Dear Dr. Romance:

I had a really bad ending on my last relationship we were engaged. I moved into another relationship a month after he ended it. I was very lonely and my new relationship seemed perfect. Now I'm starting to get mixed emotions about my man. We have been together now 1 year. I do love and care about him. But it isn't the love i felt for my ex-fiance. I'm not sure what I see with the future. This man is very in love with me and has recently told me he could see us having a family together. I do not see that. I'm not sure what to do. Should I say in this relationship even though my feelings aren't as strong as his? Or should we end it?

Dear Reader:

Please don't be too quick to end this relationship. If you love and care about him, and you enjoy each other, you have the basic ingredients for a successful relationship. Love is not a competition, and you'll find your love will grow if you work together to solve problems and build a life. Make sure you're not running because you're afraid of the responsibilities of commitment and family. "10 Reasons for Not Falling in Love" will help you figure out if your fears are really related to this relationship or not. No relationship is perfect at the beginning. You two can develop the necessary skills to go through life together.  "Couples Can Cooperate for Success"  will teach you skills for turning your doubt into commitment.  Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences has exercises and information to help you learn to appreciate each other and maximize your love. If you do end the relationship, I recommend you wait at least a year before starting another. You need to figure out how to relate to yourself.  "Dating after Divorce, Breakup or Loss"  will help you understand why this is important.

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For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.