And How to Avoid Making Them Worse

No marriage is perfect.

So what are the most common problems that 60 million married couples face?

A recent survey I conducted showed that the five most common marriage problems are:
1. Infidelity
2. Constant low-grade bickering
3. Money issues
4. Neglect/silent treatments
5. Boredom/lost spark

I’m no stranger to marital conflict. Unlike most relationship experts, for me the topic of marriage success is personal.

My wife and I were deeply in love. But then three of our children died as newborns. Very quickly we became roommates rather than soul mates.

After a disappointing experience with traditional therapy, we saved our marriage by instituting positive relationship habits. The experts wanted us to tackle our problems, but focusing on what was wrong just made our situation worse. When we let go of our problems and did positive things with each other, that’s when we got results.

If you have marital issues, try “marriage fitness exercises” rather than conflict resolution and communication techniques. The solution to most marital situations is to let go of your problems and spend your energy building your relationship through positive actions. If you do this correctly, your problems will dissipate and what remains of them can be more easily resolved in a safer, softer, and more forgiving marital environment.

If your relationship is on the rocks, you should not tackle your problems. Because if your timing is off, you can damage your marriage and make it less likely that you’ll ever find resolution.

A great marriage is not the result of successful problem solving. Real love comes from establishing positive habits and doing them consistently.

And when you “make” love in your marriage, you never know what life will bring. After restoring our marriage, my wife and I gave birth to triplets!

Author's Bio: 

Mort Fertel is the author of “Marriage Fitness,” a sought after public speaker, and a world-renown marriage coach. You can take his FREE marriage assessment and get the FREE breakthrough report “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” at You can also buy your copy of “Marriage Fitness” at