What does the word "Mom", "Mother" bring into your head? First thoughts? Mine is a bit American style vision - a woman, mid age, wearing a kitchen apron, with a cooking glove on one hand and holding a glass of lemonade in the other. Brown hair, no glasses, no makeup. This has a lot to do with my mother, but it also differs a lot. You see - my mother is a businesswoman. She helps my dad run a company. This tends to interfere with many household chores which need doing. I wonder - what would my kids see in me when they grow up? What expectations would they have of me and would I meet them?
The stereotypes of a mother figure are different among various cultures. And among different people. Those stereotypes are based upon many years of propaganda through media and other sources, portraying a woman as a house keeper, a cleaning lady, a cook. We always have to appreciate what our mother gives us, her meals are the most delicious in the world and her advice about dating is always right. Sad, but this is not the truth about many modern mothers.
Many women from my generation, my friends, have already made certain steps towards one day becoming a mother. And this is a lot. All ladies try to be no worse than men in modern society. We see business ladies which run companies and do it no worse than men. Sure, beautiful secretaries are still popular among men, but women play a large roll in running the economy non the less. More and more they become ambitious, run for higher places, strive to become self sufficient and above prejudices of men.
This hard lifestyle requires adding an additional page to the list of things woman should be. Raising children is a big thing by itself, but now the responsibilities of a CEO can interfere. Stress is one big problem. Another is time. Children need caring, they need parental presence, especially at the beginning, through their young years. Ladies nowadays, concentrated on work, career, promotion often find themselves facing a choice - be with the kid, or be with your boss. Education system can prepare one for running a company, but parenthood often is something we all have to learn on our own. Problem arises when we women have to choose between something we have studied for five plus years and something that nobody prepared us for. This is a fundamental dilemma, between what we are used to and the unknown. Sadly, more and more often we choose the first.
And if there were no solutions to this issue with time, things would have been different, but there are. We see busy ladies hire babysitters, home cleaning services, order food home, skipping the cooking process. Why not? They can afford it. But how does this reflect upon the bare mind of a child? I live in London, in Hackney. While this being a good place to raise a child, I don't think that it's time. I'm still young and ambitious. I want to do stuff before I dive into the parenthood. How long will it take? Five more years, ten? Would I say when it should happen, or will it be spontaneous? I don't know which one I prefer.
One truth that I know though - you will be ready to become a parent when you wish to be one, not when you wish to have a child. Because being a parent is about giving, not about having. The semantics might be shallow, but there is a lot of truth in them. See to it, that when you are a parent, you put your child above all else. Because we all fail in life, somewhere, one day, and our children, are a way to redeem ourselves. To have a second chance at things. Don't waste this chance.
I'm an extravagant lady, with a great name. I'm not as cold as it says – in fact I rather enjoy life, people and all the troubles that come with that. I like art, or should I say – I like ways for people to express themselves. I write, I read and I listen a lot. I have to – since I compensate with a lot of talking. I work in a cleaning services company, as a maid, and have a side business of my own.
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