If you are looking for a relationship, it takes patience to find someone you can respect, whose heart is open to you, and whom you can be with without driving you up a wall. Good mate material is out there, but while you are looking, don’t waste your time and money on the Dirty Sevens. The underlying problem with the Dirty Sevens is a kind of selfishness that makes them incapable of giving your needs fair play. They lack empathy (the ability to put themselves in your shoes).

Who Are They?

Don’t give up your freedom and happiness for these guys and gals. They will always put you and your needs last.

Ladies, read on to see who these men are and what you can do about them.

1.ScarMan. Talks continuously about his ex and the past, to the exclusion of everything else, including you. You feel like saying, “Hello! You are out with me!” If you want to feel first in a man’s heart, throw ScarMan back on the dating beach.
2.SideMan. Married or living with someone, but looking for some excitement on the side, with no intention of creating a real relationship. Walk away, and don’t look back. He wants to use you. If it takes a lie, he will lie to get what he wants, without a thought for the pain he causes.
3.CrazyMan. Has so many quirks, a hospital wing of psychotherapists couldn’t figure him out. He’ll drive you nuts if you give him a long-term try.
4.GuyMan. Likes guys better than girls, but pretends to be straight. The fact that he is lying to you about his sexuality is what makes him one of the Dirty Seven. Let him go on his journey of discovering his true identity without you.
5.YAPpie (Young and Poor). Has the benefit of youth on his side, but not much else: no money, and no job prospects. You pay for everything and drive him around, too. Do less for him. He is a species of parasite that survives by living off women and will eventually move on.
6.OLMan (Old Loser Man). The YAPpie, grown older but not wiser. He has not provided for his future. He is looking to you to do that for him. He was lazy, selfish, and clueless in his youth and has remained the same in his old age. Do not get involved with him until you find out where and how he lives. Go there with him. If he is penniless, especially beware of how he lives.
7.BagMan. Difficult children from different marriages, some of whom live with him, multiple alimony payments, and lots of bitterness over past woes are just some of the baggage this man brings to the relationship. Give up on him before you are left holding the bag.

And now, men, read on about the Dirty Seven ladies to avoid. Some women are no angels, either, when it comes to selfish behavior and placing their mates in unhappy situations. If you are looking for happiness, stay away.

1.The PMS Queen. Blames her constant mood swings and disruptive behavior on what part of the menstrual cycle she is in. She is either pre-, positively, or postmenstrual. But whatever part of the cycle she is in, you are getting on her last nerve, and she will let you know with tantrums, grumbling resentment, and self-pitying crying jags, all aimed at you and why you are to blame for not making her life perfect. Let her stew. It is not up to you to teach her coping skills.
2.Needee Nellie. An emotional black hole of never-ending need. She will call you hundreds of times a week to receive assurances that you love her, will follow you around, and will generally make you the center of her empty life. Though flattering, her incessant need becomes cloying and suffocates your love.
3.Material Girl. Only interested in your money and what you can buy for her. Never grateful, she always demands more. Her empty mind is filled with consumer goods and her empty life with self-grooming activities. Gold diggers have been around for centuries and remain destructive and incapable of love. Pass them on your way to someone who can really bring happiness into your life.
4.Shopaholica. Incessantly searches for someone she thinks is better than you but will let you spend time and money on her until she finds him. Have enough self-esteem to know that this woman’s character, or lack of it, will never bring you a sense of being loved or appreciated.
5.The Wedding Belle. Spends all her thought and effort on the storybook wedding, but after it is over, lets herself go. She has accomplished her goal and feels that she need not make any further effort. Recognize her by her obsession with weddings, whether her own or her friends’. You will regret getting entangled with this dead end as a mate.
6.The Mom. Thinks that she always knows best and that you are one of the silly kids she needs to dominate and boss because you don’t know any better. Do not consider being happy with this type of woman, who must prove you wrong at all costs.
7.Psycho Babbler. Dissects the relationship until it dies of terminal examination. Insists on pulling apart and scrutinizing every declaration of love, like tearing apart a flower to discover its mystery.

Love Yourself

Care enough about yourself to avoid these people as mates. They have a lot of work to do on themselves before they will be capable of being loving, empathic beings. Be loving enough to yourself to allow only loving people into your life, and don’t think you will be able to fix any of the Dirty Sevens. It is hard enough to continually improve your own character and ability to love without being on a rampage of reform to change the Dirty Sevens. One of their characteristics is that they do not want to change their behaviors and expect you to change yours so that they can be parasites instead of truly equal partners in love.

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways2.html.

Author's Bio: 

June Marshall is the author of two love and relationship books, Booby Trapped: Men Beware of the Dirty Seven Sisters! and The Dirty Seven: Ladies Beware! She has appeared on television and radio and has given talks and seminars on the topics of mateability, behavioral standards, and self-esteem in the dating arena. She has also written numerous articles for various publications. Visit her on the Web at http://www.loveshowbyjune.com, or write to her at Newmedia Publishing, 94 Hawthorne Avenue, Park Ridge, NJ 07656, USA. You can call her at (201) 505–1133 or (201) 421–7145, or e-mail her at june@newmediapublishing.com.