How To Be Blissfully (or at least Reasonably) Happy At Work

Brad Yates
www.tapwithbrad.com

The ultimate goal in life is to feel good – to be happy. And since most of us are going to spend a great deal of our lives at work (even those of us who work from home), it would be great if we could allow ourselves to be happier at work.

Unfortunately, work often tends to be one of our greatest sources of stress. Many of us have been programmed to expect that, perhaps even believing that “if you aren’t experiencing stress, you aren’t working hard enough.” This is not an ideal mindset.

According to the National Mental Health Association, stress ranks among the top three workplace problems for employee assistance professionals. Other studies by health organizations indicate that job stress increases the risk for development of an assortment of health concerns, including back pain, heart attacks, cancer, ulcers, and impaired immune function.

It’s not great for our emotional well-being either, and can contribute to issues such as depression and tension in our personal relationships. But most of don’t even need to hear it from the experts – we know all too well from personal experience that job stress is a serious problem.

There may be many things about your work that cause emotional and/or physical discomfort, but for the sake of simplicity, let’s break it down to two categories: 1) the work itself and 2) the environment in which you work – which may primarily be about the other people involved.

What we think is bothering us is only on the surface. When we look deeper, we may find that there is something else going on – generally a fear, and perhaps a feeling that the situation means something upsetting about us.

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
― Charles R. Swindoll

Because of this, we can reduce at least 90% of our stress. :)

Stress caused by the work

1. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about your job.
2. Following your breath through your body, notice what you feel… both physically and emotionally.
3. Identify what thoughts, beliefs, experiences might cause discomfort. List as many as you can think of.
4. Ask yourself on a scale of 0-10 how stressful each of these are.
5. Use the answers to form set-up phrases, and start tapping.

It may help to use a chart like this (with example included):

What bothers me Why does it bother me How much
I don’t have enough time Stress, pressure, feelings of inferiority, fear I’ll be fired 8
Performance anxiety when I have to make a presentation Fear that I’ll fail/
embarrass myself 9
Can’t let it go/always taking it home with me (literally and/or mentally) I need time for myself – it’s interfering with my life 7
It’s boring Feeling I should be doing something else 5

Use your answers to create a tapping round, such as:

SH: Even though I don’t have enough time, I choose to love and accept myself.
Even though I don’t have enough time, I choose to love and honor myself.
Even though I don’t have enough time, I choose to love, honor and accept myself.

EB: I don’t have enough time.
SE: I have too much to do and not enough time.
UE: I’m going to fail.
UN: I’m going to get fired.
UM: I choose to clear that fear.
CB: I’m doing the best I can.
UA: I can’t get stressed enough to create more time.
TH: I choose to relax so I can think more clearly.

Take a deep breath (and maybe a drink of water).

Also tap on whatever thoughts come up.

Stress caused by the work environment

1. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about your job.
2. Following your breath through your body, notice what you feel… both physically and emotionally.
3. Identify what thoughts, beliefs, experiences might cause discomfort. List as many as you can think of.
4. Ask yourself on a scale of 0-10 how stressful each of these are.
5. Use the answers to form set-up phrases, and start tapping.

It may help to use a chart like this (with example included):

What bothers me Why does it bother me How much
Bob doesn’t carry his weight I’m stuck doing both our jobs and don’t have enough time - stress 5
My boss doesn’t value me Triggers feelings of inferiority 7
Sally in accounting is so rude I feel bullied/inferior 6
My office is stuffy I’m uncomfortable/worry about my health/feelings that I’m not allowed to ask for changes to be made 4

Use your answers to create a tapping round, such as:

SH: Even though Sally is rude to me, I choose to love and accept myself.
Even though Sally is rude to me, I choose to love and honor myself.
Even though Sally is rude to me, I choose to love, honor and accept myself.

EB: Sally is so rude to me.
SE: She is such a bully.
UE: She makes me feel like I do everything wrong.
UN: She must be pretty unhappy.
UM: And she can’t make me feel anything without my permission.
CB: I choose to clear this discomfort.
UA: I choose to feel more confident.
TH: In body, mind and spirit.

Take a deep breath (and maybe a drink of water).

SH: Even though the office is stuffy, I choose to love and accept myself.
Even though the office is stuffy, I choose to love and honor myself.
Even though the office is stuffy, I choose to love, honor and accept myself.

EB: the office is stuffy.
SE: it’s uncomfortable spending time there.
UE: is there nothing that can be done about it?
UN: Why don’t I do something about it?
UM: What might I be afraid of?
CB: I choose to clear that fear.
UA: I choose to feel more comfortable.
TH: In body, mind and spirit.

Take a deep breath (and maybe a drink of water).

Also tap on whatever thoughts come up.

Setting boundaries – self-care

While tapping can help us shift our attitude such that factors at work are less stressful, the idea is not to simply use this tool to be able to muscle through situations that needn’t be tolerated. As with any situation, there’s a point at which the healthiest choice is to say, “enough is enough.” This may require taking actions that we are afraid to take, such as confronting someone, filing a complaint or even leaving the “security” of the job.

Fear of leaving job is huge for most people, but sometimes allowing ourselves to know that we could leave a troubling situation gives us the freedom to explore ways to make the situation work.

Consider your fear of taking a desired action – such as leaving a job – and notice what you feel, what thoughts come to mind, and rate the fear. Then start tapping:

SH: Even though I’m afraid to leave, I choose to love and accept myself.

It’s not that we are necessarily trying to talk ourselves into leaving, but clearing the fear and stress that clouds our judgment and makes it difficult to creatively solve problems.

Conclusion

While we may not be able to eliminate the need to work – nor would that be ideal, as part of us has a strong will to be useful – we can take action to make our work lives less stressful and more enjoyable. Even just the act of tapping will start to reduce stress, allowing more clear thinking and a greater ability to recognize what might be wrong and what can be done to correct it – which will be a win/win situation for all involved.

For additional support, the transcripts from the tapping rounds that took place in the interview are included at the end of this document.

About Brad Yates

Brad is known internationally for his creative, compassionate and often humorous use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as Tapping. He was trained and certified at the respected Hypnosis Motivation Institute, where he served on staff. Combining this background with training in energy psychology and various schools of thought in the area of personal growth and achievement, he coaches groups and individuals in achieving greater success, health and happiness in their lives.

Brad has had the privilege and pleasure of working with a diverse group of clients, from CEOs, professional athletes, and award-winning actors to clients at programs for substance abusers and homeless men and women. He has also been a presenter at a number of events, including Jack Canfield's Breakthrough to Success event, several Tapping World Summits and International Energy Psychology Conferences, and has done teleseminars with The Secret stars Bob Doyle and Dr. Joe Vitale.

Brad is the author of the bestselling children's book The Wizard's Wish, the co-author of the bestseller Freedom at Your Fingertips, and a featured expert in the film The Tapping Solution. His 500+ YouTube videos have been viewed over 10 million times. Brad is also a regular contributor on the Huffington Post.

For more information and resources, please visit www.TapWithBrad.com

Tapping Rounds for Workplace Stress

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Just follow your breath through your body and allow yourself to be aware of any stress that you might be feeling right now. For some it is going to be around deadlines and if you are already feeling stress about a job and it is not particularly about the deadline, awesome. We are going to be clearing it anyway but looking at it particularly if you have a deadline or if that is something that often comes up, allow yourself to be aware of what you feel physically, what you feel emotionally, and give yourself to be aware of any thoughts, memories, or beliefs that might come up and don’t worry about it. You don’t have to go looking for it right now, just allowing yourself to be aware of what might be present in this moment. And again, rating that stress on a scale of zero to ten, and go ahead and start tapping on the side of the hand.

Side of Hand Even though I am feeling this pressure
I choose to love and accept myself anyway
Even though I am feeling this pressure
I choose to love and honor myself anyway
Even though I am feeling this pressure
Because the clock is ticking and I am running out of time
I have too much to do and too little time to do it in
And there are going to be consequences
Even though I feel all this pressure
I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself
And maybe anyone else involved in this

Eyebrow All this pressure
Side of Eye All this stress
Under Eye All this fear of not meeting this deadline
Under Nose All this fear I am going to run out of time
Under Mouth All this fear that I am going to be in trouble
Collarbone What exactly am I afraid of?
Under arm What will the consequences be?
Top of Head And can I handle them?

EB Part of me doesn’t even want to look at that
SE Part of me just wants to be stressed
UE Because it is familiar
UN Part of me says
UM This is how I know I have taken my job seriously
CB When I am worried about the deadline
UA When I am feeling pressure
TH I am serious about my work

EB But it limits me
SE And I am using up a lot of my time
UE Worrying about not having enough time
UN And I choose to clear this fear
UM I cannot be afraid enough
CB To create more time
UA I cannot use stress
TH To turn back time

EB I am allowing myself to know
SE I am going to get done what I can get done
UE And stress isn’t going to make that any better
UN Clearing this need for stress
UM Clearing this need for this pressure
CB There may be consequences if I don’t meet this deadline
UA But I can’t feel enough stress to change that
TH This stress is just in my way

EB And I am clearing it
SE Allowing myself to think more creatively
UE Allowing myself to think more clearly
UN So whatever I do get done
UM It is the best that I can do
CB I am getting done what I can get done
UA By allowing myself to feel peace around this
TH In body, mind, and spirit

Now, take a deep breath.

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One of the most common physical effects of stress is shortness of breath and so let’s take a look at – you got to your presentation and you find yourself having trouble breathing and your heart is pounding. So we will take it from that standpoint. And again, everyone close your eyes. Take a deep breath and imagine having to give a presentation and notice what physical symptoms come up and I am going to talk about shortness of breath and you can use those words or you can say whatever your particular physical symptom is or again, whatever job stress might be coming to mind for you right now. So, side of the hand.

Side of Hand Even though I am having trouble breathing
I choose to love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I have this shortness of breath
I choose to love and honor myself anyway
Even though I have this shortness of breath
Which is going to be a real problem because I have to speak soon
And I am going to need air to do that
And even though I am feeling this stress
I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself
And anyone else contributing to this fear

Eyebrow All this shortness of breath
Side of Eye All this difficulty breathing
Under Eye All this fear in my body
Under Nose I am not even sure what I am afraid of
Under Mouth But when I have to give a presentation
Collarbone My body responds this way
Under arm My body is telling me
Top of Head This is a dangerous situation

EB You should probably leave now
SE And I can’t leave now
UE So I feel stuck with this sensation
UN And I am giving myself permission to release it
UM I am giving myself permission to breathe
CB Giving myself permission to relax
UA I can handle this
TH All these doubts that I can handle this

EB I choose to clear these doubts
SE Clearing them at a cellular level
UE Clearing them all the way back through my past
UN Back through every time in my life
UM Where I had to present something
CB Or was in a similar situation
UA And I felt it went badly
TH And there were unpleasant consequences

EB And part of me got the message
SE Don’t ever do this again
UE Try to avoid this whenever possible
UN So this shortness of breath
UM I just me reminding myself
CB That this is dangerous
UA But is it really?
TH I am still having the same old response

EB Even though I probably don’t need it
SE It is not helping me
UE I love and appreciate that part of me
UN That really is trying to protect me
UM But it outdated ways
CB I am finding a healthier response to this situation
UA I can handle this
TH I am relaxing in body, mind, and spirit

Now, take a deep breath.

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Close your eyes and take a deep breath and think of someone that you work with and that pushes your buttons. And allow yourself to notice what you feel physically and emotionally notice if thoughts and memories come up and rate your discomfort on a scale of zero to ten. And let’s go, side of the hand. I am not going to say Bob, I am just going to say, ‘This person.’

Side of Hand Even though I am so upset with this person
I choose to love and accept myself anyway
Even though I am so frustrated with this person
I choose to love and honor myself anyway
Even though this person upsets me so much
And I don’t seem to have any choice about avoiding them
This is just my cross to bear
And it’s really heavy
And even though this person really upsets me
I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself
And maybe even this person just because I choose to be that free

Eyebrow All these things this person does
Side of Eye All of their annoying behavior
Under Eye All of their frustrating behavior
Under Nose All of their hurtful behavior
Under Mouth All of these things they say
Collarbone All these things they do
Under arm All these things they don’t do
Top of Head And all of it makes my life miserable

EB This person really pushes my buttons
SE But then I have to admit
UE They are my buttons
UN And I had them even before I got this job
UM So I am giving myself permission
CB To cut the wires to some of these buttons
UA Wherever possible
TH I don’t want this person to have control over my feelings

EB So I am revoking that permission
SE They don’t have the power to make me feel miserable
UE All this stuff they do
UN And all my response to it
UM And I am clearing what I can in this moment
CB My anger may be justified
UA I may have a right to be really upset
TH But I also have a right to feel peace

EB And I am allowing myself as much peace as possible
SE Right now
UE And moving forward
UN And that doesn’t mean
UM That I can’t take action
CB There may be things I need to do
UA To improve the situation
TH There may be things I can do

EB That I have been afraid to do
SE All this fear of confrontation
UE All this fear of upsetting this person
UN They are bad enough as it is
UM I don’t want to get them angry
CB And if I approach them in an angry way
UA I am probably going to get anger back
TH If I wait until I am really stressed out

EB And I blow up at them
SE They are probably not going to calmly apologize
UE And realize the error of their ways
UN And make a permanent change for the better
UM So I am giving myself permission to relax
CB Part of me is afraid to do that
UA Part of me has been trying to get stressed out
TH So that I will push myself to take action

EB I want to do something about this
SE And I am waiting until I break
UE Until I don’t care about the consequences anymore
UN Someone probably taught me how to do this
UM Even though it never works
CB So I am releasing this need to get so upset
UA I am trying to find the best solution
TH I am allowing myself to calm down

EB Asking myself
SE What is the best solution here
UE What is the best way to get what I want?
UN Clearing the fear of taking action
UM Clearing this fear all the way back through my past
CB Giving myself permission to find peace
UA In whatever ways I can
TH In body, mind, and spirit

And, take a deep breath.
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Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Check inside and follow your breath and your body and allow yourself to think of a time when you haven’t let work go, where you have been thinking about it when you are at home or still on your cell phone at dinner, or you have got the computer on and are not being present to your family or whoever else might be around you. And just allow yourself to imagine turning that off and putting away the cell phone and shutting off the computer and being present and notice what you feel physically and emotionally and what thoughts, beliefs, or memories might come up. Notice what you might be afraid of. Are you concerned that something is going to go wrong at work? Are you avoiding being present? Notice what discomfort you might be experiencing. Write that on scale on a zero to ten. Take another deep breath. And tap on the side of the hand.

Side of Hand Even though I am not allowed to push the off button
I choose to love and accept myself anyway
Even though I can’t push the off button
I choose to love and honor myself anyway
Even though it’s not safe to push the off button
Because there will be consequences
Something I am afraid I can’t handle
And as long as I stay at work
Even just in my mind
I think I can hold things together
Even though I am not allowed to push the off button
I choose to deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself
And anyone else who taught me to do this

Eyebrow It is not safe to push the off button
Side of Eye I need to stay at work
Under Eye Even when I am at home
Under Nose Or out to dinner
Under Mouth Or all these other places other than my office
Collarbone I need to mentally be at my office
Under arm All this need to stay at work
Top of Head All this fear of the consequences

EB Am I afraid that something will go wrong at work?
SE That I will mess something up?
UE That I will miss a deadline?
UN I will upset a client?
UM Maybe my boss is mentally checking in with me
CB To make sure I am still working
UA I am not allowed to have a private life
TH Where did I get that message?

EB And I am clearing it
SE Because I deserve a personal life
UE And I need a personal life
UN I need that to rejuvenate myself
UM So that when I am on the job
CB I can do it much better
UA It is not only okay to turn the off button
TH It is really beneficial

EB I am clearing this need to stay at work
SE And maybe I am avoiding something
UE Maybe I feel more comfortable with work
UN Than with my family
UM And maybe it feels easier
CB And this is a great opportunity
UA To clear some stuff
TH And improve my home life

EB I am taking this opportunity
SE To find what I really need
UE To create balance in my life
UN To create peace in my life
UM To cultivate greater happiness in my life
CB Allowing myself to clear the fears
UA And see that it is okay to push the off button
TH Releasing the fear of consequences

EB Part of me says I can’t do this
SE If I am not stressing out
UE Something is going to go wrong
UN And I am clearing this fear
UM The more I relax
CB The more clearly I think
UA And I won’t just let things go
TH To the point that they fall apart

EB I will do much better
SE In all areas of my life
UE I am allowing myself to find balance
UN So that I do better at work and at home
UM Allowing myself to find peace
CB Because I deserve that
UA And it makes things better for other people too
TH Setting myself free in body, mind, and spirit

Take a deep breath.

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Thank you for tapping and making the world
a more peaceful place.