Calming Your Mind in Increments Series: The Importance of Taming Your Inner Critic

After an important social event, a public talk, an interaction with a boss or presentation in front of work colleagues, have you noticed an inner voice popping up…..analyzing (i.e., critiquing)…. how you did? Well, you have met your inner critic.

The inner critic is similar to a woodpecker drilling in the trunk of a tree, incessantly worrying, criticizing and ruminating about how you could have done it differently or better.

Your inner critic voice can be so persistent in keeping your attention on the negative; ….what went wrong. This voice can feel like it’s hounding you, resulting in early morning awakenings from a sound sleep, having an upset stomach or creating a sinking feeling in your solar plexus, inferring all is not well. You can even feel unfocused at work or home, still caught up in unhealthy mono-dialogue(s) with your inner critic.

Okay, this may be an over-exaggeration, but not by much! Your inner critic can feel like it is running your mind, heart and soul. It quickly moves you into reactionary thinking, feeling, and remembrances and in general, reactionary living.

The inner critic or ego-persona thinks it’s really being helpful. It uses the logic that by being critical, judgmental and condemning of others or yourself is perfectly fine because…. “It makes us a better person”, “It is how we can learn from our mistakes” or “It allows us to feel better about ourselves”. Let briefly examine each of these statements:

It makes us a better person – The inner critic rationalizes that through pointing out all of our errors and obsessing over our human frailties will lead to being a better person. What it leads to is being a more neurotic person, hypersensitive to every time you do something “wrong”. Focusing on the negative can lead to greater negativity.
It is how we can learn from our mistakes – One of the characteristics of the inner critic, also known as the ego-person (mentioned in Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam), is navel-gazing at past errors without the wisdom of the soul, your essential self. The inner critic becomes caught-up in the day-to-day human errors and does not have an understanding of the higher Christ standard by which you can live your life. Obsessing about our mistakes does not always lead to learning from our errors.

It allows us to feel better about ourselves – The inner critic actively thinks it is really helping, but in fact, it insidiously, tramples on your self-esteem and confidence. How you focus your attention after an event should be up and in (God-ward and soul-ward; not out-ward and back-ward). Focused attention is essential to calming your mind in increments. If your inner critic is putting so much emphasis on human frailties, mistakes, disappointments and comparing yourself to others, how does this equal being a better person? This mis-belief sets you up for sub-optimal living.

Yes, it is good to learn from our mistakes but it needs to be from a different perspective and standard than that of your inner critic, who finds many ways to rain on your parade. So, what is needed? As mentioned, an astute awareness on what to keep your attention on throughout your day, in order to maintain inner harmony and peace.
When there is a festering of ongoing agitation, criticism and disappointment in self or others, this creates “static”, “disconnection” and “disturbance” in your mind and inner world. Which in turn creates a disconnection from our Higher Source – God, Father-Mother God, I AM Presence. The analogy I used in Mastering Life’s Adventures, it is as being unplugged from your Source of Infinite Energy, manifesting in feeling lonely and discontent.

So your inner critic who thought it was being helpful, duped you into disconnecting from your inner furnace of warmth and wholeness, your soul self (and God Source), by it’s critical, condemning and judgmental ways. In a way you have created this state and therefore have the means to undo it as well.

You can reclaim your True Self, which is not the inner critic ….by being more mindful of…what you think about; what you place your attention on; and how you react and behave every day to maintain a state of a peaceful indwelling presence (creating soul connection).

Be the Watchman on the wall of YOUR consciousness (i.e., thoughts, feelings, behaviors). Be the GUARD that does not allow the inner critic to incessantly ruminate and destructively occupy what you think on and feel. This creates a barrier from what you most want in life – fulfillment, connection and a spiritual depth that provides richness to living.

Quickly assess a situation or event, make a course correction as needed and surrender the rest to your Higher Self to take charge over. Don’t allow your critic to dictate what you think about! Say “STOP IT” to that inner critic and invite God’s thoughts and grace to filter into your mind by asking your inner soul and Christ self, how might I deal with this situation at work, home or with self?

God’s messages may travel to you in many ways: your intuition or a book you pick up from a bookstore, a card in the mail, a comment made by a family member or work colleague. God has many means of expressing to us once we ask for assistance.

Calm your mind and put the inner critic in its place subservient to your essential or soul self. So ask your God Presence right within you to guide you in how to tame, and in fact conquer your inner critic. Better yet, ask your inner Source (God) to assist you with maintaining a calm peaceful mind, which keeps the channels open to your True God Self!

Questions for Mastering Life’s Adventures ~
How much energy is your inner critic taking up in your life?
What would be the unexpected benefits of taming your inner critic?

Be Your Best,
Dr. Judith