Ruth Houston © 2004

Couples therapists report a 50% increase in female infidelity. The cover story in the current issue of Newsweek magazine is all about cheating wives: “The New Infidelity – From Office Affairs to Internet Hook-Ups, More Wives Are Cheating Too.” Yet, as widespread as female infidelity has become, many unsuspecting husbands have no idea their wives are having an affair. They often find themselves in a situation like David in the Newsweek article, who found out his wife was cheating the day she told him she wanted a divorce. Unsuspecting husbands are often surprised when they learn about a cheating wife’s extramarital affair. But, the stark reality is that if a husband isn’t familiar with the signs of infidelity, by the time he finds out his wife is cheating, it’s usually too late.

Women Don’t Become Cheaters Overnight

Yet many of the signs may have been there all along. A woman doesn’t become a cheating wife overnight. Infidelity develops in stages. In almost every case, there are numerous telltale signs along the way. In fact, many of the warning signs of impending infidelity are evident long before the physical act of infidelity actually takes place.

Know How to Spot the Telltale Signs

The husband who knows how to spot the signs of infidelity has a fighting chance to save his marriage. He won’t end up like John LeSage in the Newsweek article who was devastated when he came home one day and found that his wife of 24 years had disappeared. John said, “I would have done a lot things differently, but I never got the chance.” This loving, but unsuspecting husband never knew his marriage was in jeopardy because he was unfamiliar with the warning signs.

Identifying the Problem

The first step in solving a problem is knowing that the problem exists. There are certain telltale signs that serve as a wake-up call that a marriage is in trouble. A husband doesn’t need to hire a private detective or invest in sophisticated surveillance equipment to find out if his wife is having an affair. If he knows what to look for, all he needs are his eyes, his ears and his personal knowledge of his wife. Knowing what to look for is the key.

21 Categories of Telltale Signs

There are 21 categories of telltale signs, with numerous signs in each category. Of course, no can be expected to know them all. That’s why it makes sense to invest in a relationship reference book like Is He Cheating on You? in order to become more knowledgeable about the warning signs. After all, most families have a medical reference book in their home to alert them to the signs and symptoms of health and medical problems. The same thing applies to marital problems like infidelity.

Universal Telltale Signs

Some of the signs of infidelity documented in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs apply exclusively to cheating men. But many of the signs are universal and apply to both cheating husbands and cheating wives. Additional information about infidelity can be found at Although the website is primarily directed to women, about a third of the e-mails received come from men seeking advice about various telltale signs.

So What Should a Husband Do?

With infidelity affecting 80% of all marriages, the husband who values his marriage would do well to become familiar with the warning signs. He should always strive to be aware of his wife’s feelings and keep abreast of the things that are going on in her life. It’s not about being overly suspicious. It’s about keeping a finger on the pulse of his marriage. Forewarned is forearmed. This way, he’ll be equipped to recognize even the most subtle telltale signs. The future of his marriage may well depend on his ability to spot those telltale signs in time.
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© Ruth Houston 2004 All rights reserved.

Author's Bio: 

Ruth Houston is the author of “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs”. Her lifestyle and relationship articles have appeared in major magazines for the past 20 years. For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating spouses, visit