Dating Gay Men with HIV Positive

Last night, I wanted to watch something wrong eating dinner at home and I stumbled upon this show that I guess I didn't even know I texted until I just stumbled upon it last night, but it was called finding Prince Charming and it was basically like a rip off of The Bachelor and it was basically The Bachelor but with gay men and I was surprised that I had never heard of it because that seems like you know kind of a revolutionary show. I've always wondered why there hasn't been a gay bachelor, and because the whole season was available like I said, aired a few a year or two ago, I only watched the first episode and the final few episodes the guy who was chosen at the end. the guy that the bachelor was at Prince Charming decided was HIV-positive, and I thought about it. I was like, wow, that first off, I thought it was a beautiful thing because she would pick a guy with HIV to be the final guy standing, and then didn't see it as a barrier right.

That was a cool thing, but then I thought if I were in his shoes, is that something that I would do, and I felt terrible about it, but the truth is, as soon as I found out a guy had HIV. I don't think I'd be able to date him, and I felt kind of bad about it because I don't like to a lien eight people. Especially other gay men, but it would just be a deal-breaker for me like I don't think I could date somebody with HIV. I've never been in a relationship. so to think like especially now I'm in my mid-20s if that was my first relationship like that's too heavy for me to deal with the guy was HIV.

You know there's prep now, and there are different options. I know plenty of gays who take a pill every day they take prep every day for anybody who's not sure where I'm talking about prep is a drug that's now on the market, and they're many gay men who take it and basically if you are having sex with someone with again. It significantly decreases your chances of contracting HIV from that person. It would seem that it's a hundred percent effective. Still, they can't market it that way for obvious reasons because you know what if they got a lawsuit on their hands or you know it's still considered? I understand it's still considered, you know, in the experimental or maybe not the testing phase. However, it's still not a hundred percent conclusive.

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A lot of gay men take it, and a lot of gay men trusts it, and I know that's an option, but I could never, at least at this time in my life, I can't imagine dating somebody with HIV, and it got me thinking too a few years ago when I matched with this guy on an online HIV dating site.

This guy seemed perfect like she was a beautifully handsome man, stereotypical like an Australian man. He was Australian, just tall, really beautiful, really lovely adventurous, and his profile was so Evert and so charming and successful. You know he was a professor and white, so it's like you can't get sexier than this. We exchanged a few messages. Some of the questions were like are you know your HIV status or something like that, and he had marked I'm HIV positive? My heart just sank because I was like, oh like, what do I do with this information. I've already started talking to the guy, and you know I thought about it. I remember asking a few friends straight friends what they thought about this. They were all ruthless like one of them was like that it's his loss stop talking to him, cut it off no responses, nothing just cut it off somebody else said something similar they were like, all right well it's not going to work out.

I was very sympathetic, and I said, look, you seem great if you're open to friendship, let me know. He sent a long message back saying, you know I appreciate your honesty, but you know, just said why you're going to encounter other men with HIV because, in New York, I think he said something like a third of gay men have HIV thought was alive. There's no way that a third of men in New York in any city are HIV positive. That to be ridiculous to me.

Still, it was like he said investors are slightly defensive. Still, I'm sure he's used to this experience of people rejecting him because of his status. so I just kind of was like, okay, I'll take it. After that, he was like, you know text me you know you want to hang out over and be friends whatever, and I did, and then he ended up being I didn't dig him like he wasn't very responsive, and I followed up a few weeks after I hadn't heard from him and he was like. I forgot what you look like, and he sent me not a slew of pictures of himself. I just got to rub me the wrong way because I had already established we weren't going to date. So I didn't understand what he said. He liked shirtless pics and stuff, and it just felt like he was looking for hook-up points.

I stopped talking to him. He rubbed me the wrong way but the show last night reminded me of him. It reminded me of that situation and how it just was a deal-breaker for me. If you're allowed to dislike, you're allowed to not be into what you're not into. It's one of those things that made me feel like I was contributing to the judgment within the gay world.

Do you know what I mean? I'm curious to hear if you guys have ever been in that situation where you met somebody we were into, and they had HIV, or it's something you would ever consider. I've had other friends in similar situations. I had friend years back, like five years ago, who was in bed with somebody and at they're in bed kissing and doing whatever the guy was like. You know I have HIV, right, and I think that's so much more intense than my story that I can even imagine what you do in that situation and what you say. I think it's still way more prevalent in the gay world than a lot of people.

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