Bored With My Life and Marriage: Things to Do With Your Husband When You Are Bored

You want to explore the excitement of playing sex games to spice up your relationship. But there's only one problem. How do you bring up the idea of playing couples games to your partner? Will they want to play these kinds of games or be insulted that you think your sex life is boring? Especially in longer term relationships, even the thought of discussing or changing your sex routine can be uncomfortable. But playing adult games can be the best way to introduce fun new activities into your love life without feeling awkward.

Everyone wants an exciting and satisfying sex life filled with erotic adventures, romantic intimacy, creative foreplay and emotional thrills that bring you closer as a couple. But most people are shy about revealing the full range of their sexual needs and desires. Sometimes we just need a signal that it's okay to be frisky, playful and naughty - to give ourselves permission to release the controls on our sex drive. The key is to start in neutral first playing regular games to build trust and confidence. Then progressively shift to different levels of game play that include more intimate pleasures.

Here is a list of various types of adult games in order of intensity level. Try a few games from each category before moving on to the next. Adjust how fast you go and be prepared to go back a level if either of you get too far outside your sexual comfort zone.

1. Regular games like checkers, cards, billiards and bowling allow you to play and have fun together innocently. Get your partner used to playing games then slyly up the ante with a pleasure reward for the winner. Propose a simple strip game if the mood seems right.

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2. Romantic games are designed to strengthen your emotional bond by getting you to slow down and fully experience an intimate connection with each other. They can be actual board games or books with romantic questions and activities. Even a romantic massage or bubble bath for two can create intense feelings between you. These loving exercises will increase your level of trust so you both feel safe with each other.

3. Relationship games help you discover more about each other by getting you to talk openly about your life together. As we grow and change, ensure you keep your communication flowing so you don't drift apart. Play these games to find new interests or activities you can do together - more challenging the better your bonding.

4. Erotic games have an adult theme that may be funny, based on sexual trivia or intended to arouse your mind. Gaining more sex knowledge and seeing how your partner reacts to certain erotic subjects can make you a more understanding and sensitive lover. Play these just for fun - some can also be played with friends to get a new perspective on how other people think and feel about sex.

5. Bedroom games provide ways to randomly mix up and combine different types of sensual pleasuring. These foreplay games allow you to playfully delay sex while you stimulate and arouse each other in new ways. You may be encouraged to experiment with new sex positions or techniques - things you might not allow yourself to do if it wasn't part of the game. Become more aware of what you both enjoy and gain confidence in your creative lovemaking skills.

6. Role play games are more advanced types of sex play where you explore fantasies and secret desires. By pretending to be different characters acting out a passionate scene, you can release your inhibitions and explore hot sex with wild abandon. Start with simple scenarios you find in movies or books together. Try them using just your imagination first before buying costumes and props.

Laughing and playing together is always good for your relationship. When your fun and games lead to sensual pleasure and amazing sex, you are definitely on the right track. Start slow, gain trust, build confidence and your lover will eagerly play more couples games with you.

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When you are dating and are in love you think that you can have a marriage that is going to last forever. When you find yourself in a difficult marriage you just don't know what to do, you are suffering and don't know what to do to make it better. In the beginning it felt like the two of you were one and now the two of you seem like strangers and don't know where to turn.

When you first get married it seems like everything is falling into place and everything makes sense. Once you find yourselves having problems and struggling to communicate you are searching for a lifeline to make everything OK again.

There are things you can do to save your marriage:

1. Get Counseling:

Some people do not want to confide in a marriage counselor, they think that it shows weakness. Marriage counseling can be a big help with helping you not only find resolution to your conflicts but will help the two of you find ways to grow closer together. Marriage counseling will show you how to communicate with each other and solve your conflicts and a way to discuss your problems that you come to a mutual agreement.

Marriage counseling will also help to find better way to communicate with each other so you don't start blaming and attacking each other. You could find out that one of you has some personal issues that is putting your relationship at risk. It may be advised that that person seek individual help to help them deal with those issues and inadvertently help the marriage to thrive.

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2. Get Perspective:

If the marriage in crisis, it is to get some perspective on what is actually happening in the marriage.This is one area that a marriage counselor will be helpful because it will help you to look at things and situations from other perspective.

Getting prospective from another person will really help you to see what is wrong with your marriage. You will be able to get perspective from other angles and that will be very helpful in fully understanding what is happening in your situation so that you can than save your failing marriage.From where you are standing things may look pretty clear. However, once you are able to see from another angle, things that you could not understand before may make a lot of sense.

3. Get Resolve:

Once you have been able to get some perspective on the crisis at hand and are getting counseling, you will have a lot of information and ideas as your disposal. Those will help repair the damage that is done. IF you are able to act on it. Knowing what to do and how to make your marriage better is half the battle but no battle half fought was ever won.

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First things first, you and your spouse need to take a moment and talk about how your marriage needs some work. The way you guys communicate to each other needs to change. At one point in the relationship, you guys would never have ever dreamed of treating each other the way you guys talk to each other now. I don't know what your current situation is, but if your marriage is falling apart because of how you guys talk (or don't talk) to each other, this needs to change.

"I" Statements Vs. "You" Statements

When saying something to your spouse that could illicit a fight, I highly suggest using "I" statements rather that "You" statements. "You" statements are debatable and can easily make your spouse feel they need to defend themselves. If you use "I" statements, it's a lot harder for your spouse to disagree with how YOU FEEL. They will evaluate what they did to make you feel this way and think of more resourceful ways he or she could have put it. For example "I feel as if I do all the house work around here" will go over better than "You never help clean the house." See the difference there? Just by changing how you address problems could really help how you and your spouse communicate.

Timeout For Yourself

If your in a heated argument, it's always best to take a walk or a breather before you guys continue. This way, when you guys do talk about the problem, all that anger can dissipate and prevent you from saying hurtful and irrational things. So many arguments that do escalate to a full blown shouting match could make you both feel worse before the fight even began. Knowing when to take a break and cool off before you say anything else can really prevent words that will be impossible to take back from coming out of your mouth.

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Take Turns to Speak

What you can do is to allow each other to have a conversation without interrupting each other. If you interrupt your spouse when they are talking, it simple means that what you have to say is more important that what your spouse is saying. There are many people have this bad habit when they are talking. This is very rude and disrespectful. One of the good tip to know in saving marriage is allowing each other to speak and be heard. What you can do is stop yourself when you are about to do it. This will take a lot of practice to get this right.

Understand You Can't Control Their Feelings or Opinions

Most arguments happens because each person is trying to convince the other that they are right. Really listen to your spouse and try to understand where they are coming from.

Accept the reality that you and your spouse won't always agree on anything. There are no two people that no matter how in love they are with each other can always agree on anything. When you accept this sooner in your marriage, you can have more productive fights instead of damaging ones. This can also show that you give respect to your spouse because you allowed your spouse to have a personal opinion. This means that you recognize your spouse as a separate person that can have their own unique perspective.

Ultimatums=Death of a Marriage

The last advice that you can have for a save marriage advice when having a difficult conversation is avoiding the all-or-nothing kinds of statements. If you start using extreme words like never or always then you are just getting yourself into hot water. You and your spouse can save a lot from grief if you remember that there a lot at stake in between those extreme words.

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One of the reasons that wives hesitate to try new things in their relationship is for fear of how their husbands will react. If they do something and their husbands get upset, they conclude they did the wrong thing. If their husbands are pleased they believe they are doing the right thing. In many marriages, following this pattern will lead to relationship failure. A husband's anticipated reaction to a new idea or a new change is not a good way to tell if that idea or change would be beneficial.

Naturally, everyone wants their lives and their relationships to get better and better. At the same time, people hesitate to make the necessary changes which will improve their relationships and lives. Change is sometimes scary because we don't know how other people will react. Relationship coaches point out that although all change carries some risk, the greater risk is usually to do nothing. Procrastination and short term comfort often leads to long term misery.

We do need to be wise in our efforts to improve our relationships and lives. The kind of changes that we need to be most concerned about making are not changes which other people will not like, but rather changes which will actually be harmful to them. There is a world of difference between someone not liking something and it being harmful to them. To have a great relationship and peace of mind, you must be able to distinguish between the two.

For example, if you decide that once a week you are going to go out with a same sex friend for lunch, your husband may not like it, but it would not harm him. In fact, in the long run it would be good for him because he would have a happier wife. He would adjust. Things would get better.

On the other hand, if you decide that you are going to stay at home so that he does not become upset, then you are making a decision that will actually harm him. As you give up more and more of yourself to appease your husband, you will grow more and more resentful. This will harm both yourself and your husband as your relationship grows more distant.

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To determine whether a choice on your part would be beneficial or harmful to your relationship (and thus beneficial or harmful to your husband), you need to ask yourself what the long term consequence would be if you did that behavior regularly. Staying home one time may avoid short term conflict. Staying home regularly may increase the emotional gap between you and your husband. Sacrificing your happiness for the sake of less conflict ends up sacrificing the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, it turns out that what is good for one of the partners is good for both. "Good" does not mean, necessarily what each person wants at the time, but rather the long term impact on the relationship. We can learn the same lesson from parenting. What is "good" for your child may not be what your child wants at the time, but in the long run will result in greater love and respect from your child. Give your child candy every day for dinner now and he may like you for a while although he will lose all respect for you very soon. When he does, it will take more than candy to satisfy him.

When working on relational goals, we need to be sure that the goals are directed at our own behavior and not that of our husbands. Let's say, for example, that you and your husband have very little communication beyond a few basic greetings and information that is important for the day to day running of your home. You would like to increase the amount of communication that you have with your husband, so you plan to start asking him about his day and telling him about yours. After all, that is a common thing that people discuss. If you make your goal, 1) his talking about his day, and 2) his asking you about your day, then you have not made good goals. These goals would depend on his changing. Trying to change your partner will get you nowhere that you want to go.

On the other hand, if you make it your goal to, 1) ask him about his day, 2) to use good listening skills, and 3) to show that what he is saying is important to you, then you have made good goals. Achieving these goals is under your control. They do not depend on your husband doing anything. Whether or not he talks or asks about your day, you can achieve these goals.

Not having to depend on your husband changing frees you to work on making positive changes in yourself. You can become a wonderful wife without ever making one goal for your husband. There is no more powerful way to change another person than to change yourself. I'm not saying that you should make the other person's changing your goal, but that changing yourself will result in others changing how they respond to you--including your husband.

Your relationship can never be destroyed by your doing something that is healthy and good for both you and your husband. And, although your husband could choose to leave you for any reason, that is true whether or not you make any changes to your life. It is also not reasonable to expect anyone to pat you on the back for making positive changes in your life (except for your coach!). More important than a pat on the back is your contribution to your long term happiness and the long term success of your marriage.

You can begin today to take responsibility for improving your life and your relationships. You have the power to improve both. There is no one that can stop you except yourself. By combining learning with action you can have success in reaching your goals far beyond what you are able to imagine.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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