Beliefs, thoughts and education play a vital role in one's personality overall. Our minds determine our personality types. We all judge different things in our own unique way and this attribute make our identity distinguished from others. We just cannot survive without our brains! Some people think that it is all inside the brain whether we are happy, sad, rich, poor, peaceful, destructive, smart, confuse, scared, resilient, confident, strong, compose, shaky, or assertive. There is no limit on how much we can use our brain and in what direction.

Keeping aside the cognitive area, in relationships, we usually follow the routine. The routine we have followed since long. May it be since infancy. We are used to do certain things in a certain manner. We learn from our parents, culture, environment and friends about ways of doing things, manners of life, talking and sharing styles, greeting manners, and manners about keeping relationships. We also learn what to expect and what not to expect from others. We learn how to stop crying and how to start living by just following our elders. We learn how to behave with elders, children and friends. We learn all what we would need in our own practical life in the future.

When we start our practical life, usually, our partner comes with another set of beliefs, thoughts, and training to life. Till the time, we discuss things and matters, we resolve the issues through a hard work done by our brains – through arguments, diplomatic statements and empathetic attitude. As we already know the importance of different perspectives for different people. So there is no point of feeling dejected in any of the controversial issue.

Unfortunately, when we start living with our partner physically, we notice lots of different training programs going on. May it be a little difference in watching T.V., in passing leisure time, in preferring something on the dinner table, in spending money, in doing chores, or even in sleeping routine. Many families differ widely in tiny, little daily routines and they rarely notice it. The difference becomes wider when it is a matter of religion, caste, region, or racism.

Sometimes little difference becomes huge when it interrupts you often. For example, your partner may speak louder occasionally to his/her self that would bother you in the long run. Sometimes, you need to adjust your sleeping habits according to other person and it could take years to feel comfortable and happy at both ends. Such differences are neither bad nor good, but they could become your worst enemy in constructing a strong social relationship. To some extent,we could leave arguments unsettled and wide open to discuss later but we cannot leave bad habits without being unaffected and undisturbed at all.

Here, it is important to note that habits whether bad or good, form our personality. Ethically we need to eliminate our bad habits but unfortunately there are a few people out there, who are well determined to leave their bad habits and they eventually get rid of them. Otherwise, one must live with his/her counterparts good as well as bad habits. So to go ahead in any relationship, one must compare bad habits of each others in detail as well as good!

To conclude, we, up to 99%, live by our habits: things that we are used to. We just cannot change them. If I say, we are slaves of our habits, it will not be totally wrong. The way we speak, listen, eat, sleep, enjoy all determine our personality too as well as our thoughts. Our actions, styles, ways, habits will never leave us alone. So to grow in a relationship, habits should not be ignored. The more we have common grounds, the more we will flourish in love.


Author's Bio: 

Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher, Counselor and Researcher in several institutes of China, Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self –esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.
Dr Mona