My daughter and I were in the midst of a challenging situation the other day as she was getting ready for school. We were about to enter into a big argument when I suddenly stopped myself (generally the most challenging part!), and thought... wait a minute, what is
it I'm actually wanting right now?

The answer was I wanted a peaceful morning with her, because I hate arguing before she goes off to school. And I wanted her to understand what I was saying. That's it. Nothing complicated. Just simple understanding. As soon as I dropped my defenses and stopped reacting to her reactions (how much sense does that make anyhow?), and remembered what I really wanted (the first step to the Law of Attraction!), everything changed.

My voice softened, I explained to her what I wanted was for her to understand, she got "it", the energy completely shifted from tension to peace, and off she went to school... happy as a lark.

It's so easy sometimes to get caught up in what's going on in front of us and forget that our emotions are our essential guide to what we're creating.

Once we remember to stop and check in... does this feel good? Is this what I want or am I focused on what I don't want?

Then we can make the shift to focusing on what we do want and that changes our emotions so we can start creating what we do want.

The more conscious we can become of how we're feeling at any point in time, the easier it is to change it for the better, or at the very least, simply accept it so you can feel some emotional relief instead of resistance.

I had a client tell me today that sometimes he just wanted to wallow in feeling bad, but that as soon as he did, he started feeling guilty about it, because he didn't think he should feel that way. Guess what? That's resistance.

I asked him what he thought would happen if he just gave himself permission to feel bad and let that be okay, since it's next to impossible to change anything when we're feeling resistance.

He said, "I would probably stop feeling bad because I wouldn't be fighting it". Ahhhh, the sound of emotional relief.

Acceptance lets you move right out of what you were feeling bad about as soon as you give yourself permission to feel it. It's kind of a strange thing, but the more we resist our feelings and make ourselves wrong for feeling that way, the more our emotional self fights to hang on to them... like a two year old having a tantrum! Ouch.

So, the next time you're about to "slap on a happy face" over a so-called negative feeling, instead try giving yourself permission to just feel what you're feeling and let it be okay.

You'll see how quickly the negative emotion passes by and makes room for the good stuff that follows, because it's then easier to shift your focus to asking yourself... "And what do I really want?"

Know without a doubt, that everything you want is within your reach... you just have to ask, receive and allow it all to come... even if it's just wanting to feel better. :-)


Author's Bio: 

© 2008 Dawn Allen


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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, MS, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships specializing in helping single women to attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit Inspired Heart Coaching and receive her E-book when you subscribe to her Secrets to Love Ezine, or email her at