Rocky

I knew it was over the moment I started on the road back home. He had been sick for a very long time and fought so hard, but the cancer was starting to win the battle. It had started a couple of months prior to this particular weekend. Rocky's wife called me in tears to let me know that the doctors had done all they could do, and now it was a matter of time.

I knew he had heard this type of news before. But my friend and my mentor Rocky was a fighter. He was only 41 and i knew he would find a way, as he did before, to surprise everyone. When I arrived on that first weekend, he was thinner, but still the same positive and determined person I had grown up admiring. He was more interested in hearing about my life in Washington, DC than talking about his cancer.

He was happy to see me, but questioned why I would make a 4-hour drive back to North Carolina just to check in on him. He assured me this would pass and once it did, he would bring his children to DC so I could give everyone a tour of the city. As usual, he gave me the "thumbs up" gesture and everything seemed fine.

Rocky Gray was my hero. He was the first person who ever told me, “Set your goals and go for it, because you can have anything you set your mind to!”

At the ripe age of fourteen, I decided I wanted to be a deejay. My mother was a big radio listener and music fan, and she had taken me along to various concerts and radio station appearances for years. I was always fascinated by the people on stage, whether it would be the band or the deejay, and I absolutely loved watching how they would entertain and have a command over the room in that moment. I wanted to do that!

I wanted desperately a new stereo so that I could begin my career. It was just my mom and me in those days and money was tight, but I was determined, so I started asking in August or September for the stereo. To my surprise, that Christmas I did get a brand new stereo. I immediately turned my room into my own stage where I would play records and pretend to bring the crowd to their feet; I even took the bed out so there would be more room to perform!

In my bedroom performances I devised a game plan – a money plan that, looking back now, was my first business goal. I called in a few friends and told them the idea. We would take my new stereo system and market ourselves as deejays for wedding receptions, school dances, major company functions and more. I was convinced it was a big money idea!

I was going to see Rocky to get a haircut that Saturday (did I mention he was my barber), and after being impressed with all he had done in the business world, I decided he would be the one adult to share my idea with. As I was sitting in Rocky’s barber chair, I sucked up my courage and told him the idea. Imagine my shock when Rocky said, “I have a mobile deejay business that has been around for eight or nine years. I call it Music Mania!” Rocky? My barber? A deejay? Then he said, “I have two events this weekend including a prom. You should come along to take notes and get some pointers for your new company.”

Right there is really where it all began. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, I had officially built my first network, which we’ll discuss a little later in the book. Through Rocky’s mentoring and friendship I was able to set targets to gain business and make a decent amount of money as a teenager playing music and entertaining a crowd of people. I was commanding the moment!

All of those thoughts went through my mind again each time I visited him. But each weekend, he started to get a little worse. On the final Sunday when I was visiting him, just before driving back to DC, I stood at his bedside. I talked about all the places we could see when he finally got to visit Washington. But this time, there was no "thumbs up." He simply stared at me and I knew it was time to say goodbye. I thanked him and told him how grateful I was to have him in my life, even for a short time. I also promised to always “Set my goals and go for it, because I can have anything I set my mind to!” Well, almost anything. He just smiled and went to sleep.

The following morning as I started a Monday, the call came in. Rocky had passed away around 5am that morning. I was sad, but able to smile because of what my friend had shared with me. Without him as a father figure, I may be in a very different place today. So, I went to work and set a new goal in his honor.

Tim McGraw, "Live Like You Were Dying"

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."
"To live like you were dyin'."