He Broke Up With Me Should I Contact Him: Should I Call My Ex Boyfriend If He Broke Up With Me

One of the most recurring questions that come to me every day and night is that question. "We broke up. Should I call him?" is one of the biggest questions about breakup and relationships these days.

It seems that breaking up men and women realize the importance of contacting their exes after the breakup has happened. But there are some areas they have to make sure they understand well. Some of the questions are:

- Should I call my ex after a breakup?
That depends on the nature of the breakup. If you feel that the breakup is irreversible and that you are not interested in getting back to your ex then there is no point of calling him unless you want to be friends. Anyway if you plan to get back to your ex then you should try to contact your ex but without being too desperate or needy. You have to show yourself as a confident woman who has other interests in her life than getting back an old love. You have to keep the no contact immediately after the breakup to give yourself and your ex a break for good thinking. Give your ex a chance to realize the value of you in his life. It would be easier for both of you to get back together if you waited till the high emotions after the breakup is settled down.

- How long should I keep the no contact with my ex?
There is no rule for this. But usually a period of two weeks to one month is good. That depends on how deep your relationship was and the extent of heart break you both faced during the last days of your relationship.

- What to say to my ex after the no contact period has ended?

Make it casual with your ex. Call him to make sure he is alright. Show your confidence and maturity by expressing you're OK with the breakup and that you are going to move on. Apologize gently and sincerely about anything bad you have done. Show yourself as a happy woman who enjoys her life after the breakup.

- If I want to send a message to my ex, what should I write?
Depending on your situation you have to apologize for the bad things you had done. Apply curiosity and self interest in the message you want to deliver. For example tell your ex that you want to thank him in person for a favor he had done. This will provoke self interest and curiosity and your ex will not be able to resist the temptation to know what he had done. Be honest and tell your ex something real. There is no point of lying here or you will destroy your credibility and honesty and that is not good if you want to get back to your ex.

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No woman wants to get dumped by her boyfriend but don't worry because there are several tips and tricks to get your ex boyfriend back. So if you feel that you've suffered enough and want to get him back in your life then there are a few things you need to do.

1. Be open and friendly

One of the best tricks to get your ex boyfriend back is to be open to the idea of getting back together. Some women tend to be bitter because of the breakup and if he thinks that you're still mad at him and not ready to forgive him then he might not be so inclined to get back together with you. He needs to know that you're willing to forgive and forget so you can both have a second chance.

2. Don't bombard him with phone calls

You're speaking to each other again and you're done with the no contact rule. But take it easy and don't bombard him with phone calls and messages. He might not appreciate all these calls from you and you're still on a tentative stage. You're communicating again but there's still awkwardness and tension. If you keep calling him then you're going to look desperate and he might end up avoiding you again.

3. Stop the drama

Yes, he hurt you and dumped you. But you won't get anywhere if you keep crying in front of him or when you're talking to him because you're determined to let him know exactly how you felt about the breakup. He knows you've been hurt and being a drama queen will only make him cringe and want to stay away from you.

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4. Just relax and be cool

Some men expect their ex girlfriend to fall apart during a breakup. A great trick is to the exact opposite and act cool and relaxed. This will get him thinking because he wasn't expecting you to handle yourself well. It might even set off some insecurity in him and he might feel a twinge of fear that if he doesn't act now then he might lose you for good.

5. Don't be a backstabber

If you want to get him back then you're going to have to act mature. This includes not talking behind his back to your girlfriends. They may want to know the details and because you're feeling hurt you want him to look like the jerk. But you both have your reasons for the breakup and he won't appreciate you telling everyone your business. He wouldn't want to come back to a girl who tells her friends what he jerk he is.

6. Don't ask his family and friends to help you

You really want him back and so you tried asking his loved ones for help. But this is actually a bad idea because they may not be inclined to help you. After all, it's really non of their business and you're only going to look like a desperate ex girlfriend if you do this.

7. Be confident

Being confident is also one of the best tricks to get your ex boyfriend back. Men are attracted to strong and confident women. This means that if you continue to sulk and be miserable then you're definitely not going to get his attention. You need to focus on yourself and your needs so that you can regain your self-esteem and become a stronger individual.

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So, the relationship is over but you still want to get your ex boyfriend back, right? Then you are going to have to take what may be hard advice if you truly want to make this happen. No matter how strong the urge is, you must NOT chase him. This will only work against you, irritating your ex boyfriend, if not making him think you are a crazy stalker! Doing this will only ensure that your relationship is well and truly over.

Now, obviously you are feeling miserable after the break up - who doesn't? But do NOT hassle him with crying phone calls, endless promises, or begging to be taken back. This is a huge turn off and will most certainly work against your desires to get your ex boyfriend back.

It is natural to want to cry - to want to release the hurt and overflowing emotions that a break up may bring on. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as you don't turn to your ex boyfriend for support. This is the time to lean on your friends and family for emotional support. Your ex is still angry and will not want to console you, and why would they? You just broke up!

You want to get your ex boyfriend back though, right? Well then, get over your hurt in your own personal way, and then move on with your life. Live as you did before you met him. Go out with friends, have a great time, and don't avoid places just because you might run into him. You need him to see that you are doing just fine without him. Don't ignore him, just give him a friendly greeting, and then carry on with your night.

You don't need to do anything other than this to remind your ex of what he is missing out on. He'll remember the good times and he'll see that you are doing fine on your own, not wallowing in grief and pity. He'll see a happy, confident you,,and that will get him thinking about the good times you had together and what a wonderful team you made. And before you know it, he'll be contacting you and wanting to get back together again.

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First of all, you are not alone, this happens to women all the time. We start to feel comfortable, he is acting like a boyfriend, doing a lot of really right things. Then one day you start sensing his distance. Next thing you know he is gone without a word, no explanation, nothing.

We could speculate all day long, but I will go into the main reason he disappeared. We start seeing a guy, we start getting comfortable and next thing you know we are acting like a wife. We offer to help him out, maybe do his laundry, help him clean his apartment, take him lunch, cook, go out of our way to please him. Whew! No wonder he ran. Guys get really nervous when we start acting like a girlfriend before he has officially declared we had the title. Not to mention such behavior reminds him of his mother.

When we get too comfortable with a guy and start making it easy on him, he no longer sees us as valuable. We are easy and available. He feels he already has us. This is a sure way to kill attraction. The women who keep the men from disappearing have a little secret. It's called holding back. They always hold back something and I don't mean sex. The guy is never 100% sure he has her. Thrill of the chase so to speak.

When he disappears we have that question, "How could he do this to me? Good question yes, but the answer really is simple. For some reason, he stopped feeling it for you. Ouch I know. Guys disappear usually out of boredom, or lack of a challenge. What guy doesn't like a challenge? If he says he doesn't, he is lying for sure.

Timing is critical when getting your ex back. Ex partners often consider a rebound relationship or just casual sex to get over you. You need to act right now. What you need is a complete, step-by-step system to take your hand and show you exactly what to do next to get your ex back in 30 days or less. For the whole system and all you would ever need to know, check it out here right now: Get Back My Ex

Author's Bio: 

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