What Is Love?

In this day and age it seems that love has gotten confused in the jumble of every day life. We confuse everything in our lives why not love. The best way to describe the simplicity of love I will share a story from my personal life. This story is similar to “The man that did not believe in love”

There was a man who was lost in what he considered love. He did all the things he was supposed to do, he worked a job to support his family, he didn’t argue when he didn’t agree with something, his whole life revolved around his wife and his children. Their happiness was more important to him than anything else in this world.

He knew he was doing the right thing because everyone kept telling him he was doing well. He was called a good father; he was called a good husband, a good provider. He followed all the rules that were set before him and yet he was unhappy.

This unhappiness grew throughout the years and he became more and more confused. He could not understand why he would be so unhappy he had everything he wanted or so he thought. He plastered on a smile making sure not to let anyone see his pain. He was good at wearing this mask and had many people convinced of his happiness.

Everyone thought he was perfect and he struggled to keep everyone’s expectations of who he was supposed to be. He knew it was all a big lie and this weighed heavily on his heart, for he could not truly meet everyone’s expectations and so he must be a bad person.

For years he smiled and acted the way he was supposed to act, but in the depth of his soul his unhappiness grew to misery. He would trick himself into believing his lies but he always felt something was missing. He and his wife hardly expressed their love for each other unless it was a public display.

He had become morose and no longer had the joy for life that he had once had. He was but a shell of what he once was. His relationship with his children had soured too, for this worthlessness he carried had sparked into resentment and anger and would lose his temper over the smallest things. He did not understand what was wrong with him.

He kept looking for the problem in his life that was making him unhappy. All the things that he felt had made him happy no longer consoled him. He would no longer paint, he would no longer write, he would no longer live.

He and his wife barely spoke to one another unless it was idle chatter just to make the time go by. The hardly argued because he had learned to just stay quiet to avoid confrontation. They sat on opposite sides of the couch, he barely spoke to his kids and life was full of sitting in front of the TV.

One day he realized he was no longer in love with his wife. He thought about how he had to make himself fall in love with her. He was married and you are supposed to love your wife no matter what happens. He simply added another mask to his bag and wore the mask of love but underneath it deep down he knew that was just another lie.

One day he met a woman who was smiling but he could tell she also wore a mask. Intrigued by her he asked her questions about her life. She told him her story and the man quickly realized they had the same story. They became best friends almost immediately. They had so much in common and missed each other when the other was not around. They would spend hours talking about life and love.

One day the man thought about something strange. He had a feeling he had never had before he wondered if that was what love really truly felt like. He didn’t expect anything from her and he took her for who she was. She in turned loved being with him for who he was. He couldn’t wait to tell her but was afraid of what she might think. He told her and she felt the same way. But things were so confusing due to the situation they were in.

One day the man decided to tell his truth to his wife and let her know he did not love her. There was much commotion throughout the community because he had lied to everyone for so long about how he felt. He did not care about that any more, he had made his decision and was going to live for who he was.

The judgment and threats came from the community everyone told him it was wrong what he was doing, but he did not understand why they could not grasp how he felt. He felt like a victim in a glass box that everyone could see but could not hear. But eventually things started to die down and his relationship with his children grew and he felt he could be honest about who he was.

There was one thing that he withheld and it was driving him crazy with guilt. He had fallen in love with someone but could not speak that truth. He was afraid that if he did the community would take her away from him.

And so he kept it a secret, the secret ate away at him frustrating him and he felt confused on why he could not share his love with the world. The woman was afraid too, for she had much to lose if the truth were to come out.

Then one day the truth came out. The community sprung to action and took the woman away where he could not reach her. He did not give up hope, he knew that their love was stronger than anything he had ever felt. He thought about their future together and how happy he was.

One day he decide to take his heart and put it in a diamond. Now his heart was protected by the hardest substance in the world and his love would survive anything. He decided he would find a way to give his heart to her. He would give it to here without anyone knowing and he found her.

He reached out his hand and gave her his heart, but in taking the heart she felt fear and doubt and dropped the diamond shattering it to a million pieces.

Now there is a man who no longer believes in true love and a woman who believes she let true love slip through her fingers.

If we look at this story there are many things that were done that destroyed the love that was so powerful

The moment the man knew he was no longer in love with his wife he should have been honest with her. He should have been honest with everyone about his pain instead of hiding it for so long. We tend to hide our true emotions and feeling because we are afraid to deal with what would happen if we were honest. So then we never explore what our truth is, we simply hide behind a mask.

The woman and man were constantly living in some type of fear. True love knows no fear, when you are truly in love with someone you will walk through fire to reach them. That being said, they had no real love for themselves and although they felt genuine love for each other neither one felt they deserved it enough to walk through the flames.

The man putting his heart in her hands was a mistake on his part. It was too much responsibility for her to handle and too much of a burden. It was not the woman’s responsibility to hold his love. He needed to be so full of love for himself that it would pour out for her the way it had when they met.

Putting your heart in someone else’s hands gives that person complete control over your love and will set you up for much pain.

Love is unconditional, that means no expectations, no conditions, no judgment… Just love. You must love yourself, for how can you give something you do not have.