Most people are brought up with an unhealthy attitude towards sex. The very thought of sex beyond 60 raises eyebrows. Enjoying a healthy sexual relationship beyond the age of 60, takes more than a physical desire. One has to undo all the taboos placed by traditional thinking and realize that sex could be a natural channel for expression.
A Natural Part of Our Lives
Before we get into this topic, we need to pause, get our thoughts aligned and start communicating on the same wavelength.
Since the moment we are born, we have this inborn instinct inside us about sex. This feeling lies deep-rooted inside us, waiting for a proper channel for expression.
In the journey called life, there comes a right time for the proper channels to open up.
Just as every seed needs to be cared for as it experiences the passage of time, this feeling takes time to bloom to a full-fledged state.
The thoughts, feelings and emotions felt and experienced by our mother regarding sex, are subtly relayed to our minds from the very moment of our conception.
Social Barriers
People in the age group of 60 and beyond, have been actually brought up in an orthodox setting. Sex was considered a taboo in their young age. It was never talked about. Now that sex is liberally talked about in this modern age, they are considered to be too old for it. In most parts of the world, sex is connected to marital duties. In some parts of the world sex is limited to procreation. In other parts of the world sex after a particular age, especially when your children grow up, is considered inappropriate.
Your Mind
These so called preset norms may hinder the natural expression of joy that is associated with the sexual experience. When your natural instincts begin to conflict with these social parameters, it results in a low self esteem.
Your self esteem has a lot to do with the way you feel about sex after 60. So let’s discuss about self esteem.
Your self esteem helps you to be in touch with yourself. Your quest for love helps you to do away with stagnation, and helps you to evolve. So, in order to evolve, you must be in touch with yourself.
The problem arises when you live outside-in and not inside-out. This means that the situations on your outside influence your inside.
Moreover, traditional teachings have made you think this way. For example: Your father or mother decides whether you are a good child or not. Your teacher’s decide whether you are a good student or not. And that’s perfectly OK! Your parents and teachers are supposed to guide you.
But the problem arises when you always seek the approval of others, and that dictates your feelings about yourself. You stay out of the limelight because you have stopped trusting yourself. Your joys depend on what others say about you.
You have wrongly trained yourself to think outward-in!
You become dependent on outside validation to feel good about yourself. If you don’t seek this validation, there may even be a sense of inadequacy or guilt.
Handling Age
Many people cannot handle growing old. Some may look into the mirror and want to look as good as they did when they were younger. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look younger, and maybe going to the plastic surgeon may also not be a bad idea. The problem arises when you feel all down and get all panicky about something that you should accept with maturity. If you want to be perfect, you may end up feeling guilty, lacking motivation and blaming yourself for everything. There’s no point fretting over something you cannot change. The truth is that you may never look like you looked when you were thirty. Here’s the catch: You can definitely feel the way you felt when you were thirty!
On the flip side, many people may use their age as an excuse for their lack of zeal towards the issues of life. A lifetime of worries has worn them out.
If you feel that your life is done at 60, it would never motivate you to have the right attitude towards sex. Good sex begins in the mind, so if your self esteem is good and you have the right attitude, the rest will be very easy.
Your Body
Another thing that plays a very important role in enjoying sex at 60 is your physical condition. Although our sexual wires are in place, our bodies seem to slow down. Most women let childbirth affect their sexuality. Moreover the reduction in hormones leads to a lack of sex drive. But let’s not make generalizations. Many women discover their sexuality from 40 years to 60 years of age. They have more time for themselves and are more relaxed to explore their sexuality. Men on the other hand can have great sex drives even at the age of 60. The problem could be a lack of sex drive on the part of their partners. But that is changing. Others suffer from reduced sex drive due to medical conditions.
At 60 you obviously are not a beginner. You know what works for you and what doesn’t. Even though you are well aware of which button triggers which response, your mental inhibitions rob you of feeling the physical pleasures. You still remember the days of your youth, and the great sexual tendencies you had at that time. You are the same person and may very well be able to enjoy sex now. Yes, things may be slower but it definitely will be good. Allow yourself to relax mentally and physically. Remember that your nerves are still in place and working. Those nerves can still carry impulses as they explode in your brain. Good sex need not be kinky. But being a little naughty could do you good. It’s just an opportunity to bond with your partner. The juices may not be flowing as they were in your thirties, but sex could be as good as ever. Nowadays many are resorting to medications that can enhance their sex drive. Once you get into the habit of having sex, your body may respond and make you feel younger.
After all, sex was designed to bring the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual abilities to come together in perfect unison, resulting in a kind of satisfaction that has positive effects on both your mind and body. And what could be a better age than 60 to achieve this state
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I trained under Terry McGlendon whose program is endorsed by the Royal College of General Practitioners and Applied Psychology in Australia. He is the only Australian to be part of the original group that studied with highly esteemed co-developers Dr. Richard Bandler and Dr. John Grinder from its inception in 1972.
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