Soul Dating and Relating

Aren’t we all looking for the same thing--for someone to be there for us, adore us, treat us delightfully, be fully present and attentive, help out with daily chores, respect our wishes, have enormous fun with us and show us reverence and free-flowing love? YES! YES! YES!

Perhaps, some of us have become so disillusioned with the lousy relationships we have created in the past that we think the preceding wants are impossible, out of reach and simply a dream that can never be fulfilled. Why not allow yourself that dream for NOW. You can have what you want…the key is believing you can, that you are worth it, and becoming the person that you want to attract. Everything is energy. Haven’t you noticed that you can walk into a room and instinctively pick up there has been a fight because you get uncomfortable feelings being in that room? Likewise, you can step into another room and feel magnificent because something wonderful has taken place in that space. The energy of those incidents remains in that room and you sense it. Well, you too give off energy all the time like everything else on this planet. That energy is like the invisible electric current that lights and energizes our houses. You can’t actually see it but you know it’s there. You also give off a light that says, “This is how I want to be treated.” Your actions vibrate how you want people to treat you. Sometimes you shine so brightly that you could light up your entire city and allow anything you desire to be yours. Other times you shrink to the light of a single, small flashlight beam concentrated in a limited area, only to attract a minute piece of what you desire.

In order to get what you want, you must accept the fact that YOU are totally in charge and that your relationships are a reflection of how you think you should be treated. You get what you give off. If you are angry and resentful because your last relationship failed, you will likewise attract another who is angry and resentful, maybe not in the same way as you are but he/she will reflect your beliefs. That is how energy works: like attracts like. Haven’t you noticed that oftentimes you seem to keep attracting the same kind of people only in different bodies? The only way to change that scenario is to change yourself. When you look at what you wish to remove from another, check yourself first and see if that quality really lives in you. Then, acknowledge it and release it. By adjusting your own energy, you become the attributes you want in another and your world of relating will change dramatically!

Relationship Reflections

You are a combination of everything that has ever happened to you! As a result, all your relationships reflect what you think you deserve. Change those thoughts about yourself and change the situations... If you consciously or unconsciously think you deserve to be mistreated, you will attract an abusing, deceitful lover. How does this happen? We attract what we think we deserve. It’s really a very simple concept. When we understand this perception, we can then alter our beliefs and therefore, adjust the type of relationships we have been attracting. In our unconscious mind, there are hidden beliefs, very often misinterpretations from childhood. These thoughts might be: We are not lovable; We can never have what we want; It is too difficult to find that “right person;“ All men are cheats; Men are only interested in one thing; All that women want from a man is security from his money; W-omen crave for a man to take care of them. These are all ridiculous societal beliefs that many of us have bought into. We keep recycling these thoughts over and over in our head, believing them, and thereby create situations for ourselves that prove these thoughts to be true for us, even if they are untruths. We must first identify that we have these beliefs in our unconscious. The people we attract in our romantic relationships mirror these beliefs to us. What a wondrous gift they give us --we get to see what we believe by the people we keep attracting into our lives.
If we continually keep attracting someone who cheats on us, then somewhere in our unconscious is the belief that we do not deserve someone who is faithful and we are cheating our own selves out of having what we really value. Our belief mirrors itself back to us. If we don’t like what we see in that mirror, we can then change ourselves to attract what we want.
On Integrity...

Are you currently in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere and causing you to feel stuck and helpless? Why are you staying? Could you have misperceptions like: “I will never find someone else to love;” “I’m too old to start over;” “My kids need both parents to stay together;” “But...he/she really can’t live without me.” These are all fear- based rationalizations that we have been taught to use to keep ourselves stuck. NOW is the time to take responsibility for your feelings. They are telling and showing you something about yourself--that you have choices to change your experience--that you are not the victim of the other person. Instead, you may be acting as the victim of your own limiting thoughts and beliefs. You can, however, do something about it. You no longer need to let the apparent circumstances control you. After all, who’s in charge? First, start by being honest with yourself. If the relationship no longer works, it no longer works. Some things become broken to the point that they can no longer be fixed and need to be disposed of.
You have the right to live happily in the way that enhances you to the utmost. If you are not happy, you need to find those joyful feelings again, elsewhere, because it is your birthright. Give yourself permission to let go-- to move on, to dispose of something that no longer enriches you. What is best for you will also be best for your significant other too.
By being honest with yourself, you are now able to be honest within the relationship and admit you are afraid to make a huge change in your life. When you make friends with your fear and know that it is there to spur you on to better things, you release its paralyzing hold on you. You now become free to step into your new life and experiences, allowing them to come to you in the most delicious ways. Stop judging yourself as a failure. Know that relationships are here to teach us about ourselves and show us how we want to be treated. When you begin treating yourself as the priceless person you really are, your fears dissipate and unparalleled circumstances will show up in your life to offer guidance and assistance to you on your journey back to healthy relationships with others but most importantly…with yourself! You become that successful relationship!

Author's Bio: 

Jyude Allbright mirrors her relationship experiences with spiritual wisdom gained as a single parent, divorced female, teacher, addictions counselor, prevention specialist and NLP Master Practitioner. She is available for group and private sessions, workshops and seminars. She can be reached at 954-771-7282 or ( )