Absolute trust is the cornerstone for cultivating intimacy in our relationships. True intimacy is based on mutual absolute trust and requires that both people are willing to be open, vulnerable and uninhibited with each other. Moreover, we find that the more we open ourselves, the more we receive, which creates a cycle of trust, love and intimacy that continually replenishes itself.

Cultivating intimacy in our relationships requires eliminating "emotional baggage." Most people enter into a relationship with this baggage feeling more like a trunk than a carry-on bag, and filled with all the emotions they have accumulated and never released because they haven't felt safe enough. Creating a safe environment, we can let go of our fears and instead open ourselves to the healing energy that comes with this level of trust. If we feel uncomfortable telling someone our vulnerabilities, concerns, or desires, we need to assess the level of trust in ourselves and in the relationship. To develop true intimacy, we have to freely express ourselves without censorship and listen to the other person without judgment.

Developing a deeper intimacy with ourselves and others means taking off our protective armor, surrendering to absolute trust and allowing ourselves to communicate heart to heart. Many of us are afraid of exposing our vulnerabilities so we hide behind our identity and shut down our hearts. These barriers to intimacy are further reinforced by our difficulty with clear, truthful communication which makes us feel misunderstood or alienated. Sharing heartfelt feelings can be difficult, especially for those who tend to isolate themselves, and perceive everyone and everything as a potential threat to their survival. Reactive, they become David with a slingshot ready to slay Goliath whenever or wherever he may appear. They act this way habitually, exploding when angry and covering up our wounds through avoidance and denial. We see this with incidents of rage increasing dramatically on the road, in the workplace, and in homes among otherwise composed individuals.

To foster deeper levels of intimacy, we start by openly communicating in our relationships, revealing things that are most sensitive to us. This freedom of expression does not constitute license to hurt or demean, or use the other person as a toxic dumping ground. We have to be courteous, showing that we respect them regardless of their opinion or point of view. Interestingly, the Native American way of relationship is often depicted not as two lovers stepping out of their individual canoes into a third, but as two warriors ensuring that their canoes are connected by rainbows. Neither partner believes the other is perfect; but rather there is mutual unconditional loving acceptance of each other's being.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Debra L. Reble is a licensed psychologist with expertise in the areas of individual and relationship counseling. She earned her doctorate in 1993 at Kent State University where she also taught courses in their school psychology program.

As a therapeutic intuitive, Dr. Reble also specializes in energetic healing, meditation, and guides people on their pathway toward personal transformation. She also serves as a life/spiritual coach providing information and supporting people through their life transitions. Her valuable insights and ability to assess and help people to release behavioral patterns and energetic blocks brings an enlightened perspective to human processes. Additionally, Dr. Reble focuses her energy through the heart center to nurture, embrace, and assist people in realizing their fullest potential.

Dr. Reble is the founder of HeartPaths of Cleveland, Ohio, a company that is dedicated to providing inspirational materials that enhance the full self-expression and well-being. In 1996, her company released Journey of the Heart, an audiocassette of guided imagery and inspirational music that opens the energetic pathways of the heart. Most recently, Dr. Reble released A Mother’s Lullaby, a CD/audio cassette that is designed to create a physical, emotional, and spiritual bond and enhance the relationship between mother and baby. Presently, Dr. Reble has published her first book, Soul-hearted Partnership: The Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy (2010).

Dr. Reble is also a director with Foundation in Light, an international nonprofit and educational organization whose mission is dedicated to the full integration of light through the heart into human experience. As a director, Dr. Reble assists in presenting workshops, retreats, and consultations nationally to facilitate personal growth, well-being, and full self-expression.