REALITY INSTRUCTIONS FOR KIDS

REALITY INSTRUCTIONS FOR KIDS
By
Gandpaw Bill

“One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade” ~Chinese Proverb.

My oldest granddaughter, Hannah Banana form Metropolis Illinois (the real home of Superman, no joke!), reminded me (and I have to remind her she did this) that nobody ever gave her a set of assembly, operating or fix’n instructions to this thing she just learned about in school called “reality.” Hmmm. Gandpaw Bill here doesn’t remember anyone ever giving him such instructions either. What kind of deal is this?

Hannah is the oldest of my six grandkids—ahead of Hank the Major League Baseball player, George the Philosopher or Comedian, Joshua who is too young to know what he will be or just hasn’t told anyone yet, and of course Willie, who isn’t quite born yet. So I will tell her ten simple reality instructions (for now but you must realize this story will go on). That way she can teach the rest of the crew even if she doesn’t know what that word means. She didn’t necessarily agree to this assignment, already being way too overworked in grade school, but that is tough muffins Hannah Banana, This is pay back time for the humongous Winnie-The-Pooh Bear in your room that Aunt Abby and I gotcha.

Here is what you can work on translating. This is to keep you and your crew out of ditches, bumpy gravel roads, gridlock traffic jams, dead ends to nowhere, snow white-outs, double flat tires without a spare, running out of gas without a credit card or money, and worse things like road rage, psychotic hitchhikers, and bad directions from people who are lost themselves. Unfortunately these nasty things are part of reality, but enough of that. Onto the instructions.

1. Don’t be too fooled or concerned about this reality thing. It’s not always so simple as some people say or quite as messed up as others would have you believe (don’t worry about this fancy word either, you’ll find out about it in due time). You can definitely figure reality out without that much work. All you have to do is look and listen and ask good questions when you don’t understand. You mainly just have to take one situation at a time, figuring things out as you go and learning something useful when you goof up. Just try not to get too sidetracked about what other kids think or say because most of the time their opinions aren’t relevant (not useful to you). You’ll find out when they are (useful) about the first or second time.

2. You don’t have to get reality completely assembled before you know what you are building. Spend a little time thinking about what you are trying to make. And remember, it is okay to start over if you change your mind. My best friend once told me that if I couldn’t change my mind, I probably didn’t have one to change. That kind of got me worried, but not for very long. I found it near the baseball field.

3. You don’t always have to do something about this reality thing. Except of course, if you need to go to the bathroom. Then you need to so something. And you probably shouldn’t go places that don’t have some kind of bathroom (or toilet paper). But doing nothing is a good way to not have to do something.

4. You will undoubtedly (more than likely) hear the saying that “perceptions (a way of seeing) are people’s reality.” You can take this to your local bank in Metropolis: That is utter nonsense (no use to you). There are usually two main obstacles (things that get in your way) to seeing clearly—your mind and the other person’s mind (and mouths too). Keep looking for the truth (something that you know is so), between your perceptions and theirs’. That is seeing clearly. Just don’t ever take your own perception too seriously. Your eyes can fool you. Besides, laughing is very good medicine to just about everything that physical affection (hugging) can’t cure.

5. When you have time, between playing, going to school, eating, sleeping and dreaming, slow down (at least try to), and study what you are thinking, feeling and doing and the results (the things you get) that follow that string of things from all this work. That won’t really help you much for right now, but it may come in handy later on. Many problems (parts of reality people like to avoid) will come your way, especially when you think things are just fine the way they are. And the more solutions (things that fix problems and make you feel better) you collect, the smoother the road will be for your bicycle. Then you won’t have to keep pumping your tires up.

6. Fiddle with building and operating your own reality all on your own sometimes. It is hard (not fun to do), but it might prepare (get you ready) for when there isn’t anyone around to help. That definitely happens sometimes, just like other problems.

7. If you are doing something crazy (it doesn’t make any sense to your mom), like putting a toy together for your parents at Christmas, get a friend to read you (if they can; if not they can make believe) the instructions while you look at the pictures and mess with the parts until they kind of fit together. A friend is very useful in this respect, but remember, you will have to repay the favor. That is only fair (a penny for a penny). And later, when things get really bad with your reality tumbling down all around you, you will have someone to listen to your unhappiness (what you feel when reality comes tumbling down).

8. Whenever reality gets too insane (a little worse than crazy), do one of three things: (a) Take a long walk in the park or woods and just get lost (so will your worries and troubles) (b) find something to laugh at, or (c) get a hug from your friend (later on, mental hugs will be just a s good). Just don’t get too good at this or you may get more than your fair share of insane realities that someone, somewhere thinks you can handle.

9. Here’s the bad news: Sooner or later you will have to wake up and own the bad realities you made (certainly not on purpose!), even if somebody else helped you make them. This is because they aren’t gonna help you fix them. And by the way, when you are in a hole, quit digging. Just climb out. Bad realities happen but they won’t hang around forever, unless you ask them to. And I have to tell you, that would be worse than insane!

10. Now we come to this thing called ‘success” by adults. That comes after reality and these instructions. People make way too much of this and call it by all sorts on silly things like money, happiness, no worries, being smart and twenty other different adjectives. All you can really do is see wrong realities (mistakes that don’t feel good) and look for right ones (success that feels good). Of course everyone will try to tell you which is which, but guess what? If they really have it figured out they will probably keep it a secret. Some people just don’t like to share good things. They never seem to have a problem sharing the bad things though! Oh well, at least you will know which is which.

Don’t worry too much about not having enough instructions to assemble, operate or fix your realities when they don’t seem quite right. Nobody else has them either. But when you put your ideas together, well just see what happens!