is not enough to contain these feelings in one’s heart but also express love and respect for others. Thinking about other’s feelings is great and to express them in a proper manner is even greater. This is where good manners are involved.

When someone hurts you and does not apologize, it is a bad manner. One can cover up his mistake by expressing his realization and genuinely saying, ‘I am sorry’. In this manner one avoids bitterness, confrontation and quarrels. In other words, he becomes likable and amicable. According to Gardiner, ‘Please and Thank you are small changes with which we pay our way back as social being”. It keeps the machine of the life running smoothly. Sir, Madam, Dear, Sorry, Please, Excuse me, Thank you’ etc. are some words which should be used in daily conversation. Speak softly, sweetly, and appropriately, without hurting the feelings of others.

Good Manners go with the action. They add charm to man’s personality. If a person is kind, courteous, polite and helpful towards others, he is liked. He commands respect from others. From what we get we can make living; what we give, however, makes a life. Besides cooperation, sympathetic attitude and tolerance, one should be a good listener.

This is a trait which is often forgotten. For this one should control and restrain himself from being talkative. Self-control and restraint are corner stones of good manners. Good manners cannot be borrowed but are to be developed through one’s own behavior. They work like a lubricant in running the life smoothly.

Good manners do not mean to be always sweet and sugary with everyone. One should be honest and give a frank opinion. However, healthy criticism should always be sandwiched between two layers of praise.