How To Conquer Any Addiction

I may be the foremost stop smoking expert in the world. I've quit like five times now. It reminds me of the days when I used to watch WWE wrestling. Six time world champion? That means that the belt was also lost that many times, it was surrendered and won again. I don't know that I can give anyone a definitive answer to permanent victory but I can tell you what has helped me again and again beat my addictions and I have had many of them.

Let's just start by saying, "Hi my name is Dean and I'm an addict." If you have ever heard such a thing spoken than you have probably met lots of good people just like myself in a 12-step environment. Eventually I found a gentleman that made it much more simplistic, at least for my taste. I'm going to get to his approach in a bit because it made it much easier for me, however, I am getting ahead of myself. First I need you to understand who I am.

I have been addicted to almost everything under the sun in my life. I have a very addictive personality. I have been a workaholic. I have been addicted to alcohol and drugs. I've been addicted to slow pitch softball. I have been an overeater. Problem gambling was right up my alley. Internet gaming and facebook addictions are both part of my checkered past. I have delved into the seriously unhealthy depths of sexual and relationship addictions. I could go on and on. Not all of my addictions have been as unhealthy but I am very prone to be addictive and totally obsessive. For instance, I spent some time cracking a code that I hold secret to this day. I don't necessarily use this information but I am a certified expert race handicapper. Why? Because I became totally obsessed with the idea of studying the trends and data and didn't quit until I cracked the code. Among other things I am a mathematical genius. Seriously I've been tested. I'm an odd duck for sure.

When I first heard the concept of a "God-sized hole" in Narcotics Anonymous I could definitely relate. On the right day I could fill that hole with excessive pepperoni pizza, lots of sex, or just a whole bunch of chemicals. It didn't matter to me, I just had to have something to fill that hole. At times my writing became the crutch. I have written so much drug induced poetry in my lifetime. If I could carry a single note I would have been bigger than Morrison, Hendrix, and Lennon combined. OK that may be a stretch but there is a lot of stuff floating around out there with my name on it. Don't be shocked if some of it resurfaces some day. *knocks on wood*

I definitely understand the void or "God-sized hole" that twelve step programs revealed to me. My biggest problem was that I was AN ADDICT and the addiction really transcended all of these programs. I could stop smoking weed in a second, if you would just allow me to buy more beer. I wouldn't need cigarettes at all, if I could just get more sex. OK, enough of talking about all of that stuff, because like any recovering addict, I need to stay away from "Mr. Jones." In fact, I understand that so much that I just removed a few select adjectives out of the previous paragraphs. Yeah that's right I just made my writing more boring because I totally understand the danger of graphic images to an addict. As if it could get any more boring? Oh yeah, I'm also a mind reader and you should be ashamed right now.

So how do you conquer addiction rather than doing what most addicts do and simply change addictions quicker than we change underwear? The twelve steps will work but if you do the 12 steps I suggest Narcotics Anonymous and I suggest working with a sponsor who is totally willing to talk about all of your addictions, and not just the meth (or whatever your d.o.c. is). Most people are more than simple drug addicts. Most of us carry more baggage than that.

Addiction is a disease that has nothing to do with drugs. Addiction is a disease shared by people who are in love with the idea of INSTANT GRATIFICATION. When one of your triggers is present you have to have it now. It can be your coffee or your internet dating site but you have to have it NOW.

Addictions throw our lives, and the lives of those around us, totally out of balance. That is not a good thing. OK I've rambled long enough. Sorry about that but the people at Google don't score your content well for search engine optimization unless your articles are 400 words or more. That works well for me because I'm long winded. Actually I might have made that up. Did I mention that my brain tends to take it's own alternate routes sometimes? Note to self: stay on topic.

About eight years ago I was struggling in the grips of serious addiction. It was life threatening at the time though I'm not sure I realized it. I was on the internet and downloaded an E-Book about addiction. I can't remember the name of the book or the author but I remember that I read like 50 pages that all taught one simple concept (and you think I am long winded?).

Here it goes. I'm about to save you like $25 that I paid for this e-book. Addiction in its purest form is running from fear. You can phrase it however you want to but the world convergence of shrinks has declared this to be true. An addict is just doing what they do to escape from fear, anxiety, guilt, or whatever... Addiction is running away. So keep it simple. Don't overcomplicate it. OK?

OK, so this guy goes on for 50 pages about how beating addiction is simple. You are going to run either way because that's what addictive personalities do, but it's about running in the right direction. So you simply make a choice to RUN TOWARD GLORY AND HONOR instead of running away from DOUBT, SHAME, AND FEAR.

Every human should be so lucky to have that "light bulb" moment and reading this little book was mine. The guy rambled for 50 or more pages, just like I am rambling now. Addicts do that. But in the end it was simply about moving toward what I deserved and away from what was beneath me. It was a choice and for the first time in years I felt empowered and in control of my own destiny.

It really is that simple. You can not necessarily control your chemical make up but you can control what you do with it through simple decisions. Ever since I read that little book I have been able to quit any addiction I had--cold turkey. I might whine like a baby when I go through withdrawal but I can do it. I haven't necessarily been able to keep addictions from creeping up on me again because that is how I roll. But when they take hold of me, and I realize they are there I can walk away without a problem.

I simply made a decision that I didn't care what people thought of me, I wanted to be proud of myself. Your reason for quitting has to be bigger than your reason for continuing. By the way...Don't go there! Don't give me that lame answer about you wanting to quit smoking for your kids. B.S. Addicts are selfish. I know you love your kids but your own needs always come first. If you can admit that then you can beat this thing. If you can't then you will stay sick. You are selfish and your own needs come first.

So that's why people can't quit, in my humble opinion. They make it about their families and other external sources. If it can't be about you and FOR YOU then it just won't work. If you can not accept that you deserve better then you won't make it.

It's a simple decision that you can make today. Today I am making the decision to stop running from who I was and start running toward who I want to be. You deserve better my friend.