Contemplation

Love me the way I want to be loved, not the way you want to love me. If you take the time to know me, if you take the time and patience to see who I really am and not who you think I should be, then loving me this way becomes organic. Then giving to me what I need is what makes you the happiest,and you won’t bring me things I don’t care about and expect me to like them, and you won’t get angry and disappointed if I am myself and not the “ideal partner” conceived by your imagination.

If you love me, then getting close to me, understanding what “makes me tick” and what doesn’t is so important to you, that you give up your preconceived ideas of what I should be like and instead - really listen.

You pay attention.

You take the time.

Loving me the way I need to be loved is easy, if it’s me that you love, not the projected version of me. If I am a woman, then not the projected version of how a woman should be. If I am a man, then not an imagined, expected image of what a man should be.

If you love me, you rejoice in the quirks of my individuality. You rejoice in my freedom and I know: you see me, you are here, you understand. What makes me unique is what makes your heart leap for joy. You do not try to change me into somebody else to fit your expectation. Your love gives me permission to make mistakes, it does not judge me, and it doesn’t lie to me either.

And I? What happens to me when you treat me this way?

I relax. I can finally take a breath. I do not have to walk on eggshells to try to please you. I can be myself and not fear losing your love. And I feel safe with you. Safe. So critically important. So underestimated at times, and yet so utterly essential. For you see, how can I show you myself and my weaknesses, if it is not safe for me to do so? If insteadof trying to understand and help me heal, you want to change me one more time? I feel safe with you, and I learn to trust you. I become more and more vulnerable. I open my heart to you and I show you myself. Because, my love, I know you will not hurt me, I know you will not humiliate me. I am safe. I see the pleasure it gives you just to seeLove me the way I want to be loved, not the way you want to love me. If you take the time to know me, if you take the time and patience to see who I really am and not who you think I should be, then loving me this way becomes organic. Then giving to me what I need is what makes you the happiest, and you won’t bring me things I don’t care about and expect me to like them, and you won’t get angry and disappointed if I am myself and not the “ideal partner” conceived by your imagination.

If you love me, then getting close to me, understanding what “makes me tick” and what doesn’t is so important to you, that you give up your preconceived ideas of what I should be like and instead - really listen.

You pay attention.

You take the time.

Loving me the way I need to be loved is easy, if it’s me that you love, not the projected version of me. If I am a woman, then not the projected version of how a woman should be. If I am a man, then not an imagined, expected image of what a man should be.

If you love me, you rejoice in the quirks of my individuality. You rejoice in my freedom and I know: you see me, you are here, you understand. What makes me unique is what makes your heart leap for joy. You do not try to change me into somebody else to fit your expectation. Your love gives me permission to make mistakes, it does not judge me, and it doesn’t lie to me either.

And I? What happens to me when you treat me this way?

I relax. I can finally take a breath. I do not have to walk on eggshells to try to please you. I can be myself and not fear losing your love. And I feel safe with you. Safe. So critically important. So underestimated at times, and yet so utterly essential. For you see, how can I show you myself and my weaknesses, if it is not safe for me to do so? If instead of trying to understand and help me heal, you want to change me one more time? I feel safe with you, and I learn to trust you. I become more and more vulnerable. I open my heart to you and I show you myself. Because, my love, I know you will not hurt me, I know you will not humiliate me. I am safe. I see the pleasure it gives you just to see me smile. How much joy it brings you just being with me, seeing me go about my daily life.

No one ever loved me this way. Without wanting me to become different, without expecting something in return. No one ever just simply rejoiced in my presence quite in this way before.

I look into your eyes and I get lost. I don’t want to return, I can live there forever. Your eyes – pools of love, and they caress me. They know me with all my foibles and weaknesses. And they tell me: it is OK, I am wonderful just the way I am. I do not need to change for you. But I want to.

I want to grow, I want to heal myself so I can give you my best self. Because your love has lifted me higher than I’ve ever been, it has shown me myself the way I never knew me, and I want to bring that gift to you. Myself, my gift, I want to polish it, make it more, for you, for me, for us…

And you, you respond to me. You open your arms wide, and - you set me free. You don’t hold me tight, so I suffocate in your “love”. You set me free - so I can fly. And you are not afraid. Not afraid that I will leave you. You will be sad if I do, and certainly – you do not want it. But it is my happiness that comes first for you. Not your fear.

And I do not leave. How could I? And where would I go? I have finally found home. The home I have been searching for for eternity. You are my home, my love. This is where I belong. With you. Right here, in your arms.
me smile. How much joy it brings you just being with me, seeing me go about my daily life.

No one ever loved me this way. Without wanting me to become different, without expecting something in return. No one ever just simply rejoiced in my presence quite inthis way before.

I look into your eyes and I get lost. I don’t want to return, I can live there forever. Your eyes – pools of love, and they caress me. They know me with all my foibles and weaknesses. And they tell me: it is OK, I am wonderful just the way I am. I do not need to change foryou. But I want to.

I want to grow, I want to heal myself so I can give you my best self. Because your love has lifted me higher than I’ve ever been, it has shown me myself the way I never knew me, and I want to bring that gift to you. Myself, my gift, I want to polish it, make it more, for you, for me, for us…

And you, you respond to me. You open your arms wide, and - you set me free. You don’t hold me tight, so I suffocate in your “love”. You set me free - so I can fly. And you are not afraid. Not afraid that I will leave you. You will be sad if I do, and certainly – you do not want it. But it is my happiness that comes first for you. Not your fear.

And I do not leave. How could I? And where would I go? I have finally found home. The home I have been searching for for eternity. You are my home, my love. This is where I belong. With you. Right here, in your arms.