Are You Searching For Something? You Are Not Alone!

One Way To Make Life Better is To Look Within.

I have yet to meet someone that wasn’t working on something about themselves. In the thousands of individuals I’ve worked with, met and connected with I have been able to recognize and connect with them because I see parts of myself in them. Often the parts of myself that I would like to improve, adjust or down right change are the parts that I easily recognize when I am with others. It is called the mirror effect and it is a way that we can know and be aware of ourselves. The mirror effect works in that we are only able to recognize in others what we perceive of ourselves through our experience. Have You ever noticed when You really like an outfit on someone it could be something You would find Yourself wearing.
What to do when you notice something about yourself that you would like to change?

First of all Congratulations, for being willing to see yourself in a way that allows for personal growth. It is usually the hardest first step and it means a level of acceptance of how you are today. Which is necessary before real change can happen because without acceptance you will continue working at the attempted change while beating yourself up mentally and emotionally. It becomes a nasty cycle of pushing and pulling and there is the chance of getting caught in the struggle.
Clarity is the next step to taking a change in yourself the distance. What would you like your outcome to be? Once you have imagined what you would like and how it would feel to have made the change; using visualization, writing it down, sharing it with others you trust are all ways you can give power to what you are doing.

Take care to make any change in bite sized pieces so that it is digestible and you are able to stick with it. A lot of set backs can become a big thick mental block to have to break through before you can move on. So for most of us success will come if we start slow and do a little less than we think we can. For instance, if you have never meditated before and are a very active busy person start with only a few minutes at a sitting for the first few days or even weeks and increase gradually a minute at a time even if your goal is a half hour every day.

Allow yourself to be supported in any way you might find would benefit you along the way. Accepting assistance is one way to value yourself and a great way to honour another. Most often we require the support to be consistent and non judgemental, so whether it is your journal or a professional coach, go for it!

Next would be recognition of any little step forward on the path and being grateful for each step, big or small, along the way. Often we quit before we get where we really wanted to go because we have neglected to give ourselves credit on an ongoing basis instead of just at the end when the whole change is complete. Be gentle with and gift yourself for going to the effort in the first place. Sometimes it is a good idea to share with others your experiences because they may be able to recognize gains that you might take for granted. Celebrate at every little success along the way to your desired outcome. This is one of the best ways to continue towards the change, feeling good about any and all challenges you may face. It increases the level of pleasure you may experience if the change you are working for is hard or feels like a sacrifice.

Change really can happen overnight! It is totally up to you how long the preparations to make the change take. I am willing to bet that if you make a choice to see yourself in those around you that change will happen more quickly. If you will be open to accepting who you are today as a human in process, chances are you will find reflected back the happiness and progress that you are looking for.

So the next time You see someone that is enjoying life and You can be happy for them then chances are You are doing pretty well for yourself and happy about it!