Don't Listen to Those Who Tell You EVERYTHING is Your Fault: When this Happens, It's Time to Walk Away!

“Everything that happens in your life is either because you subconsciously wanted it to happen or it is a mirror of your own inner beliefs.”

The absurdity of this statement, and others like it, were not realized until Rachel was scribbling her Last Will and Testament. There was no option—death was the only answer to protect those she loved; she just needed to find a way to make it happen.

The irony of it all, in the grand scheme of things, is that mental-health counselors are sup-posed to help people who are contemplating suicide, not to take someone to the brink of suicide.

But that was exactly what Michelle* did. Rachel had sought counseling with Michelle for anxiety related to money and fears of being alone if her husband would die. During the seven years Rachel was under her care, Michelle repeatedly told Rachel that she, Rachel, was not a victim, and only victims believed things happened to them. In reality, according to Michelle, people have a say in what happens to them; nothing happens unless the person wanted things to happen or needed to learn from the incident.

“Everything that happens in your life is either because you subconsciously want it to happen or it is a mirror of your own inner beliefs.” Michelle called it manifesting. This was an every-session statement to Rachel. This statement thus started the decline in Rachel’s desire to live. “There are no victims in the world,” Michelle would say.

The concept behind Michelle’s teachings was that what a person thinks about will become a reality either to teach the person a lesson or to show the person what the person truly believed. Every person that is alive today came to learn something, to enhance their spirit in some way. We chose our parents (before we were born) to assist us in our learning, so there was no reason to be upset if we didn’t like what our parents were like or if we had an abusive or neglectful childhood; after all, we chose the parents and our childhood situations. All of our past experiences were there to help our spirit grow; therefore, there was no reason to be upset about the past—we chose all those experiences.

”There are no victims,” in other words.

But for Rachel, a woman who cared about others, all she saw was how she was causing misery in others’ lives, including that of her husband and children.

Over the seven years Rachel was “counseled” by Michelle, Rachel came to the conclusion that every problem in the family was because of her subconscious beliefs or because there was a lesson to be learned for her highest good. Most of the time, however, she could not see the lesson that was to be learned. She spent most of her time in inner-reflection trying to glean some idea of what she was not seeing. Twice each month, she returned to counseling with Michelle hoping to gain some clarity during the session. After each session with Michelle, Rachel often felt a little better, until a few days later when she returned to feeling helpless and paranoid over anything she thought, or didn’t think; Rachel was convinced all the answers lay in her subconscious.

As she searched for answers to her questions, Rachel came to the point where she was unable to function. As a self-employed person, her business was slowly failing, just limping along enough to convince her that she should keep it open. With the decline in income, money matters began to surface at home. Thus another layer to her self-blame was added to the already heavy burden.

And all the time, she kept asking herself, “What am I doing wrong?” Rachel had read about manifesting, even though it was different from what Michelle taught; still, Rachel seemed unable to manifest customers, health or peace of mind. No matter how hard she tried, she could not find the cause of her struggles.

After all, she would not be having money troubles or health issues now if they weren’t something she was either thinking or a mirror-image of her own beliefs.

Still, Rachel continued to see Michelle, opting to pay for the visits over buying medicines for her back pain, seeing she felt the pain would disappear if she could find out what it was teaching her. Her husband’s medical insurance did not cover Michelle’s services as she had a private practice.

By the time she closed the doors of her business, Rachel was in a deep depression. It was her fault that her business failed. It was her fault the customers didn’t walk through the door any more. It was her fault the family now had financial troubles. It was her fault….

In an attempt to take action for their financial status, Rachel had a rummage sale. During the sale, she noticed several things had been stolen. When Rachel told Michelle, she put the blame on Rachel: “People steal from you because you believe there is not enough money in the world to go around.” Michelle also proceeded to tell Rachel to have no further rummage sales because only poor people have rummage sales and Rachel had to stop believing she was poor.

When her son Joshua, 10, became ill and was diagnosed with asthma, Rachel took it upon herself to find out why she had caused Joshua’s illness; after all, Joshua would not be ill unless Rachel wanted it to occur, right?

Rachel stopped seeing Michelle when she could no longer afford to pay her. Thinking she had lost the only one who could help her find the way to the reason behind all her failures and her son’s asthma, Rachel lost all hope. The self-hatred and loathing she began to feel a couple of years earlier intensified dramatically.

Then she realized the only way to rid Joshua of his asthma and restore the monetary balance to her family was to leave. As Rachel felt she was the one totally responsible for any family suffering, the family would fair better if she were not there to cause more problems. Rachel’s ability to see beyond her self-blame caused a narrowness of vision in that she could only see part of the picture. She was unable even to think that others in the family might be contributing to family problems; her focus was totally at herself for all issues and it was her responsibility to help her family by leaving.

But then she started thinking. No matter where she went, she would cause problems for others because she didn’t know why she was causing so many problems currently; and she had no way to search for the answers as the only light out of the darkness Rachel perceived was Michelle, and she could no longer afford to see Michelle.

So her thoughts turned to suicide. It seemed like the only answer. It was the most logical answer.

As tears streamed down her face, Rachel scribbled her Last Will and Testament. The only thing left to do was to find a way to die.

As Rachel didn’t like pain and could not consciously swallow a bunch of pills, she realized she would not be able to die by her hand. In the end, she realized she would not be able to commit suicide. So she prayed and thought hard about dying—after all, if she thought about it, it would happen, or so Michelle often had said.

After a week of not dying, Rachel resigned to the fact that she would have to find her own way out of the turmoil. She called a friend who instantly recommended Rachel find a “real counselor” and to go to the doctor for some help. Having seen the impact of “psych drugs” on her mother, Rachel refused to take an antidepressant or anti-anxiety drug, so she opted to not seek medical care. Instead, she called a Classical Homeopath.

The Homeopath knew she had to work quickly or Rachel would be lost. Even though Rachel was not actively suicidal, her symptoms were intense and had the potential to cause a lot of health damage even without trying to die.

Rescue Remedy (a mixture of Bach Flower Essences) was immediately given to help with the intense emotional symptoms. The Homeopath also gave Rachel Psorinum (a Homeopathic Medicine) to calm the desire to commit suicide. The Homeopath also told Rachel that things were going to be okay—that statement alone probably helped more than anything before that point. It gave Rachel a glimmer of hope. A follow-up appointment was set for the next day.

Until the next visit, the Homeopath worked to find a core-healing remedy to assist Rachel with her healing. As the principle of Classical Homeopathy is to heal the person, not just manage symptoms, the Homeopath has to find the one remedy to start the healing process. The Psorinum given to Rachel was to help with the intensity of the depression; it was not considered a core-healing remedy when given as it was.

The following day, at her next visit, Rachel was already feeling a little better. Although she was confused and very depressed, she didn’t feel as heavy with sorrow. The core-healing remedy was given, along with instructions to seek the care of a counselor, but not the counselor from before (e.g. Michelle). The Homeopath had listened to the words Michelle had told Rachel and knew they, the words, were not right and were the primary reason Rachel now felt suicidal and severely depressed.

At the next follow-up appointment a week later, Rachel looked at least 50% brighter. She walked taller and was no longer so pale. She even smiled a couple of times during the office visit.

When working with the new counselor, Rachel had realized that Michelle’s teachings were in error and were probably just a way she, Michelle, caused people to become dependent upon her and ensuring a steady stream of income by convincing her clients that Michelle was needed to help them uncover the truths of their subconscious mind. At the office visit with the Homeopath, Rachel oddly credited Michelle for most of the improvements in her mood since the previous visit.

Looking through new eyes, Rachel had listened in on one of Michelle’s free tele-conferences. In the seminar, Michelle had stated that sometimes things happen to us to teach others a lesson—we just happened to be the one God or the Universe used to help teach them.

In all the times Michelle had told Rachel about manifesting and that all things happen to us to teach us a lesson, Michelle had never told Rachel that something could happen to us that was not to teach us a lesson.

In her anger, in the question-and-answer part of the presentation, Rachel had spoken up and had asked if she had heard it correctly, that things happen to us without our control, and is not always a reflection of our beliefs. There had been a long pause; Michelle had recognized Rachel’s voice. Michelle was now caught between having her lies exposed to one person and telling the truth to all the other listeners. So Michelle chose to tell the truth: we aren’t always at fault.

Immediately after the seminar, Michelle had called Rachel in an attempt to explain. Michelle made excuses and tried to convince Rachel to return to see her; she would even start a tab until money became more plentiful in Rachel’s life. Rachel told Michelle what she had learned and that she was seeing a Classical Homeopath now who was helping her more than Michelle ever had. Rachel also talked about starting a law suit against Michelle, at which time she stated that Rachel only heard what she had needed to hear, and that she needed to experience the situation for her highest good.

Rachel then remembered the time she had found a business card from a pimp in a library book—she had told Michelle of the find. Michelle had stated “You wouldn’t have found the card had you not believed you could be wealthy without having to resort to crime. If you didn’t have this belief, you would not have seen the card.” Rachel didn’t have that belief and had felt Michelle was wrong in her interpretations of the incident. Remembering that lie, Rachel hung up.

As time passed and Rachel grew stronger mentally, she again thought of taking the steps to sue Michelle. But suing Michelle would not help anyone, unless Michelle went out of business from it. Still, Rachel could not in good conscience leave others to suffer under Michelle’s care; she felt she had to tell someone. So she set out to help as many people as possible by telling her story.

In the end, it was Rachel who had the courage to move beyond the faulty lessons from Michelle. Although some of the teachings still remain, even 6 months after the last session with Michelle, Rachel is no longer suicidal. She still blames herself for just about everything, but now she is conscious of the fact that the self-blaming is a conditioned response from faulty counseling. “I am almost free of the brain washing!”

Manifesting is not wrong—Michelle was wrong. Everyone makes mistakes and does things that are not right. No one is perfect. When looking through clear eyes, people can see those things that contribute to their decisions; assigning blame to yourself clouds the vision, keeping learning from occurring.

And no one causes bad things to happen just by thinking of them or by being alive.

People do learn and grow based on the changes in their lives. But God or the Universe does not introduce turmoil into a person’s life to help them grow spiritually; He/She also does not wait around watching you to pounce on every thought and action just so He/She can throw a block in your path of discovery.

Don’t follow the path that Rachel did. If your counselor or health professional tells you something that does not feel right, don’t take it to heart. If they blame you for anything, then turn around and walk away. Better to be a little anxious over a situation in your life than to want to commit suicide because of being blamed for that situation.

* “Michelle” is not the actual name of the counselor, although Rachel felt all should be given the true name of the counselor to be protected from her. “Rachel” is not the name of the woman who experienced this event; her name was changed to protect her confidentiality.

Homeopathy, Thoughts and Emotions

The emotions a person feels is usually a result of the person’s thoughts. Rarely does an emotion occur before the thinking. On occasion, a person may have an emotional outburst without knowing why; but often if the person thinks about it, a thought process can be found.

People react to their environment and situations in their lives based on past experiences; those experiences contribute to thought formation. For example, a woman who was scorned by her husband tells herself that she would never trust a man again. The decision to not trust a man again is a thought process; the emotion behind it could be anger, resentment, sorrow, or some combination.

With Homeopathy, the practitioner works to understand the thought processes that are contributing to the ailments in the patient. The mind is very powerful and can wreak havoc on health just as much as chemicals, poor dietary choices, cigarette smoking, and so on. In many respects, the thoughts can start a person down the disease path.

Homeopathic Medicines, when given accurately, can help the person understand the thoughts behind the illnesses and emotional turmoil. The Medicines can help the person see what they could not see before.

When looking to heal, call a Classical Homeopath. They will listen to you.

Best wishes,
Dr. Ronda

Disclaimer: The information provided by Dr. Ronda is for educational purposes only. It is important that you not make health decisions or stop any medication without first consulting your personal physician or health care provider.