How Ego Gets In The Way

Let’s talk about your ego. It is that little voice in your head that says “hey, you’re better than this.” Sometimes its wise to shut that voice up, but sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes you can’t stop the voice from taking over your actions, other times its trained well enough to stay out of your daily affairs. In either case, the ego can be a gift and a curse, it all depends on how its used.

Some people just have more ego than others. Those ultra-competitive individuals, who just can’t seem to get over themselves for example, seem to just spit ego at anyone at every opportunity. However, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. These ultra-competitive individuals tend to win a lot at what they do, don’t they? Though, they are viewed as “jerks” by the rest of us, who just wish they should chill out and get over it. After all they’re not “all that.”

The point is, ego gets in the way more often than not and is the cause of a lot of trouble, whether it is personal, emotional, professional, or social.
When you place your ego in front of everything else you lose a lot of objectivity. You are blinded by your feelings of superiority and lose touch with the reality. You may think you gain control or extra power/drive by giving in to these emotions, but often the opposite is true. Its like placing a rocket on the back of your car. Sure you’ll win a lot of races, but good luck stopping once the race is over.

For a real world example, lets examine a relationship nearing its end. Two people constantly fighting over anything and everything. Why do they fight? They don’t even know any more. The fact is, that they do however, and its time for it to come to an end. They both go their separate ways; yet yearn for that feeling of togetherness once more. This could have been avoided, perhaps, if ego hasn’t taken over. Instead of fighting over minor issues, because you think you’re right, just let it go. You think you’re being “taken advantage of” or viewed as less important if you give in, and that’s a common human felling. The trick is to quiet this though, knowing that there are more important battles to fight in the future.

Ego is so preoccupied with winning the battle, it doesn’t take in to account the war. So you lose the battle of what’s for dinner. Maybe you’ll win the war over where to go for dinner on your anniversary.

So please be careful. Try to recognize signs of ego in yourself. The key to becoming a more evolved human being is to be more aware of who you are and of who others are. And that has nothing to do with ego. Put your emotional ego needs aside and try to place yourself in the other person's shoes. You may get a totally different picture. And in the end, you will have satisfaction from knowing that you actually did something good.

This applies to everything: boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, professional world, relationships with your friends etc.
Next time you're getting some negative feelings in you, try to pinpoint if it's your ego talking. And then tell it to go away so that you can be your whole self and act from your deepest self, not your ego.

- Stella (Stella Singles)