***CHOICES IN ANGER: Emotions, Mind and Spirit, Part 1

Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.
William James

Introduction
Anger is a natural response to being endangered or hurt. Challenges that commonly elicit anger include:

• Being attacked verbally or physically
• Being threatened verbally or physically
• Intrusion upon or disrespect of our boundaries
  *Physical
  *Social
• Not receiving
  *Something in the outer world that was promised or expected (material or benefits)
  *Behaviors or attitudes that are expected (respectfulness, courtesies, attention)

In this editorial we focus on interactions of emotions and the mind, while not neglecting body (discussed in the last IJHC editorial), relationships and spirit.

The emotions
Acute anger is usually a visceral, emotional reaction. Our stress hormones kick in, we may flush as blood is diverted from our internal organs to our muscles. Adrenalin makes our heart beat faster and our breathing deeper and faster. We prepare to respond to the challenge.

Many of our anger responses will be based on unconscious habits of reacting to similar stimuli in the past. If we have been successful in reacting with aggression, we are likely to respond again with aggression. If we have had better luck with withdrawing from previous stimuli to anger, we are more prone to withdraw – either from the scene of the challenge or simply into ourselves, either withholding or actually burying our response in our unconscious mind. If we have observed or have been treated with aggression by others when they were angry (particularly our parents and other family members), we are more likely to respond with aggression ourselves.

The mind: issues of choice and control
Most of the issues around anger relate to aspects of not being in control, feeling out of control, or feeling a loss of control.

Acute anger
When we are in situations of actual physical danger, anger can be helpful because it activates the stress hormones that facilitate fight or flight. If a man with a gun enters the room I am in, I may react more quickly and forcefully with the help of these hormones, which increase my alertness and enhance my muscle strength. I may be able to duck or run away more quickly, which could save my life.

Chronic anger
Angry responses may be unhelpful, however, when fight or flight responses are not necessary or appropriate. If I am sitting behind the wheel of my car in rush hour traffic, late for my appointment and unable to see what is causing the traffic delay, my stress hormones may build up and I may have no way to discharge them immediately, and no way to focus my energies in ways that could resolve the outward causes of my frustration. When I finally speed up towards my destination, if a car cuts in front of me and endangers my life, I may be frightened and angry, again without any way of addressing the person who stirred these feelings. My cell phone doesn’t connect with the office, the elevator is out of order when I arrive, already late for my meeting. I get pushed aside in the stairwell by a workman carrying a chair downstairs. The secretary who could smooth matters is away from her desk. My boss may bawl me out for being late, my IN box may be overflowing, and my wife may interrupt me urgently – just as I feel I am moving towards getting matters in hand - to ask what to do about a leak under the bathroom sink.

Unexpressed anger
Innumerable frustrations, large and small, can build up tensions and angers. Often, we stuff these away because we feel there is no way to express them. Getting angry with a supervisor could endanger our employment. We may sometimes release feelings in verbal aggression towards those who offend us, perhaps screaming at the car that cuts in front of us, growling at someone who interrupts us, or pushing back against someone who jostles us rudely. While these responses may provide some release for the raging temper, they may also aggravate conflicts into more angry interchanges, making matters worse rather than better. Angers may escalate rather than get discharged and reduced.

We often end up stuffing our angers away somewhere inside ourselves. Most of us carry around buckets full of such feelings. When something comes along to anger us, we may respond with an excess of anger. This explains a lot of road rage, office rage, marital discord, and social conflicts. When our buckets are full to overflowing, any little stimulus to anger can give us the opportunity to dump other, stored up angers from our buckets along with the immediately provoked ones.

Furthermore, holding in anger is not good for our health. Chronic stresses and tensions can lead to physical dysfunctions. The neurohormonal, cardiovascular, pulmonary and genitourinary systems are particularly prone to such disorders, but they can occur in any organ system in the body. In the editorial of September 2001 IJHC I explored long lists of body language that reflects this awareness, such as “I got my guts in an uproar,” “I was really pissed off,” “I took that insult to heart,” and many more.