What do I want?

Sometimes we find ourselves asking questions such as... Do I really want this job? Do I really want this relationship? Do I really want to be rich? Well, I have a very simple answer to these, and all other "what do I really want" questions.

Look around. Whatever you "have", you "want".

Yes, ask and it is given. Now I know this doesn't feel good to hear, but it is true. If you a broke, you want to be. If you are alone, in a bad relationship, overweight, or stuck in a dead end job, that's what you want! Still reading? Good. Intuitively, this is tough to grasp. It reminds me of a great line from the movie "The Breakup", with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn. In the scene, she asks him to help her with the dishes right after dinner. But he has just plopped down on the couch, and wants to just relax and play a video game. An argument ensues, and finally he reluctantly gets up and agrees. She's not happy now, and he asks why. She says, "I want you to want to do the dishes". He looks at her as though she's grown a third eye and brilliantly replies, "Why I would I want to do the dishes?"

Because I Said So!

As a kid I would often pester my father with "why" questions. Especially whenever he said no to one of my many requests. After much deliberation, he would finally put an end to the discussion with the famous line, "because I said so". I am certain I am not the only kid who ever heard that one. And how many of you who used to hear that as kids are now using it on your kids?? But, this is a good example of how our mind works. When it came to voting rights, I'd say my father had 90%, to my 10%. Ok, he had 100%. Does that mean I was powerless? No. I could decide how to react to his decision. Perhaps I could spend time figuring out why he decided that, rather than fighting against the decision. Or, I could just accept it, and go back to playing with my electric train.

This is how the mind works. In the end, the subconscious mind has 100% voting rights. We can argue, fight, want, wish, beg, but we will lose every time. So, are we powerless to it? No. Again, we can accept it and go on enjoying our "electric trains", or better still, we can figure out why we want that. I say "we", because in the end, that is what we really want. And that's the good news. We do get whatever we want.

The best way to work with this is to figure out why. Our minds like to manage and figure things out. Use this to your advantage, and play Sherlock Holmes for a while. Let's use the example of my father and me, assuming he is taking the role of my subconscious mind. I want a mini-bike. The kind with a motor. He says, no! I beg, cry, whine, scream, pound the couch, threaten to run away, you know ‘em all. Still, no mini-bike. Frankly, my chances have diminished with every move I make. Does any of this sound familiar? Is this still how we are behaving as adults, but asking God instead of our parents?

My Dear Watson.....

So let's say instead that I decided to figure out why he didn't want me to have one. I take out a sheet of paper and a crayon, and scribble "me" on one side, "Dad" on the other, and then draw an almost undetectable picture of my mini-bike above. On my side I write that it would be fun. On his side I right that I would crash. Break my arm. Break my nose. Bleed. Go the hospital. Get hit by a car. Get hit by a tree. Chased by neighbors dog. Caught. Bit. Bleed. Back to the hospital....Ok, thanks Dad!!

Try this with whatever it is that you want. If you are broke, figure out why you want to be. Yes, you want to be, for some reason. Could be you want to rescued, you want others pity, you want to feel the need for God. Any number of psychological reasons that I don't dare try and figure out, but they are there.

The Good News!

Yes, there is good news. As soon as you figure out why you want what you think you don't want, the safe has been cracked. You are now in alignment, and the situation will reverse itself. Imagine this...."Dad, I figure that you don't want me to have a mini-bike because you think I will get hurt or hit by a car. Thanks for worrying about me. Ok, I promise that I will only ride it in the field where there are no trees or potholes. I will walk it whenever I am on the road, and I will only ride it when Mom can come and watch. And I'll always have my helmet on".
I'll bet my chances just went way up.

Until I walk in the garage and see that mini-bike with a ribbon on it, I'll be here enjoying my electric train!

Author's Bio: 

Rich is the author of "When Money Talks, Listen!" A book that shows how to attract money into your life, taught in a fun, unique, and heartwarming story. His book can be purchased for immediate download at www.mystermoney.com

In addition to being an author, Rich is also an associate producer for the newly released film “Whiskey School”, staring Olympia Dukakis, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Lainie Kazan. Rich also has been a top producing sales executive for 15 years in the financial services industry, where he has earned the Presidents Club distinction. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Economics.