We can pay ourselves large doses of anxiety if we expect to suffer a failure-especially if we believe that this failure will transform ourselves into a miserable person only worthy of both the scorn and derision of others, not to forget our own contempt.

While we can always learn to muck about the disrepute of others, isn't there a more acute emotional pain than the one of losing the value and the dignity we have in our own eyes?

And in order to avoid this emotional distress, how many of us either refrain from performing certain actions or force ourselves to perform some others-even though these actions and behaviors clearly seem to be in direct opposition to our true interests?

Finally, what we really fear is having to say-while looking at ourselves in the mirror-such things like: "What a miserable, disgusting, and pitiful person I am!"

Basically, the approach by which we globally assess ourselves-both positively and negatively-proves deeply pernicious, insane, and dangerous. Indeed, considering all the years of our lives, how can we really achieve a fair balance of our innumerable acts and characteristics? After all, not only are there so many disparate elements involved, but these elements are also impossible to rate on an absolute scale. For example:

- You have loved your father very much, but you have hated your mother.
- You have succeeded very well in school, but you have miserably failed in your marriage.
- You are very good at playing tennis, but you have very poor abilitites on a golf course.

What can we conclude from all of this? That we are brave and valuable human beings at times, but duds and losers at others?

Let's face it: Not only is the approach by which we globally assess ourselves-both positively and negatively-unrealistic and contradictory, but it can only lead us to confusion, anxiety, and emotional pain.

No human being on Planet Earth is intrinsically good and okay or-just the opposite-no human being on Planet Earth is intrinsically bad and not okay. As a matter of fact, we'd better save these words when it comes to assess our actions and behaviors... and still, we must be very careful in their use-more so considering that it is almost impossible for us to be sure that an act or behavior is an absolute success or failure.

Let us remember that we are not our actions and behaviors, and that our human condition will never vary according to our successes and failures. In other words, we will never lose our human value-if such a value really exists-and we will never increase it of a single micron.

Why not simply invest our efforts into accepting ourselves as we are? That's what late Dr. Albert Ellis used to call USA or Unconditional Self-Acceptance.

Unconditional Self-Acceptance means that:

- We accept ourselves exactly as we are: Faillible and imperfect human beings-performing some acts with success one day and performing some other acts (or the same ones) with failure the other day.
- We cease to claim that we should be different than what we are, that we shouldn't be like this or like that.
- We lucidly distinguish between our acts and behaviors... and their perpetrators-us!

Let's repeat to ourselves-over and over and over again:

"I succeeded in doing this or that: good for me! I failed in doing this or that: too bad! Not only will I always be the same human being, but I will never lose or increase the human value that I possibly have."

May this affirmation calm the anxiety you might feel about possible failures and allow you to live within a more serene emotional atmosphere.

Author's Bio: 

Chantal Beaupre is an Emotional Mastery Coach, a Naturopath, an Independent Licensed LifeSuccess Consultant, and a business partner of Bob Proctor-as seen in "The Secret" movie. Her passion is to provide men and women who are ready to raise their level of happiness and improve the quality of their lives with practical tools, challenging ideas, resources, and helpful information through the power of the Internet.

Chantal's newest eBook, "It's The Thought That Counts!," co-authored with Ali Brown, Ariane de Bonvoisin, Eva Gregory, Guy Finley, Jeanna Gabellini, Jim Donovan, Dr. Joe Rubino, Kathleen Gage, Mary Allen, and a host of other leading experts in the happiness arena can be downloaded for FREE on the Web.

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