Life Plan For Love: First Date Conversation Do's and Don'ts

It's time! You've won the date, you showered and prepped, and now you're here - at the brink. What will you talk about? The First Date Conversation can make you or break you. Are you prepared? Here are some guidelines. Write them on the back of your hand so you don't forget. (If you didn't know that was a joke, I'm not sure the guidelines will help you!).

#1: Ask questions.
A good first date conversation is one in which you make your date feel special. Think of questions that are insightful, but not too personal. "What do you do for fun?" "Do you like to travel?" Both are good for starters.

#2: Don't dominate.
You can talk about work, you can talk about hobbies, or you can talk about travel - just don't do all the talking. The first date is not a time to give your resume. It's the time to show interest in your date. Ask questions that will get your date talking and listen, listen, listen. Just be sure to add something relevant from your own life from time to time.

#3: Think of a list of topics.
It's helpful to come prepared with possible questions. Good conversation topics are; work, hobbies, friends, travel, brothers and sisters, school, goals, food and drink preferences, movies, music and books.

#4: Don't be dogged.
Be responsive to your date's body language. Does she like talking about her work, or is it depressing? Aim for a topic that's interesting and that makes her happy. A little bit of vulnerability or honesty can be good ("What are you passionate about?") but nothing that brings up too much unhappiness ("Why do you hate your parents?").

#5: Don't rush through the list of topics.
You're not taking a survey. The point of questions is to get a conversation going. If you've asked him about his work and he seems happy to keep talking about it, let him. Ask more questions about work. "You design dog kennels? That sounds interesting. How did you get into that?"

#6: Don't talk about exes.
Bringing up an ex may seem an excellent way to open that vulnerable side on the way to romance. It's not. The very mention of an ex is bad news and can cause the date to deteriorate fast. You're starting on a clean slate. Keep it clean.

And remember, it's just a conversation. You have them all the time. No need to enlist your friends in mock-date conversations full of insightful and responsive questions. Just relax, be yourself and have fun.

Copyright © 2008 Katherin Scott. All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this article may be copied or distributed in any form without the author’s information intact.