Have you ever wanted something so badly that your days and nights were spent dreaming about it? No matter what you were doing, your thoughts would eventually travel back to that “thing” you coveted. Then the day would finally come—the Day of Acquisition. You felt beyond excited. There were no words to express your joy, your gratification. Fast forward...
The days pass as they always do. And while you still might be excited, it’s not “beyond” excited. Maybe your acquisition is a new car—one that you wash every single weekend, or maybe it's a brilliant Rolex that catches everyone’s eye. It may even be an envy-producing engagement ring. In this world full of things, a plethora of eye-catchers can captivate your fancy.
Then more days pass. You no longer wash your car every weekend. You’re busy, after all. You decide to save the Rolex for special occasions. And the ring, it’s just on your finger now. Nothing to write home about. What happened? Where has all the excitement gone? It's there, but it has faded, just like everything does. No joy or torment lasts forever. The emotions hit us, then they recede. That's the way of life.
Let’s say, though, that we do get everything we want. Everything! Would there be anything left to want?
Absolutely! The desire to have things doesn’t go away. No matter if you get all of your heart’s desires, you can bet that your little heart will be bewitched by something else. It’s human nature. So why do we keep wanting more?
Wanting more is basically an inherent feeling we all share. We human beings are constantly looking for ways to expand and express ourselves; we identify this with our physical nature. We believe that that is the only way expression can manifest itself. We look to get that fulfillment from money, status, vanity, external validation, power, and achievement. “Look at me, look at me!”
But are we ever truly satisfied? I think not. I believe that all the things we want, and get, are not an end in and of themselves; they serve as stepping stones to the next bigger, better thing. And the next. Once we achieve our goal, we are temporarily sated, but it’s never too long before that wears out and our eye wanders to the next possible acquisition.
The truth is that the chase is more exciting than the catch. And this goes for most everything. The thinking about, the dreaming, the talking…it’s like foreplay. Once the deed is done, it’s done. On to the next thing, or the next time.
Can we ever stop wanting? Should we? No! Is it a bad thing to want? No. It is a bad thing to say, “I’m not going to be happy until I get…” Therein lies the dilemma. If your happiness is dependent on getting the “thing,” then you will never be truly happy because it's impossible to acquire everything you want. Ever! If you think you can, and you're constantly chasing it, you’ll forever find yourself a prisoner of your heart’s desire.
The remedy? Keep wanting but be happy with what you already possess. The focus, perhaps, should be on expression and expansion, but from the inside out. Don’t allow for an external object to be the only source of your happiness. Allow your happiness to be fulfilled by itself, created within and allowed to expand so that it reaches everyone around you and beyond.
Rossana Snee is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She has worked with individuals, couples, and families. Her present focus is providing counseling advice during her weekly Periscope broadcasts (@askjoshsmom).
She is the author of, The Healing Alphabet: 26 Empowering Ways to Enrich Your Life.
Visit her at askjoshsmom.com, https://www.facebook.com/askjoshsmom, Twitter (@askjoshsmom), and Instagram (@askjoshsmom). She endeavors to inspire and motivate and to be a springboard for her reader's self-growth.
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