True potential is a challenge to uncover if you are out of touch with what is the most misrepresented and misunderstood aspects of being human – feelings. Research findings indicate that feelings (heart) are 5,000 more magnetic energy than that of thought (brain). When the mind and heart are coherent or ‘on the same page’, a person is in a higher state of wellbeing and creativity. So what is the passageway to more joy, meaning, and worth?

Feeling. It’s as simple as that.

Simple, yes. However, since the western world, in particular, has built up so much resistance to feeling and emotion, it is not easy for most people to access anything but the more negative feelings, the ones that repress our joy, worth, and meaning. How ironic. We have created a society that disrespects the very part of ourselves that will bring us what so many are killing themselves over with excessive ‘doing’ and hard work. The issue is that we have a perception that causes us to increase exactly what we don’t want: negative, fear-based emotion and its subsequent feelings. We become attached to wanting to feel happy all the time, but happy is not the same as joy. Actually, it’s situational and may be to frantically avoiding feeling sad. A great number of people are also disconnected from their heart in a way that is unhealthy. Feelings are not bad or good; thinking (judgment) makes it so.

“Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore, avoid undue elation in prosperity or undue depression in adversity.” ~Socrates, 469-399 B.C.

Our culture and social institutions historically—and from what I’ve observed with eyes wide-open—produce:

Reduction in joy: By focusing on lack, fear, and competition.

Reduction in self-worth: Who you are is equated with what you do or have, which apparently is never enough.

Reduction in meaning: The focus has/had been only on “shareholder value” in business instead of a higher purpose in work for the individual.

Here’s the disconnect I see and know to be my experience: more joy, worth, and meaning will likely raise the wealth level, but in a way that is “in joyable.” It will also make chasing money for money’s sake the obvious illusion and destructive paradigm it is. The mindset that seeks to control others through force is so unnatural that, one way or the other, the person with this type of mindset will also go down in flames.

In fact, FEAR, which I remind people stands for Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality, even enslaves the one who is seeking to do the controlling. Anyone with that kind of lack (by which I mean coming from scarcity, fear, and inner turbulence) mindset at their core is looking for their own self-worth via the vehicle of control over others. Perhaps the fear is that if the playing field was more level, their self-insecurity would be exposed. Bullies typically think this way.

What is the way out?

While an individual can’t single-handedly change the environment around her or him, they can change the way (perception) they look at things. In doing so, ideas can be revealed that will likely change the experience and even the environment. When one learns how to release the perception that feelings are bad and starts focusing on feeling grateful, ironically, even the negative feelings don’t seem scary and become both less frequent and less charged. It is also helpful to know how to transform negative feelings at a cellular level. The new environmental change can occur by:

* Attracting new people on a higher, more joyful vibe

* Increased feelings of self-worth independent of what one does or has; life is about growth, not fixing yourself. What I do or have is not who I am.

* Getting clarity about what is meaningful and purposeful – for YOU

When you make friends with your feelings, you will reveal the joy, self-worth, and meaning that are uniquely you and your contribution to life. You will be able to achieve with inspiration instead of having to be motivated by fear. Free your mind. Only you can do it, and the most expedient way of doing it is by freeing your feelings. They’re powerful. And love (not the distorted definitions that are thrown at us) is the greatest power of all. Love is the basis of joy, worth, and meaning. It is the polar opposite of fear.

Author's Bio: 

Valencia Ray, M.D. teaches business owners and corporate leaders how their amazing brain can actually hijack personal power -- not in the abstract, but in the context of integrating business and personal life. Dr. Ray, a board-certified eye surgeon and medical business owner for over 20 years before selling her practice, shares her own life changing process. By sharing her story, she helps others to expand their vision and learn that by living with purpose and confidence, it is possible to have a more integrated, healthier lifestyle – with less struggle, more inner peace and more abundance.

For more information and to contact her regarding dynamic, inspirational keynotes, trainings in collaborative leadership and team building, entrepreneurship and coaching programs, visit her website at