Open the Door to Let Love In

Last night those words echoed through my dream state and when I awoke this morning I was determined to remember them and put the message to use. As a divinely human being and humanly divine being, I take them to heart. In this moment, they are more than a spiritual directive. They are a gateway to an aspect of myself that I find challenging to face, and that is the part of me that imagines visciously snarling guard dogs standing sentry at the entranceway to my heart. Rather than facing out the door, they have been turned in my direction, growling at me, fangs bared. If they could talk, they would be saying "You'll be alone forever. You'll never attract the love of your life again."

As a bit of background, I was widowed more than 10 years ago and have drawn into my life, wonderful and loving men who have not turned out to be life partners. I've learned that love is never wasted and have maintained friendships with most of them. For that I am grateful, and there is this wistful...and yet....quality. I have conversations with friends about the 'ideal man' or 'ideal woman' and they seem to be composite people. "Wouldn't it be wonderful," we muse "to have the combined qualities of all of the amazing people who have come into our lives, without those we don't want?"

This dynamic is true whether single, in relationship or married. How many of us would like to custom make a partner? Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, we aren't able to do that and as a result, learn about ourselves in ways we would not have, had our partners been 'built to suit'. Since it seems that everyone in our lives is a mirror for us and people come into our spheres for a 'reason, season or lifetime', then a partner who has some differences may indeed be our best teacher about love.

When we leave a door open, we allow in all manner of experiences. One of my favorite poems is by Rumi and it addresses this subject. It's called The Guest House

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Now who would welcome marauders trampling through their home? Who indeed? When we let love in, it sometimes brings with it, the accompanying fears and sorrows. I remember a training I took in the 1980's and one of the key phrases used was "Love brings up everything unlike itself for the purpose of healing and release". When we allow love to enter the home in our hearts, we make an agreement, overtly or simply by default, to invite in its aunts, uncles and cousins who may overstay their welcome. We get to decide whether to shoo them out even as we keep the door ajar for the next amazing visitor who brightens our threshold.