Finding Love

Part One - The Powerful Cycle of Prayer

I know of a young mother who recently took her own life. As I was discussing this tragedy with my teenage son, we pondered the immeasurable pain she must have felt to take this drastic action. To leave the lives she brought into this world, she must have experienced extreme agony. I know I can’t even imagine what she must have been feeling and yet, I try to understand.

Driving home from the funeral, I drifted temporarily into what I envisioned she might have been thinking. I heard my son’s voice utter, “Maybe she just wanted to get closer to God.”

This profound statement got me thinking even more deeply, so I went home and did some research. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, there are over 32,000 suicides each year. Major Depressive Disorder plagues close to 15 million Americans and is far more prevalent in women than men. Approximately 40 million have been labeled with anxiety disorder. 26.2% of our U.S. population – “about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.”

So do we all just surrender to the idea that we’re a chronically medicated society and will be until we’re six feet under? Or is there another answer? Is it possible that these alarming statistics are the symptom of a culture that is feeling disconnected from its higher source of power – call it God, Goddess or Creator. I like to think of it simply as Love.

I believe that as we all connect more completely with Love, with God, we experience unparalleled joy, peace and hope. Hope that the world can achieve harmony. Hope that families can connect on a deep level and learn through the forgiveness of challenging relationships. Hope that each individual will see and strive for living their life of abundance in service to humanity. So the question becomes, how does our society connect with this power of Love? How do we find Love?

Yesterday I handed out a “prescription”. I wrote a personalized prayer of Love and empowerment for a client to recite daily. As I ripped the paper off the monogrammed pad and handed it to him, I smiled and said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if professionals prescribed more prayer than medications?”

The word “prayer” has become a loaded word. For some it brings up feelings of support and freedom, but for others it summons thoughts of oppression. Images of intimidating formal religions teaching prayer as a one way form of communication dominate. Rules that only certain authorities are able to hear the messages from God diminish belief that “prayer” is actually a form of two-way communication with an almighty universal force.

Scientist, author and speaker, Gregg Braden, describes journeying to the mountains with a Native American to pray for rain. What he experiences is far different from what most of us are familiar with. The prayer is brief. The Native American begins by taking off his shoes. Then, in communication with his Gods, he visualizes the dirt on his bare feet become oozing mud, he feels raindrops trickling down his cheeks, he smells the dampness of earth, and he sees the corn growing in the fields. In his heart, not only is he asking for rain, but he is trusting that his Gods will respond in his peoples’ best interest. He has no doubt.

Traditional prayer has been defined as “the act of communicating to a deity”; “pleading”. Some of the synonyms for “prayer” include “begging”, “beseeching”, and “imploring”. There is an underlying implication that prayer is less than empowering. Interestingly enough, this is a more recent development as the origin of “pray” was simply “to ask”.

What Gregg Braden illustrates through his story is that prayer is about an empowered partnership in what he calls a “participatory universe”. Prayer starts a conversation with God by asking for help with a problem and knowing that it will be resolved, with the level of confidence the Native American displayed when he set out to end a drought.

There is a cycle with prayer that is important to understand, or much of the effect can get lost. When you have a problem, whatever it is, initiate dialogue with your God and Angels through prayer. Ask for help. Not by “pleading”, but rather with a sense of knowing that your prayer will be answered in alignment with your life purpose. Then as your Angels respond, strive to listen, gain clarity, get closer to your Source… and then as needed, pray some more. You may need to practice the art of pretending at first to believe that your answer will come, but that’s okay! Just continue this cycle of prayer until your problem is resolved.

So the next time you are feeling blue, begin by praying for help. As you go about your prayer, see yourself as joyful, healed and whole. See the desired result in your mind’s eye. Then wait…for guidance from your Angels. This guidance will come in a variety of ways such as: you may suddenly feel the urge to go for a walk in the woods. You may find yourself feeling very thirsty (dehydration is linked to depression). You may feel a sudden desire to call a friend and go to a movie.

Whatever guidance you receive may not bring you directly to your desired end result, but will bring you closer. So you go for the walk in the woods and you feel better for a few hours. At which point, you pray some more…and this cycle continues until you feel resolved.

The catch behind prayer is that if you don’t do it, if you don’t ask for help from your divine Source, you won’t get it. You need to ask. You need to pray. You need to access the power of Love. We all do. And remember, Love heals all things.

Part Two - Maintaining Sacred Balance

“Balance” is one of those words that summons mixed emotions. I hold it in high regard, although the only time this sneaky noun comes to my attention is when I’m not balanced. The faint whisper of “balance” or the loud scream of “BALANCE” mean I have tossed my equilibrium aside and I have work to do. It means I have somehow decided that my connection to one or more aspects of who I am aren’t a priority. It means I have let my self-care rituals for my physical, emotional and/or spiritual wellbeing slide leaving me in a wobbly and precarious state. It means that any stress or challenge floating my way could send me plummeting into the wild abyss of chaos, frustration or sadness. It means I need to set aside any other tasks at hand and render restoring balance my #1 priority.

So why is maintaining a state of balance such a fine art and so critical?
This is a wonderful and challenging world we live in. Everyday, the vast majority of those living in the US have more choices than you can shake a stick at. We have so much freedom we literally don’t know what to do with it and for many of us these choices cause stress and distraction.

We can get in our cars and drive in any direction (okay, borders and oceans excepted.) We can go to any one of the mega malls nearby and shop at a store that is mostly pink, or jungle themed, or high-tech streamlined, or has red doors. We can pick up a cell phone and connect with anyone, anywhere at anytime. We can press a few buttons or power up a laptop and be entertained by anyone of the hundreds of Hollywood actors; and if they don’t tickle us, then we can watch regular Josephine battle regular Desiree to be America’s Next Top Model.

The choices we face make it hard to “see the forest for the trees.” If we skid to the left with caring for our physical selves by neglecting the need for exercise, fresh air and the consumption of foods that nourish, the result can be a body we dislike possibly hosting a range of allergies, sensitivities or diseases. If we skid to the right with caring for our emotional selves by doing the things that join us together and bring us joy everyday, the result can be loneliness and depression. If we slip down the center crack with caring for our spiritual selves through prayer, music, meditation, yoga, or whatever connects us to that powerful chord of self-Love, the result can be apathy, isolation and despair.

Each of us has a path of service, a reason for being here. All the choices we have in our world are wonderful, so long as they don’t cause us to skid left, right or slip down Alice’s rabbit hole. It takes work and dedication to first of all figure out what routine keeps you in balance. There are no two paths that are the same. Then secondly, holding steadfast to that routine because you love yourself, because you care.

My angel friends have recently guided me to a no-wheat, no-dairy, no-meat, no-sugar diet. May sound like no-fun, but as drastic as it seems, it’s actually fine because I feel better and I love my fruits, veggies and grains. Fine that is, until I go out for dinner. I was recently in a restaurant where there was one thing on the menu I could eat – a dinner salad. Everyone around me was enjoying all sorts of delicious choices: pizza, meat, pasta, you name it – all America’s comfort foods. I was tempted to turn my back on my divine instructions and say “forget it – I’d rather exercise my right to choose and side with your red skinned, fork-tailed counterpart”, when I heard a little voice ask “Do you love yourself enough to say no? Do you love yourself enough to only eat what nourishes you?” Of course, what else could I say but “YES?!”

Finding and maintaining balance is all about making the choice in the moment that consistently answers Yes to the questions of “is this what the Angels would choose for me? Is this how I love me?”

When my fresh, green serving of happiness was placed in front of me, I smiled within because I was connected to the Love I have for me. There was no teetering. There was no tottering. I felt balanced physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Part Three - Open Your Heart to Receive

You know you want to make changes in your life. But where do you begin? How do you start to create that change? What steps do you need to take to manifest your deepest desires? Where is the Love you’re looking for…the love of life, the love of self, the love of God?

In the first article of this series, Finding Love, we focused on the Powerful Cycle of Prayer (Feb/Mar) and learned how important it is to ask for help from God and the Angels. In the second article, with all the stresses of our modern society, we understood how crucial it is to Maintain Sacred Balance (Apr/May) as we wait for our prayers to be answered. In this last and final article, we bring attention to the often overlooked art of receiving; of trusting that if we open our hearts and surrender to the will of the Divine Spirit, we will not only feel safe, but we will live a peaceful and joyful existence.

This Divine Spirit speaks to you through all your senses: sight, sound, taste, smell and touch. Spirit also communicates through your ability to open your heart and expand to the infinite possibilities that are always available to you. I call this opening of your heart the same as developing your Angelic Intuition. Where your senses are anchored in your brain, your intuition is anchored in your heart. The more closed your heart, the harder it is to receive the abundant answers to the prayers your Angels have waiting for you. The more you can open yourself up to love with every cell of your body, the more you will experience life with a sureness that exudes “yes, there is a Higher Power that answers my prayers and yes, I can trust it because Its love for me is safe, unconditional and pure.”

One of my passions is teaching women how to connect with their Angelic Intuition. Interestingly enough most are already conscious of a relationship with their Angels. Certainly their communication is on the never ending path of continuous improvement, but they do believe a higher power exists and they can feel that connection in a moment of “I knew I should have ____!”

The Angels tell me that women have closer access to their intuition because of their inherent energetic bond with others. The definition of the word “intuition” comes from extending your energy field into that of another life form. As women, we are born with an easy ability to reach into other energy fields and assess what’s going on. We possess this gift, because our primary role is to nurture, support and care for our children, our friends, our families and basically anyone we encounter. As mothers, without obvious evidence, we know when something is wrong with our children – even if they are 3000 miles away. We can sense that a diaper will need changing five minutes before the pee happens. We know when our children say they’re fine after a day at school and we know they’re anything but fine. We understand at a very refined level when things are “off”. We are the natural givers as designed by God. (Please note: this is not to say that there are men who are fully capable of mothering. I often say my husband is more of a mother than I am, but for the majority of the men, this is not yet the case.)

As women, we are most challenged with two primary elements when it comes to using our intuition. First, when things are “off”, too many times we mask our feelings with explanations of denial. I’ll give you a personal example that comes and goes straight from my heart.

Our son is a beautiful loving 15 year old who is very independent, sure of his male self, and still says “I love you!” to me every day. He has been attending a prestigious school in Rhode Island since 5th grade. Now a freshman, he has struggled this year with his academics. Not because he can’t handle it; in fact he was evaluated and found to be very smart. He’s just bored and uninspired by what’s being taught. (I’m guessing many of you can relate to this!) Even though his grades were okay last year, I felt something was beginning to go astray. His situation was not bringing me peace at the soul level, yet I kept my head in the sand. I held back from looking truthfully at the problem that had been brewing.

And then our young truth-bearer threw it in our faces and his grades slipped into a black abyss rendering his invitation to attend next year a big question mark. He needs to be in an environment that is stimulating and excites him to learn. While his current school may help him get into a high-ranking college, it may extinguish his spirit in the process. Wanting to believe that his school will change and he will find that inspiration, I’d ignored the problem; I hadn’t opened my heart to fully receive the message being sent from my Angels. As women, we know when something’s wrong, our #1 challenge is facing the situation and accepting the truth that lies before us, even if it flies in the face of logic or societal expectations.

Our second hurdle comes with trusting as we maneuver through the landmines of embracing our intuition and inviting our truth to be a priority – our truth with our careers, our truth with our partners, our truth with our family relationships. Creating change can be very dramatic and sometimes paralyzing. This is when you must remain steadfast with your process of prayer, balance and openness to receive.

My husband and I were shopping at a little fairy store on Newbury Street in Boston a few years ago in celebration of our 20th anniversary. As we chatted with the shopkeeper, he asked us, “How do you know when you’ve found the right partner? How do you know?” What blurted out of my mouth surprised me, but came straight from the Angels, “You don’t have to ask if it’s right. You just know… with unwavering doubt.” This is what opening your heart is all about. Knowing without question that the choices you are living each day are right for you.

Live your life with unwavering faith as you pursue your personal truth. It is with discovering this truth that you find true love. And if you don’t know how to begin, then pray for guidance. Maintain balance in your life and then open your heart to receive. Your prayers will be answered. They always are. Love will find you. Are you ready to receive?