In most cases the problems and difficulties that plague you now can be boiled down to one element— People. People are the problem and likewise people are the solution. The problem may be a result of the wrong people or people behaving or performing the wrong way. The solution is the right people performing the right way.

It doesn’t matter if your problem is with business, relationships, family, health, or something personal. It all revolves around people and your interaction with those people. You can choose not to believe this fact, but denying it will only intensify your problems.

I have another piece of news for you that you can take as good or bad, depending on your perspective. In most cases there’s a specific person to blame for your problems. No, it’s not your parents or your spouse or your misbehaved child… it’s you.

You may say it’s all about how your boss treats you, or how you were raised, but in the end the consequences come down to decisions you’ve made and continue to make, or in some cases continue to avoid making (and thus make a decision not to decide). This may seem like bad news at first, but it’s really good news because you are the only person you truly have control over. You can’t change your boss or your spouse, but you can change yourself.

The truth is that everything in our world revolves around people. If you want to make money, you must get paid by other people. Even if you work with businesses as opposed to individual consumers, in the end you are still dealing with the people who run the company. If you want a relationship, you must learn to communicate and interact with people. If you want happiness and joy, I can assure it’s going to require having people to share with.

If people aren’t part of the solution to your problem, I suggest you rethink that solution. Likewise, if you are not a direct part of the solution, I suggest you reconsider your role instead of relying totally on others to resolve it for you. Perhaps a specific person is not performing the way you’d like. Is this person fully aware of your expectations and are you taking part in clear communication with the person to convey these on-going expectations? If you’re absolutely sure that’s the case, then perhaps you need to explore other avenues for achieving the same result. Find other people with more motivation.

More likely the problem is with your communication and expectations. More likely still the problem is with you internally. You may be frustrated by what you have not yet achieved, but are you grateful for that which you have? Are you happy now or searching endlessly for happiness? Are you giving up on your desires before fully exploring them? Are you spending your time dreaming instead of acting? Are you tense and on edge, ready to burst?

If your problem involves your own health, you may be thinking that you have nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the case, or perhaps your prior behavior played a role. In either case, what’s important now is how you proceed in the future, how you interact with medical professionals, family, and friends, and most importantly how you cope with your situation. Does your condition rule your life and your thoughts? Do you let it ruin your relationships with others and your relationship with yourself?

It’s time to relax and spend some time in quiet introspection. Be brutally honest with yourself and come up with ways you can make necessary changes. Forgive all the people that are frustrating you, and start over. Thank them, forgive them, apologize to them, and set clear expectations right away for the future. Commit to staying involved in the things you should be involved in, and take the actions you need to take to fulfill the expectations of others.

Are you angry at someone for doing something you routinely do to others? It’s time to let go and start over. Perhaps you are dealing with someone who is abusive or negligent, despite the clearest of expectations. If so it may be time to take charge and make a change in your life. You can blame the other person for your misery, or you can recognize your own failure to act and correct it by immediately standing up for yourself and taking the action necessary to change it.

Because people are at the center of everything we do, it might behoove you to spend some time improving your relationships and interaction with others. Likewise, it may be beneficial to get a coach or mentor to keep you motivated toward whatever measure of success you seek.

Yesterday was a great day to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. Today is a great day to take action in your life. Instead of trying to change others, work on yourself first. Stay away from life in a vacuum. Involve the best people you know in everything you do and you’ll be far happier and far more successful in life.

Author's Bio: 

Jeffrey M. Mims is a writer, coach, and entrepreneur from the Baltimore area. He is the author of The Relax Factor, a method for achieving success by seizing the initiative and taking action from a fully relaxed posture. He is also the founder of the exercise and fitness coaching web site. He is an internet & management consultant, a fitness coach and trainer, and a martial arts instructor. For more information on Jeff’s latest book go to For free workouts and fitness information go to To learn more about Jeff go to