Finding Courage in Surrendering

Finding Courage in Surrendering

Please allow me to start this post by saying that I am looking forward to the day that we as individuals can begin to accept, as well as seek to understand, all of what people say to us.

It is quite common that we are quick to align with and apt to indulge in someone’s high regard of us yet when their opinion is of a more critical nature we tend to construct conscious “barriers of acceptance” as if we are being offered no true value in their criticism. Understandable.

The very nature of acceptance, allowance and surrender; the 3 pillars of letting go, guarantee that all experiences will serve our growth and that a label of “good” or “bad”, positive or negative, is nothing more than a creation of the ego-mind’s standard procedures of separation.

I feel letting go is the strongest of skills any light being can master.

I feel our preclusion towards self-preservation can be served, and not disregarded, by understanding that when verbally “attacked” we are being given a valuable gift. It is an offering of potential transformation, and an opportunity for immense cultivation of courage, when we accept that there is always something to learn based on what others see in us.

This is an advanced level of awareness; reaching the “birds-eye view” state of consciousness where we are not observing through our personal body but of the Higher Self.

I understand this may not seem like an easy task and it isn’t, at first, but no doubt if you just try it once you will see it is worth it… and it becomes easier over time as you begin to come into a higher alignment with your inner sense of self.

So rather than coming up with a witty, self-preserving response to defend our ego, we can stand in our self trust and infinite being and seek to learn rather than reject, to grow instead of hide.

My personal experience:

If you’ve read my story you know I grew up with a gay parent and in the early 90’s it wasn’t popular…it wasn’t mainstream or cool and I wasn’t “protected” by laws or statutes of discrimination.

I learned very early on what it was like to have other people’s pain projected at me…it’s their own emotional trauma stuffed in a box with your face printed on the gift-wrapping. But it’s an effective projection, especially for a young kid trying to find themselves and even still for any adult who isn’t awoken to their own sense of inner power and trust in self.

These projections had made me so angry that I was being attacked for my dad’s choices that instead of disagreeing with those who attacked me on this premise that I actually joined them in their distaste.

(Interesting though, because in doing so I had unknowingly chose alignment over rejection.)
I aligned and agreed just to get by; “yea my dad’s a f*** fag. What a loser.”… I saw the value in alignment but I had only figured out half of the equation…I never saw the opportunity for healing.

We all face similar instances of attack, accusation or claim that we do not agree with and I feel we are so conditioned to preserve ourselves that we overlook an incredible opportunity for finding courage in surrendering.

Instead we go right to putting up a barrier or a wall, we say “No!” and take a stand. But I really feel that these walls we put up are one of our biggest obstacles to achieving true unity because of the regularity this state of separation is practiced with.

People say not nice things to us all the time, it is frequent and our responses are learned, practiced…we have an incredible opportunity here now that we read these words and become aware. The light rises inevitably now…
My guidance tells me that all forms of separation are simply an under-sight of communication.

When I say under-sight, I mean we just haven’t thought deeply enough to see the whole picture yet. Everyone’s got their walls up and these barriers of self-protection are also the barriers of unity.

In truth, we have to surrender into unity, surrender ourselves and whatever isn’t in alignment. We have to trust ourselves, trust Source or God or the Universe, we have to go with the flow and trust ourselves to swim.

A deeper look at finding courage into surrendering:

The only reason we feel attacked is because we’re operating under the notion that;

• what is being said is true

• that you are guilty or maybe you feel guilty

• or you feel this external source is going to be taking something from you

So for whatever reason, we feel we must defend the attack, we see a clear and present “threat”. We feel that the conflict is already created and now it’s on us to “come out on the right side of history”…

However, it is only when we react to this perceived attack with an equal force, when we spring into re-action and mount a defense, that we actually open ourselves up to the low vibrational energy of “the attack”.

Looking at this as energy, as simply a frequency, may help and is an effective tool that highlights the differences between conscious and unconscious people…see, it doesn’t matter if we perceive ourselves to be on 1 side or the other. In either case whether we are making a claim or accusation or defending with self-preservation, we are aligning with the energy and taking it on…so you see that both positions are the same because they’re both operating at the same vibrational frequency.

Ever heard the expression “Don’t argue with an idiot, from a distance people cannot tell who is who”?

It makes for a decent analogy here.

If instead we did nothing, observing with a birds-eye perspective and not that of the body but truly the higher self, then in having no vibrationally matched reaction, the “gate of our consciousness” would not be open or available for this perceived slight to come through.
If we chose not to engage in that lower frequency of the attack then we would not experience the energy in the first place.

It is the moment we formulate a defense to it that we begin to give the “attack” form, shape, definition…we build its existence in our energy field out of thin air instead of letting it whither into the wind like a puff of smoke from a hot-head’s lungs.

Where there is not your defense to an attack, there is no attack. Instead of looking for the best way to repel or resist, let’s find the best way to agree, align and accept.

Important point for finding courage in surrendering:
Truth and experience are not the same thing.

What another’s experience of you is, does not define or equal truth. It is simply their experience.

But by defending the perception of an attack you align yourself with their experience and with their own perception of truth and thus you make this truth your own, if and until your consciousness feels you “have defeated it”. You take on their experience and their truth as ground-zero and then try to unbuild it with your defense. It doesn’t work. Even if you “win” there is residual energy left behind…the seed has been planted, watered and reaped.

Understanding why finding courage in surrendering is the path to higher alignment:

A being with a firm trust and love of self, in a state of compassion and surrender, would recognize this person who is “on the attack” is only projecting their inner pain.

And while they offer you insight into yourself if observed from an even more conscious perspective, on the surface of their attack, they offer little to no real substantive insight into who you are as a living being of light.

Nobody can tell you who you are but you.

But they can offer you a deeper insight into the experience if you are courageous, bold or curious enough to go there.

Nevertheless, it makes no sense really to “defend” an attack when you break it down and look at it. It’s like you’re working backwards to undo something you’ve just created by trying not to create it.

This is the maze of the mind winding experiences up into a confusing and impossibly dense reality that eventually becomes a nightstand full of Xanax and Prozac.

Instead, we can choose compassion; to align with their experience and accept that they are simply speaking what they feel is truth…but also that it does not mean that we must accept their truth, only that we accept and have compassion for their experience.

Finding courage in surrendering is an extremely powerful way to live and transform the reality around you. It may not be easy but it is definitely worth it.

This is a huge opportunity for many of us to avoid and disarm conflicts big and small, and to draw a clear distinction between truth and experience.

We can accept others and what they feel, what they experience, even if they speak poorly of us…because we know that is simply their experience and not our truth.

I look forward to the day where we look for opportunities to help each other heal in moments of conflict, where we can begin transforming our path from one of destruction to one of creation, from separation to unity, from fear to love.

I am here for you and am grateful to have you with us on this journey. If I can ever be of assistance please don’t hesitate to email me or leave a comment below and please do sign up to the newsletter for more helpful insight like this.

Your brother in truth, light and love,
Andrew