Networking For Wallflowers

It is no secret that who you know is just as important as what you know. In fact who you know may be more important than what you know because if you know someone who knows it you don't have to know it. Now there's a mouthful.

Knowing them is not enough. You've got to know them well enough that you can call on them. You may know Doctors and Lawyers. But, do you know them well enough to call them on the phone for a little conversation. Do you know what they like doing what their hobbies are? Do you know what's important to them?

Everyone in business and at marketing classes in college will tell you that networking is important. Very few will tell you how.

Most people think and even have been told that the best thing to do is to travel around handing out business cards. The thought is that if you hand out enough business cards someone will be interested in what you do. I do not believe that this is the case. Instead, I'd like to suggest that you think about this in the long term. You have to build a relationship over time.

Going to events, lunches, teas conferences and the like gives you visibility. That's only one piece of the puzzle. The other piece of the puzzle is credibility. Building credibility is really the key to the kingdom of networking. To do this you have to connect. You have to be impeccable in your business dealings. Trust is the one word that defines credibility. If just one thing happens that chips away at the level of trust re-building it will be hard to do. Later, I'll give you an analogy that I use with my horse training clients. For now I'd like to stress that it's called net-working not net-sitting or net-eating or net-walking around. You really have to work at it.

It's said that the hottest new place to cultivate relationships is via the web. I don't think we've seen the peak of this valuable resource yet. There are new networking sites popping up all the time. Here at SelfGrowth.com or Ryze.com, Ecademy.com, Facebook.com, Myspace.com, Youwie.com, Linkedin.com are but a small number of what is happening on the web. This does not even address the millions of forums, email lists and conference sites that are out there on the web. No matter what your niche, you'll find one. Diversifying has never been easier.

Are you one of those wallflowers who stick to their own back yard or stay on only a few email lists and stay there forever looking for that one person to show up? When you invest money it's important to diversify. By doing so, you can weather the fluctuations in the market. Don't put all of your networking energy into one or two baskets. Ivan Misner in his book Masters of Networking says that the more connections you have to different clusters the more well rounded your personal network becomes. This gives you more exposure. Remember that exposure or visibility is only the first piece of the puzzle.

The credibility half of the puzzle is more about dialing up familiar friends than cold-calling every contact in the address book asking for favors. Credibility is key. New contacts don't just turn up on the kindness card. Their respect must be earned. People have got to get to know you. They have to feel comfortable and safe with you and what you do.

Helping others is one surefire way to establish credibility. Misner says "Look for ways to connect with people and give them something - information, ideas, contacts" This is especially true if they didn't ask for the help.

Networking is a givers game. I'll help you if you'll help me and we all do better as a result.

In this game of give and take giving knows no bounds but taking can be trickier. When I say the word "Take" here how does it make you feel. Many will say "oh I don't want to take". Consider that taking is simply the other half of giving. And, you do not need to set the value. The giver sets the value of the gift. Just one more thing before I give you my horse training story. I'd like to suggest a slight change to the Golden Rule. I'll make it "Give unto others as they would give unto themselves."
This way, you can give something that has meaning and value to the other. And, it proves you know them well enough to do so.

A little story of Trust:

To move our horses we ask them to get into a Horse Trailer. Many horses have difficulty with this. We are asking them to get into a box and we're going to shut the doors. They must give up control of the one thing that all of their DNA says keeps them safe. That's their ability to move.

I like to give the analogy of trailer loading like this. Suppose I said I'd like you to get into a coffin. Don't worry dear, I'll let you out in time. And if you hear things like dirt being thrown on top you needn't worry about that either.

You might agree and you might not depending on how claustrophobic you were. I am very claustrophobic and I start to breath hard thinking about it. But, then suppose I said the same thing but I also said that you could get out anytime you wanted to. And, I showed you how you could do that. Your confidence would go
way up because you had some control of the situation. I believe it's the same with the horses.

Now you have built trust. And, with trust comes credibility.