Acceptance plays a critical role in developing healthy relationships, which we know plays a role in impacting our health. Like health, relationships evolve and change too. Only that with health, we may get some physical indicators that things are off balance–but in relationships the “off track” qualities may be more subtle.

The quality or frequency of communication may diminish. Romance and passion may dwindle. Intimate kisses and the soft spontaneous caresses are few and far between. People forget to notice and complement each other as sexually vibrant and attractive beings. As a result, the level of enthusiasm to engage a partner or spouse may also simply wane. Rhythms fall out of sync. Left unchecked, these signs of relationship erosion can lead to dissolution of the core energies of the relationship.

Some people ignore these subtle signs and think that a relationship will just right itself without any effort other than just spending time together. However, it takes more than simply being in each other’s presence to overcome these signs of relationship erosion. When we accept and acknowledge that these challenges are occurring, we are then empowered to work together to transform those challenges into growth experiences to become closer.

Even the finest ship needs a bit of motor work and maintenance to maintain smooth sailing, especially amid an ocean of ever changing waves. How willing we are to do that work of maintaining the motor impacts our ability to sustain healthy and evolving relationships over time. If we shut down and stop talking when things get rough or allow irritability, anger, or miffed feelings to be the predominant energy, it stops us from extending love, compassion and true effort to push a relationship forward through challenge.

If we hold a belief that changes and challenges are opportunities to grow and create even more connected relationships, then we create commitments to make the time to actively and directly work on the motor of our relationship from time to time. We keep talking and working together to find ways to move through the rough spots as a team.

Our early upbringing and family dynamics play a large role in how we view and deal with relationship changes. If we grew up in a family where differences were viewed and resolved positively, we tend to have a style of feeling comfortable with talking through difficult moments and working in teamship.

If we grew up in a family life where arguments, withdrawal, criticism and harsh tones were used to deal with differences, then we may bring those negative patterns into new relationships when differences or conflicts occur. This style rarely contributes to a healthy and safe environment for this kind of volatility can alienate one’s partner or spouse and result in a feeling of having to walk on eggshells to avoid triggering the partner’s temper or harsh words. Thus, stress increases and a sense of nourishment from the relationship diminishes.

Interestingly, energy healing arts such as medical qi gong can play a large role in helping individuals transform deep rooted patterns that influence how they move through relationships. Unlike psychotherapy and traditional counseling, medical qi gong releases the energetic patterning that influences not only behaviors but our perceptions of realities, such that we are able to develop greater empathy for other people’s perspectives, feelings and experiences and as a result, show higher commitment to support and validate one another in relationships.

Author's Bio: 

Kay Hutchinson, CAMT, CAMQ is a certified practitioner of medical qi gong and provides qi emission (energy healing) sessions to help resolve relationship and health blocks.

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