Critical First Steps in Stopping a Divorce

When a couple separates or are about to separate, emotions are using running very high and stopping a divorce is probably the last thing on either spouse's mind, but this is actually where one of the most important steps to restoring the marriage occurs.

Giving each other space during this emotional time is critical even if you feel the "argument" isn't settled or you don't have all the answers to your questions. When emotions are high, people tend not to think straight, which leads to hurtful things being said which then can make stopping a divorce seem even more difficult.

If you and your spouse are having difficulty expressing yourselves in a calm manner then you may have to try other methods of communication. Writing about your concerns is often a good way to express yourself without emotions getting in the way. When writing the letter don't make a lot of accusations or bring up past hurts, but focus on "I" statements such as "I'm feeling neglected" or "I want to feel special". These are a lot more effective than statements such as "you treat me like dirt" or "you care about football more than me".

Stopping a divorce may also require that you see a mediator or a marriage counselor. This person can help clarify what each of you are feeling and keep things from becoming too emotionally charged. A good counselor will help you get to the heart of your issues instead of letting you and your spouse just argue about trivial matters.

Some marriages could be beyond saving but many others, by taking some simple steps, stopping a divorce from happening is possible. There was a reason you married your spouse in the first place and you can get back there again with a little communication and effort.