We are taught not to be selfish but I believe in one area of our life we really need to be extremely selfish. That area is forgiveness of each other. For God will forgive us as we forgive each other (paraphrased from Luke 11:4). See I hear people all the time say "well I just can't forgive so and so for what they did". Do we not realize that we harm ourselves when we hold unforgiveness in our bosoms toward each other? That is why I say forgiveness is a selfish act. You do not forgive because it helps the one being forgiven, NO you forgive because it frees your soul from the hate and bitterness that holding a grudge brings. Like an open sore, is the root of an unforgiving nature because it festers and builds and infects the whole life of the person walking in unforgiveness and the lives of those around that person. " But you just do not understand what they have done or how bad they hurt me", is another cry I hear often to which I say, "You by not forgiving are causing yourself more harm daily than if you would turn loose of this baggage that is hindering you from walking in the Spirit of true LOVE. You are allowing that person to have control over you by holding the grudge against them." I usually ask three very important questions of anyone coming to me with this problem;
1.Who is suffering over this? them or you?
2.Does this effect others areas of your life? i.e.; relationships
3.Have you prayed that God forgive you and help you to forgive and forget what others have done to you, as well as what you have done to others?
The answers are always very revealing because usually the only one still hurting is the person who cannot forgive or forget the intentional or unintentional original problem.
So you can't forget it? Then that means you are holding onto some unforgiveness somewhere in your heart. When we find this, we should pray that God aid us in forgiving and wipe from our memory the incident that is putting the proverbial thorn in our side. Walk in Love not in hate and unfogiveness, you are the one who will receive the biggest benefit and blessing from that choice. So be selfish!
I am a blood bought daughter of the most high God. I am a sinner saved by grace and healed by mercy. I know Jesus lived, was beaten for my iniquities and suffered the cross to pay the blood debt for my sin. I know that on the third day my Savior Jesus Christ of Nazareth rose again and that He ascended to sit at the right hand of my Father in doing so made way for the Holy Spirit to come down to comfort, guide and protect those of us who choose to call on Jesus name repent and confess our sin and believe in Him for everlasting life. Glory be to God all praise and honor belong to the King!
I live in Oklahoma with my husband and daughter.I serve as a Pastor and teacher in two ministries. I am a soldier in God's army. I am a self-professed God chaser, and catcher. Glory be to God all praise and honor belong to the King! His humble servant am I. www.holyministry.org
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