No one likes a spouse who nags constantly. When you nag you drive your spouse and family away from you. You create an atmosphere of dread at home. After a while you even forget that you are complaining, it just becomes the norm. After some time, you find yourself looking around your own home and wondering where all the love and respect has disappeared.

Think about it: are you happy when you complain or are you dissatisfied? When you nag, do you always get the results you are looking for? The reality is nagging only results in unhappiness and never achieves the intended outcome.

To ascertain whether you are a nagging spouse do any of these characteristics sound familiar?

•You have a set way of doing things and there is little or no compromise.
•You spend your time comparing your spouse with your friends’ spouse and become more and more conscious of your spouse’s weaknesses. Thus, you spend your time complaining and trying to change your spouse.
•You do not understand your spouse and are incapable or unwilling to see things from their perspective.
•You are rigid and always want to take control of the situation.
•You fail to appreciate or look for any positives in your relationship. Instead you are only focused on things that are wrong or need to change.
•You are perpetually frustrated, have unmet expectations and always feel no one listens to you.

If any of the above resonates with you, you should be conscious of the detrimental effects of your behavior not only on your spouse and your marriage but also on the family and your home.

Effects of nagging

•Breakdown in marriage

oYour incessant nagging will create a divide and misunderstanding between you and your spouse.

oConflicts will become far more frequent and your spouse will often do the exact opposite of what you have asked them to do.

oOver time, your spouse will stop listening to you and your spouse may start to look for peace elsewhere and in other things.

oYour spouse becomes constantly uncomfortable or upset around you and thus spends as little time as possible with you.
 

•Unhappiness in your children and your wider family.

oThe perpetual arguments and conflicts will result in sadness and an upset environment for your children and for your wider family.

oYour children will learn from your behavior – and may replicate this when they grow up!

Absolutely nothing positive is achieved by nagging, so what can you do to stop your behavior?

•Change yourself rather than your spouse.
•If you radiate happiness then you will receive happiness. Similarly, if all you do is complain then you all you will receive is complaints!
•Attempt to resolve your issues with love and understanding rather than through self-righteous speech.
•Think before you speak.
•Pick the right time to explain and listen…

oLook at the situation from your spouse’s perspective, and for example, consider how your spouse may be feeling before expressing yourself.

oRemember that the things you find important may not be the same for your spouse.

oBe open minded and reasonable.

oCommunicate – talk and discuss things through.

oUse words that explain rather than hurt and be open to the outcome.

•Look for other interests to occupy you, complaining usually is a result of being attached to the situation at hand no matter how small it is.
•Remind your spouse couple of times about things that bother you, thereafter let it be.
•Doing Pratikraman (asking for forgiveness in your mind) that will instantly lessen conflicts or any discord and bring peace to you.

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan has brought peace and harmony to many married couples by giving them the right understanding. He has taught them that if they want happiness, they need to give happiness and if they want sorrow then to emit sorrow: that He has explained is the exact law of nature. Above all, He has preached not to use your mind, speech and body to hurt anyone living being to the slightest degree. In addition, if it happens, to ask for forgiveness through the weapon of Pratikraman (asking for forgiveness).

Please visit: https://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/relationship/live-a-happy-...

Author's Bio: 

Ambalal M. Patel was a civil contractor by profession. In June 1958, spontaneous Self-Realization occurred within Ambalal M. Patel. From this point on, Ambalal became a Gnani Purush, and the Lord that manifest within him became known as Dada Bhagwan. A Gnani Purush is One who has realized the Self and is able help others do the same. Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan used to go from town to town and country-to-country to give satsang (spiritual discourse) and impart the knowledge of the Self, as well as knowledge of harmonious worldly interactions to everyone who came to meet him. This spiritual science, known as Akram Vignan, is the step-less path to Self-realization.