Every day people come to my counseling office hoping that I have some magical advice to give them to make them feel better. They come hoping I can “fix” them. I am usually not the first person they’ve seen. They’ve talked to their pastor, their best friend, and sometimes strangers. They’ve read tons of books and gone to retreats. They’ve meditated for hours, yet still there is that emptiness inside of them that tells them that something is missing. How could it be that after all that soul searching, studying and counseling the answers still elude them?

I can tell you why. Put quite simply, the answers aren’t to be found in a book, a person, or high up on some mountain top. The answers can only be found by being still and allowing. Allowing what you say? Allowing yourself to remember your perfection. Your divinity.

I know your knee jerk reaction is to say, “Nobody’s perfect.” That is what we are all taught from childhood, right? It’s something our parents tell us to help us accept our flaws. They say that because they have not accepted their divinity either.

All creation comes from a divine spark. When the book of Genesis says that God created man in his own image, it doesn’t mean that humans look like God. It means that inside of us, we all share the same divine spark. As we grow, we are programmed to forget. We experience many things that send us the message that we are unimportant, powerless, ugly, flawed, sad, failures. We are trapped by the ego that reinforces the belief that we are what we do and what we feel.

Think about it. The infant who can’t feed himself, control his bowels, or do anything about his own discomfort feels, “I am helpless.” The child who gets a low grade feels, “I am stupid.” The teen who’s face erupts with acne feels, “I am ugly.” The man who’s wife runs off with someone else feels, “I am unlovable.” The parent who doesn’t have visitation with her children feels, “I am unfit.” We encounter these negative messages every day. If the person’s life is filled with abuse, the negative messages can be even more horrible and reinforcing.

We go through life believing that we are flawed, imperfect beings who go from one suffering event to another. We see evidence of that in other people’s lives and our own. . What we don’t seem to realize is that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. The end to suffering comes from understanding that we are in control of what we feel, the plan is perfect, and so are we.

Let me tackle the perfect plan first. I know a man from college, let’s call him Mike, who was doing a lot of drugs and spinning his wheels. He got hit by a car and had to spend a long time in traction. During this convalescence, he lost all his druggie friends and decided to become a doctor. He succeeded in that and totally turned his life around. Had it not been for that “tragedy,” there may not have been the motivation to alter his life.

Can’t you look at your life and see negative events that made you stronger? Haven’t there been negative situations that propelled you to do something daring? When life is “just fine,” we don’t have the motivation to change. It often takes the bad luck to give us the will to get off our butts and produce! The plan is perfect.

That brings me to the control part of the equation. Mike could have felt sorry for himself after being hit by a car. He could have decided that he wasn’t going to walk again so he might as well take the prescribed drugs and stay high. He actually did have those thoughts for a while, but the frustration of being helpless and wanting something different was greater than his self-pity or sense of self-destruction. To anyone standing on the outside looking in, the outward appearance stayed the same. He was still a cripple in a bed, but his change in attitude changed everything. See, it’s not your circumstances but your attitude that determines your state. You always have had control over how you feel.

“All that sounds very well and good,” you say, “but if the plan is perfect and I am in control, then why is my life is such a mess? A divine, perfect person would not create such a disaster.” What you perceive as flaws is not a true reflection. You see what you are conditioned to see. You are not awake to your divinity. If you were, you would see that you must be perfect because the plan is perfect. When you can accept your divinity, you make conscious choices that take you where you want to be rather ending up in unknown places. You see that there is only free choice, not manipulation or victimization. You respect other people and don’t interfere with their free choice. Life becomes easy and fulfilling.

And how does one awaken to their divinity? First, live mindfully. When you are mindful of yourself, those around you, and your environment, you stop resisting the natural order of things. Things go back in balance. You achieve a state of peace that makes change possible.

Second, you neutralize ego by loving yourself. Like attracts like. When you love yourself, the universe begins to love you too. This manifests in better relationships, inspiration, happiness, and opportunities to use your talents in beneficial ways.

Third, allow the miracle to take place. Many people go to a workshop or retreat, get a lot of inspiration and start to see miracles. Then they get scared and say, “This can’t happen to me,” and it all goes away. Remember you have a choice on how to view things. You can see opportunities as evidence that you are manifesting miracles or you can let your negative programming keep you in a state of unconsciousness. If you choose to accept that something good is happening to you, it opens the door for more good to come.

Remember that living your divine life is not a state to be achieved and then forgotten. It’s a lifestyle. It happens moment to moment. Things will happen to drag you back down to your old, unhealthy patterns. Expect it, but know that this is either a test or an opportunity to get to the next level. Remember your divinity. You are in control. You can do and be anything you want. There is no book, guru, or secret standing in the way of you having this. It is already your birthright. All you have to do is claim it.

Author's Bio: 

Laura Giles is a therapist in private practice in Charlottesville, VA. She is a frequent radio talk show host and has appeared as an expert in many print media. She is the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs."