One
We equate failure with a small death. Failure is a failed concept. It is the erroneous belief that you can’t recover from a mistake. It is the belief that you’ll die of shame, blame, embarrassment, or guilt, if you make a mistake, or that somehow you, of all the billions of people in the world, cannot learn what you need to know or access the skill you need to succeed. That internal chain of cognitive/emotional events in your head creates a prison – the false fetters of fear - which bars almost everyone from succeeding. The truth is that life always offers you an infinite number of do-overs, no matter what – but you or your programming doesn’t. But feel how good it feels to know that failure doesn’t exist, just an endless supply of do-overs.

It is up to you to use them! The real prison guards are in your head, not in the real world. Fire them! Release yourself!

Two
Failure forces us to become unique individuals, to grow whether we want to or not. We become individuals distinct from anyone else through struggle and challenge.

But that doesn’t mean failure has to be painful.

Failure makes us access internal resources we did not know we had and cope with the unexpected. For example, the distinguishing feature of failure is revealed in the difference between reading about or watching someone ride a bicycle and actually riding a bicycle. You have to get on and fall down a few times before you develop a personal relationship with how its done. You must internalize your own unique relationship with a goal to achieve it, and failure is a necessary ingredient in the recipe for success. There is no substitute for failure as a skillful teacher. This teacher gives us intimate, honest, well-designed and even compassionate insight into the steps toward how we - personally - can succeed.

Three
Failure is the distorted belief that there is no solution. There is always a solution, but we may not know what it is - yet. Keeping an open mind, thinking creatively, and remaining calm and focused through failure creates a new path to solutions and success. I know because I regained my eyesight after an accident that left me totally blind. I regained my vision, even though my doctors said I would never see again because my optic nerves had atrophied. Finding a solution depends on how much we want or need that goal. I refused to accept ‘failure’; my need was great. I found the solution experts said did not exist. But soon I could see them shaking their heads - by not accepting failure as a fact. I could not have done that before. And now I can show others how they can succeed, no matter what. Literally. But you don’t need me; you have the need to succeed and therefore can unfold your own secrets to success. I did it alone, with no help, while being browbeaten by learned men.

Four
Failure is the belief that you are defined, limited and trapped by your past history. Your past is a selective and generalized distortion of the truth, lacking accuracy and balance. You must re-inspect, re-interpret, re-evaluate and release yourself from what you believe you experienced as your past, what you believe your present to be, and what you think your future could be. Beliefs, especially erroneous ones, delete significant material from factual reality. You must find previously deleted understandings, abilities and knowledge embedded in your deleted life experiences and make them accessible to you now. You are gifted with a mind and body that is only limited by your imagination. Imagine moving through failure to find out how it will be when you succeed and then looking back to realize how you did it. This is one of the methods I used to find the strength to regain my eyesight.

Five
All the skills, knowledge, and wisdom you have, everything you enjoy and prize in this life, you discovered through initially being completely ignorant, confused, doubtful, uncertain, and fearful. Everything you now know you failed at first to learn. Before you learned to walk you were afraid, uncertain, confused. You failed so often that all of us, without exception, knowledgeable adults, faced with such a daunting task would still be crawling on all fours and writing laws about how crazy it is to walk on two legs. Because we have accepted our cultural standards about failure, which are false. Apply the eternal optimism and energy of a child’s perspective toward endless do-overs and persistence to the goal. You can do this because you did –once - long ago. The proof that foolish optimism is far more concrete in its results is all around you. Now you can dance, jump and run with skill and ease without even thinking about how hard it was at first. Before you learned to read, write or drive a car you were ignorant, confused, scared and you surely failed; now you read, write and drive without even thinking about it – you just do it! Let’s face the real facts - before you learned to make love, you were doubtful, confused, fearful and failed, and now you find its rewards delightful.

Now that you know you cannot and have not ever learned anything of value in your life without at first being ignorant, unsure, chaotic, fearful, failing and confused, welcome it! Welcome that feeling of ignorance, fear and doubt because it portends an enormous new discovery! In fact, the more confusion, fear and ignorance, the more reward and joy after moving through it and mastering it! This is real maturity!

Be thrilled at the prospect of entering the unknown; get excited when you recognize you have become confused; feel motivated when you know you are faced with something absolutely alien to your competency; be energized, knowing you will have the glorious opportunity to fail miserably before you embrace awesome skill, power and joy because that is exactly how you have gained any and all of the treasures you prize so dearly today. Think about it.

The Fact Is:
There is no other way. You cannot be knowledgeable before you are ignorant of that knowledge first. You cannot be skillful before you have failed without that skill. You cannot be great before you have been nothing at all. And since you cannot resist going forward into the unknown, since no one can be sure of the future, and you cannot go anywhere but forward in time, accept the inevitable and embrace ignorance and failure because they simply cannot persist - as long as you do. Failure is the inevitable precursor to your glorious success. It is assured, it will be on time in your time, and it will not be late.

Dr. Jaz, PhD, CPsyD
Call 914-960-2882
drjaz@doctorjaz.com
http://www.doctorjaz.com one-on-one and telephone consultation for personal and professional success in all areas of life, business and sports
Precision Coaching and Counseling
Let yourself be silently drawn ...
By the stronger pull of what You truly love.
-Rumi

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Jaz has is a PhD, licensed clinical CPsyD, NLP Master Practitioner, a board-certified medical hypnoanalyst, personal coach and Sports Mind Coach. As founder of Precision Coaching and Counseling (doctorjaz.com), he provides in-person and telephone coaching and counseling for professional and personal success across the country. He also provides expert keynote lectures, workshops and seminars for businesses, non-profit, academic, religious, sports and other organizations. Dr. Jaz has appeared on television and radio, hosted his own radio talk show, offered presentations in the US and Canada, worked with the New York City Mayor’s Office, the US Defense Logistics Agency, and coached numerous professionals. He’s written numerous articles, and taught at Daeman College and LaGuardia College. His forthcoming book is entitled, “One Minute Makeover”, outlining his short-term, fast-track techniques for personal and professional success. He can be reached at 914-960-2882, email: drjaz@doctorjaz.com. He is very easy to talk with.