Why A Memoir?

Every life is unique. That sounds simple enough but, if you think about it, it is really quite astounding.

Most of us spend our lives living them, trying to get by as best we can, to be kind or successful, or kind and successful; raising children or growing communities or businesses, or all three. Most of us give very little thought to the uniqueness of our day to day until, that is, we think about writing our memoirs or journaling.

Journaling is something many of us do, but it is an activity that does not necessarily include the expectation of a reader. Writing in the broader sense, and memoir is included in this, always has the reader as an element. It is a symbiotic relationship, reader and writer, and every effort at writing is not only unique in itself, like the writer, but unique in its results because it is filtered through the uniqueness of the reader. This combination gives memoirs, especially those that are done well, a special element of creativity.

The memoir writer…

To some people, getting older, having an expanse of life and living to look back on, just naturally means that there is more time and more interest in documenting that life. So I was surprised when someone said to me “I don’t expect to have grandchildren so I don’t see any point in a memoir.” This was even more surprising because I know this woman has been active in her community and a contributor to local organizations for over thirty years. How strange, I thought, that she doesn’t know how many people will want to hear about how her favorite organizations developed and her part in them, especially since I know she is always interested in memoirs and journals preserved from earlier generations. The fact is, we sometimes have a hard time looking back at our lives and thinking of them as history.

Then there are the people who send their memoirs to LadybugPress or other publishers thinking that because they were told, “You ought to write a book” their personal stories are marketable. Most are not. A few are and the general guidelines for those would be: Does your story belong to someone the public is already interested in; are you a famous person? And does your story include proven elements, supported by academic or professional experience, that you can communicate well enough to help others with their own lives? Most memoirs do not qualify for these practical guidelines and the majority do not reach levels of literary quality that make them the exception to the practical rules.

Still, there is no underestimating the importance of memoirs written as history meant for a family or community. This is how we connect with the reality of our past. This is something we can give to the future no matter how simple or, seemingly, undramatic our life has been.

What are the differences between a memoir, a journal, and writing for the public?

Let’s begin with writing for the public since I have already dismissed that as a goal of this article. Writing for public consumption must follow certain constrains of style and language. There is an expectation of structure that even the most foreign reader can follow and understand. The same is true of language, the standards of good grammar and word use is most important when the audience is broad and unknown to the author. There is also the question of topics: As I said above, a marketable book must not only have interesting content but value to the reader.

Journal writing is the most personal writing you can do. In this form you are the focus of what you have to say, your emotions, random thoughts, fantasies… and nothing else matters. It is a liberating form and ideal for any kind of self exploration, including preparation for the other two forms, public writing and memoirs.

Then, there is memoir writing. A memoir is neither of the other forms, but the best memoirs combine features of each. A memoir is meant to be read by other people and, though some writers simply pass along their journals, I think it should be more formal than that. Structure and concern for language are necessary whenever we communicate with others. Yet, this communication is not at the distance we call public. It is still meant for an intimate circle of relatives, friends, or people who already have a common experience or interest.

How to start and where to finish