The Napkin Dilemma

The dinner napkin has been around for a long time, centuries in fact, and it has taken on a number of forms and uses. When meals were eaten entirely with your fingers, it was the size of a bath towel. It wasn't until the introduction of the fork in the seventeenth century when hands remained clean and out of the plates and bowls that the smaller napkin came into vogue.

The larger version served as the doggie bag of the sixth century. Roman nobility, much like diners today enjoyed a little “take-home.” Banquet guests were encouraged to take their leftovers, wrapped in their napkins. In fact, it was downright rude to leave empty handed.

We now have two sizes, the large dinner napkin and the smaller luncheon size. In spite of the fact that we use napkins regularly, we're still confused about how to handle them.

The confusion first occurs when you sit down for the meal. Traditionally, the napkin is found to the left of the place setting. Occasionally, however, you may have to engage in a small napkin hunt. Yours may turn up in the middle of your place setting or it might be decoratively arranged to the right in your water glass, wine goblet or coffee cup.

The smaller luncheon napkin is placed fully open on your lap. The large dinner size goes in your lap, halfway-folded with the crease facing toward your waist.

The napkin is never tucked in your shirt or belt or in your collar to protect your tie. Presumably you are wearing a fine tie to make a good impression. Don't blow it by wearing a napkin as a bib.

The purpose of the napkin is to blot your mouth as needed to remove particles of food, especially before drinking from a glass. It really isn't used to "wipe your mouth," although that seems to be the common phrase.

When you excuse yourself during the meal, your napkin belongs on the seat or arm of the chair, not on the table. It never goes back on the table while others are eating. When you are the host, placing the napkin, unfolded but neat, to the left of your plate lets your guests know the meal is over and you are ready to rise.

At this point, avoid doing as the Romans---even if the restaurant has to-go boxes handy, the business meal is not the time to ask for a doggie bag.

© Lydia Ramsey. All rights reserved.