Five Soul Contracts You Want to Release and How to Start Doing It!

Soul Contracts can be wonderful, loving connections between people that help create growth, transformation, and even access to unconditional love. (Laaaaa! Can you hear the birds tweeting and the harps playing?) People always want to know what the Soul Contract is between themselves and their partner, brother, mother, best friend… After all, once you know the Soul Contract, you’re on track to creating a successful relationship.

Unfortunately, Soul Contracts can also act as painful blocks that stop people from being able to achieve their dreams, have a wonderful marriage, find a best friend, or even become successful in business. When a Soul Contract is blocking the way, it is disheartening – and always confusing. I’ve met many a person who has tried every “thing” they could think of to find their “true love” or to make their business a great success – and yet, nothing worked. In situations like this, it’s often a Soul Contract that is standing in the way.

Below, I’ve listed five common Soul Contracts that people often don’t realize they have. Perhaps you recognize some of these within yourself? Perhaps it’s time to take some action (I’ll show you how to do that as well!).

5. Soul Contract of Martyrdom
Do you find that it’s a lot easier to say “yes” than it is to say “no”? Do you put your own needs or desires aside to help other people (or animals!) – even when it is really inconvenient to you? Do you feel like you’re a good person or a better person if you sacrifice your own needs in some way to make someone else happy? If you answered yes to any of these, you are probably a) feeling pretty frustrated with your life b) feeling that other people don’t appreciate you c) feeling tired and drained.

You probably also feel that being called “selfish” is the worst type of insult, and you most likely make decisions constructed to ensure that no one can ever apply that label to you. This is how the Martyrdom Soul Contract often manifests… and it’s not pretty. Once you’ve broken this soul-level agreement, it won’t mean you’ll never help another person. Rather, it will allow you to make better decisions about who to help and when – and also about how to continue to take care of yourself while giving to others. A much more balanced way to live for sure!

4. Soul Contract of Loyalty
Do you stand by your friend, lover, parent, boss etc. no matter what they do or how they treat you? Have you ever heard yourself saying “yes, she’s pretty mean but family is family” or “I have no choice, he’s my boss”? The Loyalty Soul Contract will often help a person create a situation in which they are walked all over by those they love and where a person feels helpless or trapped when considering changing or leaving the relationship because they don’t want to abandon the other person.

When a Soul Contract of this nature is finally released, you’ll be able to make changes in your relationships (personal or professional) even if those changes are something you’ve struggled with for years, such as leaving your husband or quitting your job. The “hold” that those people have over you will be gone!

3. Soul Contract of Loneliness
Have you been looking for your Soul-Mate throughout your life only to have one relationship after another result in failure, dis-ease, sadness and heartbreak? Have you tried blind dates, online dating, or settling for someone who isn’t “it”? While there are many different contracts that could be standing in the way of finding love, the Soul Contract of Loneliness can be one of the most difficult to handle. When your soul is adhering to this type of agreement, even when you’ve found someone wonderful – you still feel alone, separate and unsupported. Release this contract and you’re finally able to “feel” the support and love that is out there – whereas WITH this contract, it’s like it doesn’t exist (even though it often already does).

2. Soul Contract of Anxiety
If you are someone who always feels anxious, nervous or worried – your soul might be holding you to this type of contract. Do you wait for the other shoe to drop? When money is coming in – do you count the days until “you know” it will go out again? When one of your worries alleviates, do you quickly replace it with another thing to worry about? You may be thinking this is normal human nature, but it isn’t! In many cases, it’s a contract that you took out some time in a past life that your soul still believes is valid.

Why would you ever make such a commitment? Perhaps you felt that if you wrapped yourself in a blanket of anxiety – it would heighten your awareness so that nothing could ever get by you and surprise or hurt you again? (I’ve found with my clients that this is a common reason!) Filtering life through a blanket of anxiety is not fun for you (obviously) or for the people around you. When you release this commitment, you’ll find that you are more able to be in touch with your

intuition (anxiety blocks us from our intuition) so you are more easily and naturally kept up to date by your own gut on what is coming down the pike for you. A much more enjoyable way to stay aware for sure!

1. Soul Contract: Rocking the Boat
Are you someone who is afraid to be seen as marching to your own drummer? Someone who doesn’t break rules or rock the boat? Who doesn’t even want others to know you’re reading this website? This is a very common agreement that we humans tend to commit ourselves to as a way of protection. By standing in the background and blending in, you run less risk of being ostracized, penalized or pointed out. While this might have seemed like a good idea during some lifetime when you were still reeling from being made fun of for something that you did – the current reality means that it will become difficult to build a business, become an expert, write a book, and more because you must stand out in order to do these things!

When you release this Soul Contract from your life, things really begin to open up. So much of what each person has come here to do is dependent on being able to blaze your own path. When you finally let go of this soul-level agreement, it’s like “ta-da!”, the lights turn on, your work is highlighted and things move forward.

How to Get Started Releasing & Clearing These Contracts

So, what do you do if you realize (through your own self-examination or through a session with me) that perhaps you’ve been unknowingly running up against a Soul Contract that you no longer want? How can you break it?

First, you have to realize that you can’t just break ANY Soul Contract that you want. It doesn’t work that way. You first must do the work to understand how this agreement has both served and hindered you. It’s like… your understanding is loosening the tooth so that it can be pulled.

Your second step is awareness. Spend time witnessing the Soul Contract and understanding how it’s been rearing its ugly head in your life. For example, if martyrdom is the issue, take a few weeks to notice when you’re giving up your own needs for those of another person. You’ll start to see patterns in your behavior, and as they emerge, it will become easier and easier for you recognize those times when you tend to sacrifice for others. This takes some time, so don’t expect to get it perfectly right away.

After you’ve mastered the awareness portion, a new piece will emerge: the awareness of the contract will bring about a moment of clarity. If you normally say, “Yes! I’ll take your Grandma to the grocery store on Sunday so you can stay in and watch football” you’ll now find that there is a small pause just before you give your answer. Within that pause you have created an opportunity: “Do I want to follow the same pattern or do I want to make a different decision this time?” Sometimes you will make the same decision and you will see the same results – but the more aware you are, the more you’ll be able to make a healthier choice.

Once you feel you’ve really got a handle on this contract, you understand where it shows up and how it’s affecting your life. After you’ve been working on making some different decisions, you can speed up and deepen the release by writing about it (automatic writing can be very effective!), addressing it in a therapy session, or doing Soul Contract work with me.

There is no right or wrong decision here – only what works. It’s a process – a process of realizing the Soul Contract is there, becoming aware of the pattern and how it shows up in your life, and then taking action steps to finally release it from your life. It’s one of the most empowering things you can do as a human!